Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Is it normal to spend the last few weeks of pregnancy bellowing at your toddler? (Warning - may include elements of whinging and selfpity)

34 replies

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 17/02/2009 19:27

I'm 34 weeks and have reached the stage where I can't get comfortable in bed, on the sofa, on the floor, anywhere. I can't pick things up off the floor, I can't play on the floor, DS sitting on my lap is tricky, I can't pick him up, I can't do simple things like hanging out the washing, can't even climb the stairs without getting out of breath, and the baby's bum is pressing really hard into the top of the bump.

Had the day off work today as my mum, who normally looks after DS on a Tuesday, is away. Thought it would be a lovely opportunity to spend some quality time with DS before the baby comes.

But no. I spent most of the day bellowing at him, have absolutely no patience whatsoever, couldn't play with him very easily, and we have just ended it all with a mega tantrum about his bath. Then DP comes home and suddenly all is well and DS is all smiles and says 'we've been waiting for you all day Daddy'....

Feel like the worst mother in the world. Poor child just wants his mummy back the way she was, not this shouty fat bird who's no fun at all.

And I still have five weeks to goooooooooooooooooooooooo! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

Not sure I can bear it.

I know there's no advice to be had, but if anyone has any sympathy to offer I'll gladly take it. Or chocolate (although that makes me feel sick too.....)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lilymolly · 17/02/2009 19:30

oh I feel your pain, I am 36 weeks, and I have a 3 year old girl and I have been known to shout at her

I apologise after and explain mummys tired etc- take as much rest as possible, ask for help and sit ds in front of TV and rest god dammit!!

Original poster

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 17/02/2009 19:33

Yes, DS is nearly 3 and has reached the stage of asking for things over and over and over and over and over again and not listening to anything you ask him until I might go screaming mad!

DS, do you want a banana? Do you want a banana? Do you want a banana? Would you like a banana? DS, DO YOU WANT A BANANA BEFORE I THROW ALL THE BANANAS OUT OF THE FRIGGING WINDOW!!!!!

Can't work out if he's being worse than normal or if I've just lost the ability to tune it out.....

OP posts:

pistachio · 17/02/2009 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 17/02/2009 19:42

Aaaaaah, pistachio, now I'm worried! I was hoping when I could bend in the middle again I might return to vaguely good mother mode.....

Should I tell DS to kiss his lovely mummy goodbye forever? Yikes....

OP posts:

ellenjames · 17/02/2009 19:44

i am a right fishwife at the mo! Am 35 weeks pregnant with dd3 and ds2 and it's half term aahh!! Have spd too so am feeling great at the mo! I just keep thinking to myself, it will all be over soon! chin up and good luck!

CaptainKarvol · 17/02/2009 19:46

Sympathy from a 36 weeker whose nearly 3 year old DS has started saying 'what you talking about?' to bloody everything I say. I have no patience whatsoever at the moment either...

I don't want to be still like this once the new baby comes either!

peggotty · 17/02/2009 19:51

Ok, I was like this x100 when pg with ds. My dd must have wondered who had replaced her normal mother with a psychotic bitch from hell. Sorry, but it did continue for a number of months after I had ds as he was not an easy baby and I don't cope well with stress anyway! He is a year old now and adorable and I am not the same mummy I was before, a bit less patient, a bit more frazzled and not as much time for dd BUT i am no longer psycho-mum. I think the arrival of dc2 does change your relationship with your 1st child but they adapt and cope with it amazingly, as children always do!

gingerninja · 17/02/2009 19:53

Oh I could have written this. I feel so hideous, fat, uncomfortable, can't even put a pair of socks on. I can't sleep, I have terrible varicose veins in my groin which make standing really painful. My bump is so heavy and this baby just doesn't stop heaving itself around and I mean stretching itself out at full length with no regard to my insides. I have heartburn permanently which makes bending over horrible and DD is at the stage where she leaves a trail of devastation behind her all the time. All of this has made me a real grump and I feel terrible but have lost the plot a bit on a few occasions and just shouted and roared. My DD is also a non listener to anything directed at her and has taken to slinging her food around and generally acting up. My patience, which was never very good, is now very limited and now my DH has got man flu.

Ah, but I feel better knowing I'm not the only one. Roll on the next 4 weeks. I loved being pregnant first time around. I hate it this time, it feels like a total inconvenience.

thefortbuilder · 17/02/2009 19:56

nothing to add about the pg bit but it's good to know that other ds's of nearly 3 completely ignore their mothers. phew

and eventually you will get back to normal and not shouting like a fishwife - at least that's what i've heard ds2 is 11 months btw and i still bellow all the time

superjump · 17/02/2009 20:06

Yup, I am exactly the same at 37 weeks with my 3 year old. It's actually been worse since I got a terrible cold & lost my voice completely, as I cant yell, & feel like I'm about to explode trying to get his attention! Tried to be a lovely mummy today & took him to a new soft play place that's miles from home, he had a tantrum (very unusual for him) half way up a ladder thing, I couldnt yell at him to come down, couldnt climb up and get him, nearly cried myself!!

