Pregnant but my husband wants me to terminate baby so sad

[loganberry12]

Hi im 5 weeks pregnant. It was'nt planned although i havent used conraceptives for 2 years now i have polycystic overies so didnt think id fall pregnant as well as being 42 i thought my time was up for babies. I have 4 children already all grown up ages 24 to 13. I also have 2 grand children. We have been married for 2 years. When i told my husband he was angry and said id planned it and that if i keep the baby he will leave. my youngest son of 13 is his. He even said to me its probably not his !!I dont want a termination but i dont want my husband to leave either. He says we are on the bread line now and cant afford the baby which is true but i cant bear the thought of aborting. One minute im excited and happy the next depressed and confused.He isnt even talking to me much at the moment just sulking about. on top of that i feel so sick and very tired i cant remember feeling like this in the past pregnancys. I really dont know what to do so thought id post on here for some points of view

he sounds charming...

Go with your heart, consider your feelings after all its you that has to do it, not him. But sooner the better if you do, for all your sakes.

He doesnt sound like a nice guy, hope its just the stress more than the man!

Have been reading your posts, LB and also want to say congratulations on being pregnant - hope you can now enjoy it! Clearly your husband is using all his emotional blackmail weapons (news of grandchild will "finish off" his parents - oh, please), but agree you sound much more in control and, hopefully, becoming oblivious to his tantrums. Not convinced you need him (treats you badly, financially (and emotionally) selfish), but if he does stay / you let him stay think your relationship might be nicely tilted more your way. Again, congratulations and v happy to hear you are following your choice!

well im feeling really tearful today and just need a hug. Husband left yesterday after a row and a few home truths from me, say thats it and he's not coming back im heart broken really just wanted him to love me and support and be happy with me. Been off work today because my son isnt well i think it is stress really he heard the argument and didnt sleep much last night. Dreading going into work as we work in the same place which is small and we will bump into eachother most of the day. I just hope and can keep it together and not burst into tears at work which will be embarrasing.Im so emotional at the moment anyway with the pregnancy hormones. why is life so hard

{{{{{{{{{{{massive hug for you }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You are having a rough time of it.
I truly believe you are doing the right thing for you.
Having a child is a real blessing (and hard too of course) but you will never get over this if you let him bully your decision.
Good luck, and accept all the help you need from friends, family and mumsnetters. x

So sorry to hear that. I have been reading this thread and I do agree with the others who say you should not be bullied into anything. Hopefully your husband will come to his senses but if not I am sure you will cope.
Good luck.

I am sorry

He sounds almost to the letter like my ex. I kept the baby and told ex not to bother coming back, fwiw...however it's a bit harder for you as we weren't together that long.

Men who say stuff like that and behave so badly have real issues. There's nothing you could have done differently to make him sort himself out.

Well done for being sensible and assertive. I am proud of you xx

Loganberry (((big hug)))sorry to hear about your husband going.
I hope work is bearable tomorrow, do come an let off steal with the 40's mummies if you want to.

woops I mean steam!

I'm horrified by your husband's behaviour. First the unspeakable bullying and now walking out.

(((big hug))) to you and kudos to you for being so courageous.

Hi there just a quick up date. My husband returned the next day with his tail between his legs. He's since told his mum and dad about the baby and most of his mates. He is being loving and positive about the baby and smiling again. Although i dont think he atchally realises why i feel so ill and tired he even expected me to help him move our waldrobe full of clothes so he could do some painting, i told him i couldnt and he said why your only just pregnant surely it wont hurt! men they are so MEN i suppose. Any way things are looking up i guess

Congratulations, have been following your thread and I am pleased that you have got what you want ....men{exasperated emocion}!

Great news loganberry, hopefully its all just been because he was scared. Maybe a few of his mates have put a flea in his ear!

Now, you sit down, put your feet up and do bugger all. Tell him you've been so stressed out that he needs to look after you and make it up to you!

I'm so pleased for u Loganberry. Men are idiots sometimes! I'm kind of going through a similar situation with BF except the difference is that he does want the baby, just not sure if he wants me
My BF is also really thoughtless, I asked him if he could help me paint my hall and landing, he didn't understand why I wasn't so keen on climbing up a pair of ladders which are balanced on the stairs!!! Honestly, bloody men!! .
But at least it sounds like he's got his little 'outburst' out of his system now and hopefully you can put it behind you and look forward to the future

Sounds like once he realised it didn't matter how much he yelled and threatened you would not be bullied into obeying his unreasonable demands that he sat back, engaged his brain and actually thought about things! Kudos to you for standing up to him and I'm delighted to hear your news. Also very pleased for your dh that he's come to his senses and will be there for you all, taking part in the enjoyment of a new member of your family.

So pleased that things are looking up. Make sure you do relax.