Still pregnant but thinking about nurseries -- is it ever worth paying through the nose for a baby?

[Boobz]

I am looking at nurseries as there are crazy long waiting lists where I live in south London and I want to make sure I don't get caught out.

My husband and I took the day off work today and looked at 6 nurseries ranging from £30 a day to £60 a day. I have 6 months maternity leave and we have to both work to pay the mortgage and bills, so the baby will go to nursery for 3 days a week.

So here's the rub. I have fallen in love with the expensive nursery because I loved the people there, the building, the beautiful garden with organic veggie patch and animal "farm" (rabbits, guinea pigs etc), the cleanliness and over all "feel". However, I am sure that my baby would be safe, warm, loved, well fed and regularly changed at the cheapest nursery. Is it worth paying double for a baby to go a nursery which I like better because it's less rough around the edges and more in keeping with how I would order my own home (and nursery should I ever run one!) or is a 6 month old going to mostly be eating and sleeping and thus it really doesn't matter how clean and tidy and pretty things are? We are due to go abroad with DH's job about 10 months after the baby joins the nursery, so it's not for a very long time.

The difference in price is £5,400 vs £10,800. That's a lot. Should we save the £5,400 and have better toys/holidays/weekends away with the kid or invest it in the best nursery around here which my heart tells me is the right one? Is the baby too yound to notice the difference?

What do you do / would you do? Apologies for posting this here -- not sure if it's better here or in parenting boards (are they used as much as over here?)

Thanks!

I did have a look at nannies a bit (on gumtree) a few weeks ago, as I work from home and thought in my naiveity (sp?) that I could have a nanny come a few hours every day to take the baby off my hands so I could work, and she could do a bit of house work at the same time, and that would be better than a nursery. However it appeared that they were about £10 an hour and weren't keen on housework and obviously the babe wouldn't get interaction with other kids. So I thought nannies were a no go after that - esp as they weren't cheaper. Hmmm.

I haven't started ante natal classes yet and haven't got involved with NCT. I have got a group of about 10 mums or mums to be who I meet up with every other week (all found on MN) which I'm using as an alternative to the NCT meet ups, but maybe I should do NCT as well? Isn't it £300 or something?

Will start to look into childminding and see where that gets me. I have registered with the 2 nurseries I like from my trip yesterday so that we are on their list at least, should be decide that's the way to go.

Thanks for everyone's help and comments. It is all a bit tricky for first timers eh? Still leaning towards lovely expensive nursery on road next to mine less than 3 mins walk away though....

x

i think you are doing brilliantly

i must say the 3 min walk would pretty much swing it for me too

I don't know how much it costs to join the NCT but you don't need to be a member to join the coffee mornings. I think we just paid 50p a time or something.

you don't pay anything for the coffee mornings round our way, it is just a social thing but run by the NCT co-ordinators. I guess it depends on the area.

sounds like you don't have any actual concerns about the cheaper one - if you trust them why not save the 5K. double the price for bunnies is not on!

that said, if you have any - real - niggles about the cheaper one don't do it. i work 2 days a week with an 8 month old - we have an excellent care situation but if I had any concerns they would drive me crazy

The concerns with the cheaper one are: further away (15 - 20 mins walk with stairs involved vs. 3 mins door to door); the staff seemed very caring but not as fabulous as the other nursery; not as many great facilities and outside space; an ok kitchen and menu but not as good as the other one, and I would always think to myself "why oh why didn't I just fork out the extra cash and do what my heart said?"

HOWEVER. We have looked at the sums and it's actually not a cheap as chips option as we thought it was. Expensive nursery is £60 per day and cheaper one is £50 per day, saving "only" £150 a month, or £1800 a year. Does that change things?

Well then go for the expensive nursery you like.

I am gobsmacked by how expensive your nurseries are. Went to look at one which is a £35 a day for a baby.

That does change things. Avoiding travel would be worth 10 a day for me.

Really Tired - where is your nursery?

I had the opposite situation to you - cheap nursery is near and pricier one further away. I was less keen on the cheap one and I decided nothing was too good for my PFB and sent him to the one that was further. It was great at first but after 4 months (a long time in a baby's life), his key carer left (she'd been there for years so totally unexpected) and it just all went to pot after that.

My DS is now with a childminder and is blissfully happy. But when I first went back to work I didn't trust my instincts enough to send him to a CM (if that makes sense) but now I know what I'm looking for from care (and am less swayed by things like petting zoos ) I know it's the best solution for both of us. My CM is much more flexible than the nursery (will let me drop him off early/pick him up late/have him extra days if I need it) and he adores her. Downside is that she takes 4 weeks holiday a year so I have to sort something out for those times.

And just to tidy up the ends of my story, my neighbour's DS went to the cheap nursery and is still there and very happy!

So there you go! Is there any chance you could hang around in the evening 5.30ish outside either of the nurseries you're considering and collar a parent with a young child? Getting the parents' perspective can be quite useful.

Good luck

its hard. imo, ewe is right. 5 minutes walk is a clincher in your situation. gives you more time with baby, less time slogging pram around.

fly in ointment of plans. also depends on baby temprement i kid you not. had fine place for ds1 all sorted. gave birth to one of those highly sensitive sorts. 3 years and much work and encouragement later, have finaly got to stage where he enjoys a good care setting. as a baby, he just shut down. had to get a slow, quiet, sweet nanny until i quit work!

Maybe the child minder option is the way to go then - but presumably I shouldn't start looking now as it's a long way off yet (Sept next year) from which I will need care? Oh it's all so confusing. I wish my husband would just be a SAHD and be done with it! xx

Boobz I'm back to work in September 2009, but I've been told to start checking out childminders asap. I'm on maternity leave in a fortnight, and will start visiting then. You're not guaranteed a place this early, but I don't think it hurts to see what's on offer. Plus, I've heard of some highly recommended childminders who do operate a waiting list. Good luck. It's hard work sorting all of these things out! Agree with SAHD option. If only the mortgage would sort itself out!!

I am not saying which nursery I think is fanastic. Otherwise all the mumsnetter in the area would send their kids there and my bump will not get a place.

But seriously if go somewhere like Luton there are quite a lot of good quality and cheap nurseries. The housing is a lot cheaper so I suppose the that the cost of renting premises and the amount you have to pay good staff is less.

The only snag ofcourse is whether you actually want to live in Luton!

if you'd asked me this wheni was lookin for nurseries i would have said, they all have the same regulations, watever the cost, the baby will be wll looked after. but now after moving my son from a really expensive nursery that i put him in cause it had a posh name and id heard its name quite often to a far cheaper one that felt right from the moment i met the owner and still does to this day 18 months later, i will be brutally honest and tell you that you will regret nothing more than chossing the wrong childcare for your child. the final straw from expensive creche came when i collected him one day to discover his nappy hadnt been changed the whole day. i was told this was an oversight. the guilt i still feel over choosing that creche for its name and certificates, not based on my gut feeling is tremendous. i know its not the question your asking, your asking about finances, but what i would say is, YOU know yourself how you want YOUR child to be cared for, and the place that is right will FEEL right, its then up to you to decide wether the cost is something you value more than that. good luck because its not an easy one.

I thinki you have to go with gut instinct and what works for you - if the difference is £50 to £60 only I would go with the more expensive one if it really does feel better. And don't underestimate the importance of conevenience too with it being closer, though I don't think the other one is very far away either - I have to drive 30 mins to get to ours!

My ds1 (PFB) initially went to the closest and cheapest nursery near us in Surrey and at the time it was £35 compared to £50 ish for all the rest. It was not very good and we moved him to a further one which is £51 per day. Ds2 is also there now. Unless money is extremely tight I would try and go with gut instinct and rule out the cost difference. The bells and whistles like veggie garden, animals don't matter (esp for a baby) but whetehr there is a happy, safe environment, caring, mature staff, low turnover etc does. I agonised over this stuff and one thing I will say is that, amongst the good ones (which will all be about the same price), there is not much difference, but if you send your child to a bad one inadvertently you will be traumatised. And the suspiciously cheap ones are like that for a reason in my experience.

I have to say that, esp in recent years, i have found the ofsted reports to be very accurate - I would not consider sending my children to anything less than a good overall.

Good luck, chill, you have plenty of time, they try and scare you with waitiing lists etc but when it comes to it, they want your money, trust me

If you put your baby into nursery for 3 days every single week- top whack is £9360 and bottom £4680. But say you/DH get 30 days leave a year, minus that from your calculation, because you are unlikely to put the baby into nursery when you are on leave. So the fugures become slightly more palatable. Are you able to spend the morning at the nurseries to observe? that might make you decision feel more informed.

Thanks for all your helpful advice - I really appreciate it. I have decided to go with my gut instinct and go for the more expensive one. The acid test was my husband, who is much less affected by little things like decorating and pretty gardens, STILL thinks the expensive one is better (nicer staff / closer to home / better outside space and a better "feel" over all) and if he thinks it's the right place for the babe then I am totally convinced we should go with our hearts. It is only for a year or so before we go abroad with his job anyway, so it won't break the bank.

Thanks everyone!

xx

Glad you have made your choice Boobz.

I would recommend you visit again once lo arrives to check you still feel the same. Good Luck

Boobz, sorry to bring up old thread, but my children went to the more expensive one that you mention and they LOVED it - it really is the most amazing nursery, the staff are brilliant and the owners are lovely. You are also very lucky to get in it now, as they are so booked up.