SpookyMadMummy · 17/02/2009 20:42

I am 35 weeks. I have spent the last 2 days shouting at the Dd's Dd1(7, has ASD) seems to repeat everything, not just once, but the same word over and over again, Its a habit she has picked up somewhere . Dd2(4) on the other hand, has come to the decision that bedtime means stay awake till at least 10pm while annoying dd1 at the same time and keeping DH awake, (he works shifts and has to be up at 2 am for work) so I am in the middle as referee.
I feel shocking today, had a tough time yesterday, and the baby seems to want to do nothing but kick 7 bells out of me. I feel your pain.

ohdearwhatamess · 17/02/2009 20:48

yes, and the following year too

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 17/02/2009 20:49

Sending you loads of sympathy. We went on holiday when I was 34 weeks, with a 3.6 year old preschooler. I had such a crap week.

dd1 still says now (and the baby is 18months btw) "why didn't mummy like the Devon?"

I'm afraid I hated the Devon, nothing wrong with it really, just I was pg and impatient and miserable and wracked with heartburn.

pinkspottywellies · 17/02/2009 20:50

I got to this stage a couple of weeks ago (due on Saturday!) but I know I turn into a witch when I'm tired!!

I started taking iron and multi-vitamins and having a nap in the afternoon when I can which has been about twice a week, when I can send dd to a friend's house for the afternoon. I hated having to ask people to have her but I just could not function and we were both ending up in tears - me feeling so awful for shouting at her

Try to look after yourself - and I might even roll out 'not long now!!'

Original poster

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 17/02/2009 20:54

How on earth do people go on to have more than two? My memory of pregnancy number one is of wafting around while people brought me things, having long naps, folding tiny vests in a glow of prospective motherhood etc etc

This one seems to be mainly characterised by weeping, bellowing, not getting nearly enough sleep, feeling like a terrible mother and wanting to crawl into bed and never get out. Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggggggghhhhhh.

Good to know I'm not alone though How do our children put up with us?

OP posts:

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 17/02/2009 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

minouminou · 17/02/2009 21:30

THE Devon - oooohhhh...that's conjured up all sorts of sinister images.
Yeah, 31 weeks here, still chicking and itching, and have shouted at DS (2 years and 4 months) a few times throughout the PG.
Feel awful about it - good to know i'm not alone.
I find now the weather's improved we're spending more time outside (DS didn't like the snow much - I may disown him), and this means he's getting more exercise and so acts up less - not that he's especially difficult to begin with, but he IS 2.

Ceebee74 · 17/02/2009 21:38

Absolutely 'been there and done that'. Ds2 is now 3 months old and I seem to spend my entire time telling DS1 to 'leave DS2 alone', 'get out of his face', 'stop poking him in the eye' etc etc.

And those first few weeks after DS2 was born....someone definitely replaced my happy sunny DS1 with a whinging, tantrumming devil (not that I am trying to scare you!)

Spaceman · 17/02/2009 21:41

I posted just about the same message when I was 34 weeks pg - felt awful but I was totally ratty with my DD and felt bad. It is normal so I was told, and it does go away.

EsmeWeatherwax · 17/02/2009 21:46

Oh, I started in fishwife mode last week. Am only 30 weeks, but hugely stretched, spd laden, horribly sore backed, generally miserable. Dd is lovely, but very strong willed, think I spent my whole two days off with her last week alternately yelling at her, and dissolving into tears myself. Its awful...

Original poster

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 17/02/2009 21:56

Right, have spent the evening hunting down payslips in order to claim Maternity Allowance, which has not improved my mood!

Going to bed now - thank you for all your messages, so glad I'm not the only pregnant fishwife out there!

Night all x

OP posts:

gingerninja · 18/02/2009 09:24

So pleased you started this thread whatfreshhell. Making me feel less like a monster. I actually stamped my feet in rage this morning at DH and DD. Who is the toddler here?

I forgot to mention that the only time I feel normalish is when we go swimming as the weight is lifted from my bump. Also DD loves swimming and it knackers her out which is a bonus. Maybe it's worth the effort if anyone else is suffering massiveheavybumpitis.

Who was the mad fool that went on holiday at 34 weeks? What were you thinking of. And to The Devon? Proper bonkers

maddylou · 18/02/2009 09:33

I do remember this feeling ,when I was expecting DC3 I just got all the toys and put them near the TV and tried to supervise from the sofa,the Health Visitor did say "Ive never seen so many toys !" but it did mean I wasnt constantly going to get stuff for the 4 and 2 year old.

minouminou · 18/02/2009 13:52

I think on MN, Devon should now be renamed The Devon - it has a great ring to it.

Lotster · 18/02/2009 14:23

Hello OP,

In answer to your question, erm, how about for the whole pregnancy??! I have been close to the end of my tether throughout, not to mention knackered, whingey, and all punctuated by lots of sighing...

Now at 37.5 weeks I have finally mastered the sing-song "don't upset the crazy lady" voice which I use to explain over and over relentlessly why we "don't hit mummy/daddy/the fish tank, kick the dog up the bum constantly, shout, throw our toys...etc etc" as the aggro I was unleashing before was having a rebound effect from my 2.5 year old cherub/devil.

It is just so hard the second time I've found, you are not special, people do not treasure you or fuss you and I feel like throwing a tantrum myself when he does
Still, only so long it can last!

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread