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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is it normal during pregnancy to worry that your baby may be ugly?

52 replies

pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 21:23

I am only saying this as I had this discussion today with a pregnant friend and she agreed that although it is one of the most ridiculous things to think, it does cross her mind and I will admit that it has crossed mine during all 3 of my pregnancies. I think it is a fear of rejecting your child, a bit like animals do.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

schneebly · 12/12/2008 21:46

yes they are pgwithnumber3 We are not very attractive and still have gorgeous boys whereas you are very pretty so should have no problems! The pics of your DC on your profile are lovely - they look like you.

Original poster

pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 21:51

Thank you schneebly, I really need to update pics of DD2, she looks nothing like that now.

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LynetteScavo · 12/12/2008 21:57

I never worried my baby would be ugly.

I did worry the baby would have a severe disability or die.

As it turned out DS1 was a very handsom baby, DS2 was sort of OK looking, but I was glad he was a boy, and DD was quite ugly.(inface I thought she was so ugly I wouldn't let people take photos of her) I think part of the reason I took a long time to bond with her was because I found her ugly. Fortunately she is now very pretty, and I'm, amazed DH and I have such good looking DC's.

Original poster

pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 22:02

Lynette, my pregnancy with DD1 was awful, after 2 unsuccessful bouts of IVF(1 miscarriage) and trying for 5 years we finally conceived through Frozen Embryo Transfer, I have never felt such fear like I felt during those 9 months that I was going to lose my longly awaited beloved baby. I even called the hospital 2 weeks before she was born begging them to induce me because I couldn't take the worry any longer. . But I remember it still crossing my mind that I would find her ugly!

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uglybugly · 12/12/2008 22:06

Is it me or is this thread utterly pointless and a bit offensive? Or is it meant as a bit of a jest and I'm just not getting it?

All you women with healthy babies and your worry was about whether they were/ are good looking enough?

Why don't you have a look on the conceptions board and thank your lucky stars you've got babies to moan over when there are plenty of women who would give their right arm for a baby (good looking or not)

Original poster

pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 22:12

uglybugly, no offence intended whatsoever. I have been through infertility problems and believe you me, I wouldn't have cared if my DDs were born with 7 heads.

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Original poster

pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 22:14

More to do with wondering whether it is a natural thing to worry about (of course I know that any normal person doesn't give a flying fuck what their child looks like).

OP posts:

pania · 12/12/2008 22:22

I didn't worry about it, but I was a bit taken aback when on my 20 week scan ds looked exactly like Bart Simpson.

He doesn't though.

pania · 12/12/2008 22:22

I didn't worry about it, but I was a bit taken aback when on my 20 week scan ds looked exactly like Bart Simpson.

He doesn't though.

pania · 12/12/2008 22:23

oops

constancereader · 12/12/2008 22:27

uglybugly, it took me a very long time to have ds, I sadly lost my first son at 20 weeks and I still worried about everything to do with my pg including the fact that he might be ugly. I honestly don't think the op meant any offence.

MsG · 12/12/2008 22:43

I think it's perfectly normal to wonder what your child is going to look like - it's not the only thing you think about, obviously, but I am sure most people will think about it at some point. I don't think it's particularly shallow, either. I think if you have felt insecure about your own looks at times, like I have, then you might worry in case your child has similar fears.

I am sure none of us would put as our top priority that we wanted a good-looking child!

TheTwelveDAISYOfChristmas · 12/12/2008 22:45

Hey pgNo3 . I hope you are well.

As well as all the usual worries about the baby being healthy, I worried obsessively about this when pregnant with my DS. then I worried that because I was even shallow enough to think it, then he would be ugly as some sort of divine retribution. then when he was born and (obviously ) gorgeous, I worried that he was ugly but that I was the only one who couldn't see it. And it's not as if DH and I are supermodel material either.

then I realised that it didn't matter one jot.

similar thoughts with DD, but slightly less obsessive thankfully. and then with DS2 I thought surely we can't strike it lucky a third time, but lo and behold we did.....

