3 children of same sex, pregnant again and absoultly DREADING other peoples reactions and comments

[thsaintabuffet]

friends have already started on the comments, I have only told close friends and family but already they are giving me the comments 'oooh might be a.... oh I bet you are hoping for a ..... oh my goodness 3.... is a lot to go through in order to get a .....'
It makes me so so sad, of course I'd love the other but I can't chose and I will love the baby the same as the others whatever it is. so many people are dissapointed on my behalf, with my third child I was told it was a shame by one 'friend'.
I really want people who say these things to understand that it is hurtful, but how?

Gosh reading the responses on the topic of people commenting about your pregnancy is quite scary. I mean a lot of people have asked me if I wanted a boy or a girl and if I was happy with what the sonographer said. I've had the as long as they're healthy it doesn't matter as well (and I would love them the same if they were not), the thing is I think it's an awful shame that what can b a genuine interest and meant with the nicest intentions can be misconstrued as nastiness. Having said that I do believe that calling your baby a 'shame' is ridiculous and in no way neccessary as are the 'you/your dh must b disapointed' remarks. The was it planned question I can see why that annoys people but again thats not a question that most people would ask with intent on offense. My pregnancy hormones have actually recently caused me to voice my annoyance about someones behaviour and it really hurt them that they had got to me, and it wound up really upsetting me for being so anal and harsh and to be honest I couldn't appologise enough as I knew that persons intentions were not bad in the slightest. I think you should be careful around the people you know aren't deliberately upsetting you but by all means the 'shame' and 'disopointed' comments you could probably deal with hurting some feelings to stop. Sometimes things just come out tho just think of the times we all say something (ok most not to tht level) that for days after plays on our minds about whether or not you should call and explain what you meant in case it was taken wrongly.

we had a DS then our DD, and the amount of comments we got when I was pg with our 3rd was silly - mainly "but you have got one of each already" - I used to reply but this time we are hoping for a puppy - I guess I should have been upset as we got a beautiful DS

The worse thing about these comments is the implication that you somehow had a choice in the matter!

it makes you want to say 'you're so right, perhaps I should have an abortion and try again.' Then burst into tears. That would shut them up. Would however be a bit over the top. But these comments drive me mad! Currently pg with DD, have DS. My mum is desperate to know the sex but haven't told her yet. Basically, she will be gutted if it's another boy so am deliberately keeping schtum ...

actually lovemuch you're right about it being better to keep quiet; people mean well and they genuinely don't mean to be saying something inappropriate, they just don't know what to say. It's like the un-asked for bump patters..

I had a boy and then a girl and people couldn't understand why I was having another as I already had both sexes. When people asked me what I was hoping for I said a baby.

Just ignore stupid people. They say these things as they think it is accepted. It isn't. You are pregnant as you want a baby. The sex is pretty irrelevant.

I have a small gap between my boys and was constantly asked if the second was planned. I used to rspond "The baby is wanted"

Also when people asked "do you know what you are having?" _ I would anser a baby or if I was particulary peed off with them "a puppy" and walk away

To be blessed with a child - any child is wonderful

This has made me laugh, I have 2 dd's and are pregnant with dc3. Don't think we'll find out what we're having, but even if we do will keep it to ourselves, otherwise what will people talk about
I'm preparing for the inevitable 'trying for a boy' comments, but having had 2 m/c between dd2 and this pregnancy, they had better be careful of my hormones or I may say what I'm actually thinking

Hi, just take no notice of the silly sods who think its their right to comment on such personal things in other people's lives.

DH and I also have to endure such pathetic comments, and it makes you absolutely nuts after a while, doesn't it! aarrgghhh!

We have 7 dc - 4 dd and 3 ds, so you can imagine what they'r saying now - have to have another dc now, a boy of course, so we'll have 4 of each then!! aarrgghhhhhh I never realised there were so many people with very little between their ears!

DH and I now tell them with a stern voice and totally pissed-off facial expression 'Well, we can't order them from Tesco Home Delivery, you know, so that means that we accept and love whatever sex child we are given!!' Soon shuts them up, cos hopefully it makes them realise how stupid and totally un-called for their comments are!!

I have 3 sons and am pg with number 4 and have just found out that its probably a boy. What I'm finding hard is all the jibes about boys, they're such hard work, girls are much easier, you'll be demented with FOUR boys etc etc. My boys are lovely. Generally speaking, the girls we do know of the same age as my boys seem to be far more clingy and demanding than my lot. I would never dream of saying this to their parents yet they think nothing of saying boys are such hard work even though they don't have them and are constantly interrupted by their little girls every time they try to talk!! I know not all little girls are like this but my boys behave well and I'm tired of this assumption that they must drive me mad!!!