Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Has anyone found out the sex of their baby and successfully kept it to themselves?

26 replies

Phoenix · 28/01/2009 10:01

We want to find out the sex of DC2 but we don't want to tell anyone else so as not to spoil the surprise for them.

I'm worried about saying he/she or saying something like 'oooh i bought a lovely pink/blue outfit for the baby.'

My mum keeps saying not to find out because we will slip up and she really doesn't want to know, which in a way is making me more determined not to let anything slip out.

Has anyone managed it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

2pt4kids · 28/01/2009 10:03

I know a couple of friends who did this. They told everyone that they hadnt found out though and only let on afterwards, which I think is the key. No one is looking for slip ups or hints then!

fryalot · 28/01/2009 10:05

I did.

Twice

When people said "ooh, do you know what you are having?" I would smile, look really excited, and say:

"yes.

It's a....

baby!"

Which generally made them smile and not ask any more.

Just be careful that if you do buy pink/blue outfits nobody sees you in the shop

KerryMumbles · 28/01/2009 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

helsbels4 · 28/01/2009 10:11

When I was pg with ds, I had the opportunity to buy a video of the scan. DH didn't want to know the sex so sonographer wouldn't say. I worked for two GP's at the time and took the video to them to get them to have a look and they were both fairly sure it was a boy. I never let on to DH at all, or anyone else I don't think. Thankfully we both wanted to know when I was pregnant with dd so I didn't have to keep it from anyone!

bigbang · 28/01/2009 10:33

Yes, we did with ds. We told everyone he was in the wrong position on the scan and we couldn't see the sex. I am rubbish at lying, but I really didn't want people to find out so I managed this one!

I did slip up and say 'he' a couple of times but covered it up, also said that we didn't like saying 'it' so we said he or she as and when. No one noticed as they didn't think we knew.

It seems like a bit faffy written down but once we had told everyone once we didn't know the sex they didn't ask again. If we had said 'we know but we're not telling' it would have been harder and people (my mum and MIL!) would have kept asking.

Not sure we will be so successful this time round as ds is picking up on everything we say now, plus everyone knows what we did last time, we shall see...

Original poster

Phoenix · 28/01/2009 10:50

Yes we need to be careful what we say around ds. He's 3 next month so we need to keep it from him too because he'll tell everyone .

Good idea to say they couldn't see properly (hopefully they will.) Will def say that i think because we've already told alot of people that we're gonna find out but not tell.

Thanks for all the replies

OP posts:

ilovesummer · 28/01/2009 10:58

I'm doing this at the moment with dc3, i love having a secret. I also think it will be more fun for everyone else as they will get a surprise at the end.

countrylover · 28/01/2009 11:09

Yes, found out first time round and we didn't tell anyone..we pretended we didn't know and no one guessed and we didn't slip up once.

This time round for some reason we've told people we know but aren't telling. I don't think I've slipped up but DH keeps talking about boys names in front of people and I have to keep nudging him and saying yes but we need girls names too don't we? (Of course we don't, we're having another DS) So I think some people have guessed.

Tootlesmummy · 28/01/2009 11:14

When I was expecting my DS we weren't sure whether to find out or not as we didn't want everyone to buy blue or pink. However, at the scan as soon as we were asked if we wanted to know we said yes!
However, before the scan we always referred to the baby as Junior rather than 'it' and just maintained that we didn't know and kept calling him Junior until he was born. If you call the baby 'junior' or 'bump' you can stay away from 'he' or 'her' references......?

scotlass · 28/01/2009 11:43

I was told it looks like a boy at my scan but wouldn't hold the position and consultant wouldn't stake her reputation on it so now say when people ask we don't know and baby wasn't in a good enough position. Generally no-one has asked us twice - they just accept that answer. I've not bought anything though and the only person I slipped up to was the shop assistant when I was discussing prams!

ja9 · 28/01/2009 11:47

yes, i think we managed to keep it a secret...

that is until 4 days before she was born and very good friends had a baby and used the name we had chosen. at that point i phoned friends and family in unconsolable tears and they must have known i was having a girl for me to be getting so worked up about it...

theresonlyme · 28/01/2009 11:48

Yes. we did. We only found out wiht our 3rd but when he was born we did tell people that we had found out.

MrsOCD · 28/01/2009 11:50

Yes, we're managing to keep it secret with just a couple of weeks to go. We only discuss the sex of the baby when we're on our own and we refer to the baby as "sibling" to our dd rather than brother or sister. One problem is that I'm having to hide the colour of the new clothes from anyone who visits. Our dd is in the habit of turfing out drawers in front of visitors so a bit tricky!