......in our eyes at least

uglybugly, I don't think it's offensive at all; just someone voicing a concern and wondering if it's normal and It would seem by the number of replies that it is. And my DD came after two miscarriages and was desperately longed for, but I still had the same worries important and not so important worries that I'd had with DS1.

Original poster

pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 22:51

DAISY - I am well, thank you, how are you and how is your lovely DS? Is 3 hard?

I knew some people would think I meant it in a shallow way, believe me, I am far from shallow where thanking my lucky stars are concerned, I certainly know I am blessed to be having a third child, especially after struggling to conceive and with each baby, my first worry has been just to give birth and for us all to be okay.

It is the same as the worry you feel when you have your second, you cannot imagine loving them the same as your first. All very daft thoughts but nonetheless, they pop into your head every now and then.

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TheTwelveDAISYOfChristmas · 13/12/2008 10:05

It's not been too hard so far, but DH is starting a new job so has been on holidays/paternity leave for the last six weeks, in lieu of working his notice, so he's been doing all the house stuff and leaving me to sit and feed DS2. He starts his new job on Monday though so I may have a different take on it by the end of next week

DS2 is lovely......but a big boy, plus 12lbs already. There are some photos on my profile.

When are you due? It must be getting close now?

Original poster

pgwithnumber3 · 13/12/2008 10:24

Unfortunately I think life may get that little bit harder when you lose your extra set of hands! How nice for him to have been off to bond with his boy though.

I have just over 7 weeks to go, I am starting to feel it now. Luckily though, I am not carrying a whacking huge bump and that makes it easier. Although DD2 was 8lb 8oz so this one may be nearer 9lb, who knows? Had a lie in this morning (first since I have been pg) until 9am so that was nice.

Just had a look at your profile, he is beautiful. I am sure any worries you had about ugliness have evaporated!

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treedelivery · 13/12/2008 13:23

I wondered!!

When she was born my first words 'Oh she looks just like me' No great thing but essentially normal I suppose.

At about 24 hours she looked like a patchy squashed ape! She had a really heavy brow, furious furious frown, puckered lips and orange hair stuck straight up and looked totally pissed off. I have the pictures to prove it and whilst I thought she was the most amazing thing in the world, I do remember whispering to my mum 'd'you think she'll always look like this?' Mum just grimaced!!

Am laughing head off now thinking back to it. Still think she is a delight to look at.

NotanOtter · 13/12/2008 18:01

tree delivery we need pictures

treedelivery · 13/12/2008 18:47

Will supply!!

treedelivery · 13/12/2008 19:09

have supplied!

bookthief · 13/12/2008 21:12

Aww treedelivery she's lovely! She does look a little flustered but I reckon she had cause given what she'd just been through..

treedelivery · 13/12/2008 21:22

Flustered!! lol. Thats ace, it was replaced by a 'mood'. Bless her boots she was as good as gold really. Am expecting dd2 arriving Jan to look just the same.

sorkycake · 13/12/2008 21:29

I can categorically say I have never given any thought as to whether my baby would be ugly.

There are so much more pressing things to worry about if you're going to worry at all.

MrsTittleMouse · 13/12/2008 21:30

I worried about it too. To be fair, I think that it's perhaps understandable for me to worry, as I've had to have hours of surgery on my face.
Both DDs look like me, and I think that they both look absolutely wonderful. I still keep my fingers crossed that they won't need surgery though. My poor parents watching me go down to surgery and waiting for the call that I had come around from the GA...

xxhunnyxx · 16/12/2008 17:23

Sorry I'm a little late joining in on this convo but yes I do worry that my child will be ugly. Me and bf are reasonably good looking people but we both have big noses, it does worry me that our big noses will double up and our baby will have a HUGE nose!! I know it is rediculous and I will love my child regardless of what it looks like but I would love for my child to be gorgeous.

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