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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I REALLY want another a baby.

30 replies

SmallShips · 31/01/2009 13:56

and i can't tell anyone in RL, i get the look, the 'you have enough look'.

I really, really want another one...

Felt good to tell someone.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LadyOfWaffle · 31/01/2009 13:59

How many do you have? I would love love LOVE another one but want to lose weight & get ontop of my depression 1st. Does your DH know?

FloriaTosca · 31/01/2009 14:06

I know just how you feel...I dream of having another but for many reasons (health,age, finance) Dh wants to stick with just the one we have
Ds is 16mths and is a toddler/little boy already, I loved being pg, and absolutely adore being a Mum and DS was a "baby" for such a terribly short time.... I yearn for another little bundle in my arms and that amazing rush of instant unconditional mother love ....[yearning/longing/wistful emoticon]

Original poster

SmallShips · 31/01/2009 15:45

I have 2 already, DS is nearly 3 and DD is nearly 1.

Too many issues to think about, so would rather not think and just do it. DH is willing(ish) to have another.

I think if i don't do it i'll regret it.

LOW - DH worries about the depression side of things, i had mild PND after DS with occassional blips still and he doesn't want to start it off again.

Floria - can you not work on your DH? It's a horrible feeling isn't it?

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FloriaTosca · 31/01/2009 17:34

Smallships; did you know that there is a pesary called cyclogest, that they can give you after birthing to regulate hormones and prevent the sudden dip that can trigger pnd?
My dh saw me go through the hell of 6 mcs before falling pg with Ds and I needed daily injections of heparin to keep my placenta going then I got Gd and high blood pressure and needed hospitalising for the last 4 weeks before induction 2 weeks early....nothing in comparison to what some people go through but coupled with the fact that I was 43 when I finally got Ds and if I fell pg tomorrow, and it was a miraculous viable one like Ds, I'd be 45 when it was born...and add in the high risk of Downs/Edwards/Pataus etc, would it be fair to risk landing Ds with a disbled sibling? as well as older parents?...The arguments against are overwhelming...I just wish with all my heart that they werent.

Original poster

SmallShips · 31/01/2009 19:06

So, so sorry to hear that Floria .

I didn't know about cyclogest, something to think about and discuss.

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brettgirl2 · 31/01/2009 19:17

Smallships - I really dislike this modern rule that everyone seems to be expected to have two kids. If you want another then go for it!

Floria, I'd let nature take its course. If it's meant to be it will happen. Yes, the baby could be disabled or not. There is no guarantee that anyone won't be disabled - surely just as many people are disabled in accidents later on than from birth? In any case if you are that worried about those conditions then they can be screened for.

ScorpiowithabigS · 31/01/2009 19:26

Smallships - 2 is not 'the' rule - your heart rules what you need. Before i had Mimi, i was missing a plate, a pair of shoes, a bed.....god it was terrible.

I had bad PMT after the boys - i went on antids after birth for a month to cover that dip, and stopped them. All was and is fine, no pnd whatsoever.

ScorpiowithabigS · 31/01/2009 19:26

What are the other issues?

Lemontart · 31/01/2009 19:31

Smallships - I desperately wanted 3 children. Always visioned we would and see DD2 as a middle child not a youngest.
However, we kept saying "wait until the next house" as just not got the space. Now we have the credit crunch and should have moved last year. Ballpark moved, mortgages changed and looks like 2 or 3 yrs away. Result is that I have slowly realised that we will not have any more now. Half of me is very sad but the other half sees life getting easier and easier as DD2 gets older. Having both in school is almost a no point of return for me.
Your two are a lot younger though - if you want more, my advice is to go for it and not put it off as it just gets harder and harder to go back to all those early years stuff. (Just an opinion though as I know a lot of women like big gaps)

Original poster

SmallShips · 31/01/2009 19:36

I've had a long chat with DH and he seems more for it, there are no real reasons not to go for it, i can deal with the looks from my Mother and the rest of the issues are trivial day to day things, space/finances etc.

Seriously my Mum looks at me like i've grown a second head if i so much as mention the word pregnancy.

I can see 3 children sat on my sofa and i think if i don't have another i will really regret it.

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Original poster

SmallShips · 31/01/2009 19:38

Lemontart - I agree with you, i want to do it now, don't want a big age gap or problems that are bound to crop up during the next couple of years stopping us. Sorry it didn't happen for you.

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ScorpiowithabigS · 31/01/2009 19:40

Some women are so programmed at 'their' number, I am one of 3 and i said to Mum that we are ttc again - she said 'Why dear?'

If you are missing your baby then you have no reason not to. its your body, marriage, child, money, time, space.

QueenFee · 31/01/2009 23:24

I am now pregnant with No3.
I said I wasn't having any more after DS so felt a bit silly telling people I was pregnant. However I am so looking forward to it and I realise now more than ever that my family was not complete really at 2.
Interestingly, Now we have gone past 2 my DH is keen to have 4! Even though he was the most opposed to more than 2 initially.
Also the more I think about it 3 is the new 2 I know lots of only children and lots of familys of 3 or more but not so many with just 2? Maybe just me

QueenFee · 31/01/2009 23:26

BTW your kids look gorgeous!

Pinkbump3 · 31/01/2009 23:45

I really really wanted another baby after dd2 (who turned 8 today) and dp didnt want anymore so i had the coil fitted and tried to push it out of my mind but after 5yrs with the coil it got removed last year and i told dp how i still wanted another baby he said well lets see if we are meant to and we left it to fate! im now 29 weeks pg with another dd and we are both sooo happy dp has really surprised me and himself how excited he is about it. If you are yearning now you prob will still be 8yrs down the line like me.

Ps 2 kids is nothing these days go for number 3 at the end of the day its your family who the hell is anyone to judge how you live your life!

3 of my bf have 4 kids and one of them is going through ivf for number 5 after she got sterilised down to people telling her 4 was enough and she has regretted it since the day she she got her op she has been trying for 5yrs now after geting the op reversal, and her maternal instincs have never gone away!

duchesse · 31/01/2009 23:52

We always wanted 4. Didn't get around to it earlier than 5 years after the third due to 3 in 4 being rather hard work. Now due number 4 12 years after number 3. I never contemplated once giving up on number 4, apart from latterly when it looked as though it wouldn't happen. I really don't think I'd want to go for a number 5 (and I'm one of 5 so wouldn't phase me at all, plus the enormous gap). Maybe we really do have a programmed number.

Original poster

SmallShips · 01/02/2009 00:19

I am one of 2, so agree that my mum is programmed to 2.

Queenfee - I was also adamant that 2 was it, especially having one of each and even this week i have been selling of my old baby stuff hoping it will ease the feeling (it isn't).

I'm totally for it now!

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Original poster

SmallShips · 01/02/2009 00:23

Congratulations on all the pregnancies by the way!

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brettgirl2 · 01/02/2009 09:20

It's quite interesting really because I'm pg with number 1 and not being the most maternal person in the world I'm getting the opposite of the two child 'enforcement'.

I am also naturally quite rebellious and don't like being told what to do - so probably if I have another I'll have 3 haha!!

MrsMattie · 01/02/2009 10:17

I get that look at the moment - the 'You want more? Are you mad?' look. I have a DS who's about to turn 4 and a real handful, and a DD of 11 weeks old and I am already plotting how to change DH's mind and going for a third!

ilovemydogandMrObama · 01/02/2009 10:24

Me too! I want another!

DP hasn't said 'no' but when we start to discuss it, he wonders about logistics such as the seats in the back of the car

Think it's a guy thing.

theboob · 01/02/2009 10:25

it took me 2 years of nagging to get dc3 ,i'm now pregnant with dc4 and will prob still not stop
go for it,but i have the feeling you have made your mind up

Original poster

SmallShips · 01/02/2009 11:31

I'm 100% sure this is what i want and i don't think it will go away. DH is moaning about the car and bedrooms.

But what if i have number 3 and then want 4 and 5 and so on....?

Also, i can't stop thinking i've been so lucky having 2 healthy DC, what if it goes wrong this time? I panic about dying when giving birth more than is rational tbh.

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ScorpiowithabigS · 01/02/2009 11:33

SmallShips - all worries i had, i felt i was pushing it, asking 'someone' for 3 healthy dc, 3 problem free births....it was all fine.

DH was hard to persuade for 3 (REALLY hard) but we are ttc again, on his initial request, and have decided that 4 will be our lot, no matter what!

It is normal and acceptable for dc to share rooms btw.

ScorpiowithabigS · 01/02/2009 11:33

How are your births? Is it a big worry? I had a HB with dc3.

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