CookieMonster2 · 28/01/2009 12:22

I'm glad I'm not the only one who wants to find out the sex for themselves but not tell anyone else. I am continually being made to feel weird for doing this, even by my dh. The first time we didn't manage to keep it quiet, my dh accidently said 'she' to his Mum, and despite the fact that she knew it was meant to be a secret told everyone, and we got pink presents with 'Haha' written on the tag before she was born, and we were meant to be grateful for these presents. Can you tell I am still bitter about it Hopefully we will be more successfull at keeping it quiet this time.

lauraloola · 28/01/2009 12:53

Yep! I found out at 34 weeks and me and dp kept it a secret.

We had a girl and I bought loads of pink things. I hid them at home and called them 'coloureds' to everyone! We didnt slip up once because we got used to it.

Everyone tried to catch us out but we didnt say a word.

Next time we will find out at 20 weeks but tell people we dont know to stop all of the questions!

mumoverseas · 28/01/2009 12:58

We have kept it quiet in RL (apart from older DC aged 15 and 12) People are constantly asking and at times I feel a little guilty about lying and saying we don't know but its nice to keep something to ourselves.
I've told people on here though. We are having a boy, in 12 days but don't tell anyone

Bink · 28/01/2009 12:58

Kept my knowledge a secret from dh too

That was only with ds (no.1) though. Dd I let be a real secret (ie from everyone, including me, except presumably the sonographer).

thefunkypea · 28/01/2009 13:00

We found out w dd, but I told everyone that my dh didn't want to know. Plus everyone at work regaled me w tales of when their cousin/bf/sister-in-law... were told it was a girl and it turned out to be a boy, blah blah blah, which was enough to plant a seed of doubt, so even I didn't rush out and buy loads of cute girls stuff until afterwards.

dan39 · 28/01/2009 17:23

We found out at 20 weeks but didn't tell anyone and its worked okay apart from the one person who dh told 'yes we know but we are not telling anyone' (before we had had the conversation wherein I explained why I didn't want to do this). This particular person is really annoying as he tries to catch us out all the time. People who don't know we know don't notice if you say 'he' or 'she' sometimes.

Dh was vaguely unhappy at first as he felt it was 'lying' but he is fine with it now and we only talk about her as 'her' when alone - yes I 'fessed up on here but not in RL!! Its nice to have a secret to ourselves - so much else seems to have become public property with this pg! And she is due in 7 days time!! It also might be wrong, of course....

MrsICanKeepASecret · 28/01/2009 17:45

Yes! Found out at 20 weeks (although sonographer did it in a hurry/strop as she had started to pack away equipment and clean up jelly before/without asking if we would want to find out) and said it "seems to be a boy" in an offhand kind of way and we didn't like her to be more specific, she made us feel uncomfortable.

On that basis we decided not to tell anyone just in case it isn't a boy, also we liked the idea of keeping something back for ourselves, pregnancy can be so public with all the questions and opinions/advice proffered all the time.

The first week was hard but if I found myself ever saying "he" I would make sure I found a way to refer casually to "she" five minutes later.

After a week or so it became 2nd nature to say "it" and I am v pleased that nobody else knows. They'll find out soon enough (7 weeks to go!!)

I thought we would really struggle but you sort of convince yourself that you don't know IYSWIM!!! Nursery all done in neutrals as is pram etc, it looks beeeautiful if I do say so myself, all white and cream, and I have to say I probably like it better than if I'd done it all in pink/blue.

MrsICanKeepASecret · 28/01/2009 17:48

Oh and we also said that we were dying to know on the day but the baby had one leg tucked up and sonographer couldn't get a better angle (give a detail or two, make it believable)

Original poster

Phoenix · 29/01/2009 10:11

It's definitely do-able then. We'll tell people the sonographer couldn't see. Roll on Feb 25th for the scan

OP posts:

katiepotatie · 29/01/2009 11:00

I had an amnio test and at the time we were asked if we wanted to know the sex of our baby, we didn't want to know so when they phoned with the results, they didn't tell us (everything else was fine).

A few weeks later we get the posted results with big letters on the front saying "if you requested not to know the sex of your baby, please do not open this envelope" !!

I have had to hide it from my husband as he is dying to know!

12 weeks to go and I'm still looking forward to the surprise

tigerpawprint · 29/01/2009 13:19

OMG KP! I would have lasted, like, 2 minutes before rrrrripping the envelope open!

Where have you put the envelope?!? Doesn't it tease you every day knowing the information it contains?! I cannot believe anyone can be so, so, disciplined! Are you a personal trainer?

Original poster

Phoenix · 29/01/2009 16:22

I wouldn't be able to resist opening that envelope and if by some crazy chance i did resist i would have to destroy it so i wasn't tempted

OP posts:

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread