But what do you do when maternity leave starts...???

[tostaky]

Last week at work and im worried i'll be bored at home all day, waiting for the baby and then bored at home with a screaming baby..

so what do you do... tell me a typical day?

goodness me pg hormones are obviously rife today in me - this thread made me cry - remembering life pre ds - not that i'd swap it at all, but just remembering how easy things used to be - cinema, books etc etc. this time round, am not quite dreading going on mat leave cause i love being with ds but i just think back to mat leave and how different it will be this time - so enjoy every minute of having some you time - it wont come again for a long time (but its still great to have a lo too).

I was really bored and got quite depressed while on maternity leave. I was too big to do anything, my ankles were too swollen to walk anywhere so I sat and ate cookies and watched tele - Wishing I hadnt now!!

In the end dp took me to Hobbycraft and I bought a pink Forever Friends cross stitch to do. I normally hate things like that and will laugh at people who do it but it was really enjoyable. I stitched my dd's name into it when she was born and it now hangs in her bedroom x

Ps - Once dd was born it was like she had always been here. You probably wont be bored and will love every minute of it x

Just do whatever you feel like doing when you feel like doing it because you won't get that chance again for a long time. Yes, babies do sleep quite a bit but rarely in very long stretches so it's hard to get much done and it's a shock to be constantly woken up (imagine your alarm clock going off frequently & randomly when are asleep at night and snoozing during the day). Sadly you can't "bank" sleep but you can enjoy your last fews weeks of uninterrupted sleep while you still have the chance.

Sleep
Sleep
Sleep
Practice eating 1 handed
Did I mention sleep?

I didn't do much before ds came because I didn't feel well, read a couple of books that I'd been saving up.

If you get bored of being in the house once baby's here, find out about the local mum and baby drop ins, contact your NCT and see if they gather for coffee etc.

I really look back on the 5 weeks maternity leave I had before DS was born - it was a magical time of me just doing what I wanted to do, shopping, relaxing, watching a lot of baby programmes etc etc etc.

Like Laura, I also did a Winnie the Pooh cross stitch which I had very nearly finished when I went into labour - DS is now 2.3 and it is still not finished

Am now starting my second maternity leave after this week and am looking forward to it as DS will still be going to nursery 4 days a week initially so I can relive the first time round.

Enjoy

I finished my cross stitch with dd asleep on my chest - Not easy but I did it!!

One other thing I did and had forgotten I did it was have long bubble baths in the afternoon just because I could!! I miss those

"why is it difficult to read with a newborn? Surely when he sleeps or eats (bf) you can read? "

Heh. Of course. But your mind goes into overdrive and when they are very new you have to go and look at them twenty times a minute to check they are still breathing. Once that calms down a bit, after a few weeks, you feel 'on duty' all the time when they are asleep and so are on top alert. Plus, you need to eat actual food that you have to cook and you need to do it ALL THE TIME if you are breastfeeding so a 45 minute nap tends to be taken up largely with feeding yourself (unless you are willing to live on biscuits which is a fairly enjoyable option if not v nutritious). 20 hours a day is great if they do it, but often, they find they can't get to sleep without your help so you spend large parts of each day helping them get to sleep. Then they sleep for half an hour and you feed them and it starts all over again. Sometimes they won't sleep unless they are in physical contact with you so although they are asleep, you can't do anything v useful as cooking seems too hazardous and reading makes you worry that the pages turning will wake your baby up. And waking your baby up suddenly seems like the worst thing you could do in the world.

I used to read out loud to my baby, whatever I was reading at the time. It at least allowed me to get a page or two in before she got bored.

I would highly recommend a pedicure as a pre-baby activity. You won't have the time for any of that stuff for months.

I went swimming (well bobbing in the water), it was so nice to be weightless for a change, shopping (traipsing round a few shops then chilling in a coffee shop for an hour) cinema - I went a few times and really enjoyed it as it was quiet during the day.

My budget wouldn't stretch to beauty treatments but it was something I'd love to have done, I managed a trip to the hairdressers though.

The biggest extravagence was going back to bed at 2pm for an afternoon nap - mmm heavenly.

oh god I am off on maternity leave in 2 weeks and can't wait!! 2nd time around for me...

I plan to:

Sleep
Cook meals for after the birth
Sleep some more
Read
Sleep yet more
Read a bit more
Get my hair cut
Shop by myself without a toddler hanging off my arm
Sleep a bit more
Buy some nice clothes to wear after the birth
Er... did I mention sleep?

After the birth you will do nothing but feed and watch daytime TV so essentially anything other than that that you might want to get accomplished needs to be done before the birth!

most importantly - can't believe I forgot this - relish being ON YOUR OWN. It's probably the last time you'll be able to enjoy your own company for, oo, about 12 years.

Go to the loo... on your own.
Take a bath... on your own.
Go for a walk... on your own.
Read a book... on your own.
Have a coffee... on your own.

For added effect get your DH to scrabble at the bathroom door shouting "mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy" for about an hour, then stop. And relish the silence!

ok i think i got the message!
i don't have a TV though!

radio 4 is a great breast-feeding companion.

FWIW I did do a lot of reading in the first few weeks after DS was born, but only old favourites. I couldn't get my sleep-deprived brain round anything more complicated, and you only tend to get 10 minute snatches anyway.

I had my first baby 5 weeks ago today and it's been fab! The one thing I'd say is that (assuming it's your first) no matter how much you read posts about doing nothing, enjoying own time, listening to silence on mat leave etc etc (all good advice I might add), until the baby actually comes, you will never comprehend truly what it means (perfectly normal - how can you until baby comes?), so I'd just do whatever you please. Even if you manage to sleep and sleep, you will still feel sleep deprived when the baby comes so don't worry about it!

I found lots of mums told me horror stories prior to the birth but don't let that worry you as when it's your baby and your story, it's more manageable.
And don't think you can't do stuff on your own again. Assuming you have DP/DH, they can look after baby while you have bubble bath, read a magazine etc. 7 days post birth I fed DD, changed her, handed her to DP and buggered off for a bath with Heat magazine. I've also been for an indian head massage while DP waited with DD in car outside - 30 mins and so fab.

Sorry for long post - just saying that while there will be days when all you manage to do is get dressed about the time DP comes home from work cos baby has not settled all day, there WILL also be days when baby is angel/sleeps/DP looks after etc and you can do some stuff yourself. Most importantly - hard work but my god, having a baby is the best thing I have ever done in my life!! Enjoy and best wishes

Ooh, what would I do if I could do it again... definitely plenty of sleeping, reading, and so on but also going out for meals/to the pub (even if you can't drink!)/to the cinema/big shopping sessions/evening visits to friends and all the other places you can't so easily go afterwards. It is a bit of a shock when you realise just how tied to the house you are in the evenings once baby is in bed - of course you can still go out separately but very rarely as a couple unless you have grandparents or someone living near to babysit!
I also did lots of jobs and work on the house (as we had lots of decorating to do) but still wish I had done more as that is really hard to do now - any little fixing/DIY jobs you have, paperwork/financial stuff, painting, gardening - OK some of it is hard to do with a bump but might be even harder later! If you do get really bored, it might also be a good idea to do a big clearout, that will also make life easier for you when your LO gets to the crawling/walking stage and you need to childproof the house. We still have drawers and cupboards full of not very baby-friendly clutter and I'm struggling to find time to sort them out! Just make sure you don't throw out things you will later regret due to funny pregnancy hormones

Thing I found hardest was getting my head around the fact that my new job was looking after a baby - not cleaning the house, finishing the decorating and doing the million and one other things that i would love to do... I had NO idea how much time looking after a baby takes and felt guilty that I wasn't being a domestic goddess as I was at home all day. (DH oftern still comes home to a pile of washing up!)

Pre-baby Mat leave (god I miss that!)... did lots of sleeping and lying in bed watching telly, sorted out all my baby stuff - washed clothes, hospital bag etc (top tip - do everything you can think of that you need to do before baby arrives... I didn't and then getting a cot for when she outgrew her moses basket etc was a complete mission), had reflexology once a week (and I swear that induced labour in the end), window shopped... and a lot of not very much - you can finally give in to how tired you are at the end of your third trimester!

If i were to do it all again I would be a lot more relaxed about letting other people look after dd in the early days - yes she needs you for breastfeeding but not alot else - dh/parents/inlaws etc can cuddle her, watch her sleep, change nappies and I wish I had let myself just relax and lie in bed and catnap and heal for the first couple of weeks when she slept alot. I didn't realise how quickly that phase would pass. If your dh/dp has paternity leave take the opportunity to let him look after the baby so you can sleep. You'll be on your own with baby soon enough!

As for being bored with a newborn - I was. It's only getting better now she is mobile and can self-entertain a little (6.5 months and crawling). I took her out for walks in her sling loads and as soon as I could I signed up for every mom and baby class I could think of! NCT coffees were also a lifesaver. At the end of the day you have to find something to enjoy in each phase as it really does fly by.

Don't mean to sound negative about it - love being a mum but it's not what I expected!!

sorry for long post!

Oh and I remembered another one - enjoy plenty of HOT cups of tea and coffee, and HOT meals as they may be your last for a while! OK am partly kidding but in the first few weeks it seemed like I never managed either, as whenever we were about to eat, DS would want something; and you can't drink hot drinks while holding or feeding them. So was always finding things had gone cold before I had a chance to eat/drink them!

Mmmm this is my third maternity leave and each time I have mostly:

Sat and read paper, eaten cake and drank tea for an hour in the morning.

Actually made the beds, tidied the bedrooms etc each day.

Done about a years worth of photo albums.

Had LOADS of bubble baths with and without dds.

I am due on Saturday so the tiredness has gone about a week ago replaced with nervous energy so not getting to bed before midnight, but now I am READY for the baby.

I was admitted to hospital for 3 days in the week I had off before DD arrived. It was soooooooooooo boring.

But definitely sleep and chill out. Yes, lovely long baths!

And cooking lots of food and whacking them in the freezer is also a good one if you can be bothered. In the first few weeks we just couldn't have functioned sufficiently to order a takeaway or buy a ready made meal.

Whatever you do, just enjoy it!

Gosh - lots of memories flooding back of how life was on our OWN!
I had 3 weeks leave planned 1st time around - baby came 2 weeks early. Nothing prepared me for the shock of how tired I would be and how everything seemed to take an age.... I distinctly remember still being in my pj top but managing to have got a pair of trousers on by about 2pm in the afternoon and thought I had done well!!

2nd time around wondered what I had made such a fuss about and was out shopping in town by day 6.

So sleep when you can is definatley the best advice.

My blinking waters broke in spectacular fashion on the first day of my mat leave, and I had to be promptly induced. I STILL feel cheated that I didn't get those three weeks of reading, sleeping, bath, reading, sleeping, crap telly, bath, chocolate... i will NEVER have that chance again!

thought of something else, choose a series on dvd that you want to watch, there will be naff all on tv at two in the morning when you are up with LO in first few weeks. something with shortish episodes, you wont be able to concentrate on 3 hour epics.

I would follow all of the above advice - unfortunately this time I only did the sleep thing.

DD2 is now 3wks old and I wish I had cooked more freezer meals beforehand - am living on toast, breakfast cereal and things that you can eat one-handed and still taste okay cold!!!

As for reading, my induced labour was so quick that I still have unread Marie Claire & Q magazines that I took to hospital with me. Have beeen too shattered/fuzzy/busy/all-of-the-above to even attempt them.

Staring glassy-eyed at Jeremy Kyle is about my limit at the mo

I did nothing on mat leave before DS born, as DS born on Sunday, Mat Leave due to start the next day.

In the last few weeks of pg though I am glad I managed to -

• Stock up freezer and store cupboards
• Go swimming and to Aquanatal classes (I love being in water and hate being unfit)
• Sleep (although I can't "stock up" on sleep, could only sleep when tired and was surprisingly untired.)
• Read
• Meet health visitor
• Record a load of rubbish TV for the long hours of feeding
• Join local NCT classes and met lots of new "Mummy" friends due around the same time

I would also have liked to

• Get my hair done
• Visit nurseries
• Sort out old photos into albums
• Finish decorating DS's room
• Sort out finances