DH has mild haemophilia, if we have a girl, she could be affected, would you find out sex of baby? I really don't want to.

[MinkyBorage]

OK, that sounds like a bit of a no-brainer. A bit more detail. DH has very mild haemophilia, which we only found out about quite recently, we already have two dds, both of whom could be affected, but we won't know until they have proper tests (when a bit older) and neither show signs now. If we find out that we are having a girl, then the haemophilia centre will write a letter to the midwife/consultant regarding the delivery stating that forceps should not be used because the baby may have mild haemophilia. However, with my last two deliveries, they came out so quickly, two pushes first time, one the next, I feel sure that it is extremely unlikely that forceps will even be a consideration, and in the event that they are, surely I could say no to them even if we don't know what we are having.
I just don't want to find out what sex the baby is, it's the best surprise ever when they're born.
What would you do?

Lazy, just punch her and find out if she's heamophiliac!

MinkyBorage, if you were looking for advice from people who would know enough about the condition to not think "Hang on, isn't it only boys who get this?" you should either have given a brief explanation that pointed out that you know this but that your situation is one of the rare exceptions or you should have looked elsewhere for your advice.

Your rudeness to Bubbaluv is unjustified.

I understand there is SOME risk for the girls, but why are the boys safe?

*Yes, boys are more likely to be severely affected than girls because they only have one copy of the gene because they only have one X chromosome, so no 'compensating' normal copy of the gene.

*She's more worried about girls because it is her husband who has the faulty gene, not her. A boy will inherit a normal gene from her husband, a girl will inherit the faulty gene.

*The info on the web is over-simplyfying things.

Post below was to you DAisy S.
Is Minky's case v rare and different to normal?

Sorry, sorry a boy won't inherit a normal gene from her husband - it won't inherit one from him AT ALL because it gets the Y chromosome from dad.

Teach me to try and MN and cook at the same time!

But hand on, isn't it pretty much always the case that boys inherit the disease from thier father? I thought if the father had it then it was pretty much a given that any male offspring would have it? Why would Minky's case be different?

NO! Boys inherit it from their mothers NOT their fathers.

Bubbaluv

• It is perfectly true that boys are more at risk than girls, and, there are far more boys with Haemophilia than girls, and it is likely that girls will have mailder versions of it than boys
• Because Haemophilia only affects the X chromosome, and since it is my Husband who is affected, he will be giving an unaffected Y chromosome to a boy, but an affected X chromosome to a girl. If I was a carrier, than a boy would be at risk because I would give the boy my X chromosome.
• Because of the first point, girls aren't as severely affected as boys. It is funny though, I'm not sure why it is that it is believed that girls can't have it.

I am delighted to answer your questions, and they are not remotely irritating.
It is the fact that I was having to explain that I was not confused, but very well informed which was annoying me. Sorry, shouldn't have done. No excuse.

How is it passed through generations of men then?

Now stir.

Boys are going to inherit her DH's Y chromosone, girls will have to inherit the affected X.
The biology 'O' level explanations on the web are unable to go into gene masking.
It will be her daughters who will have the unpredictability in passing on the gene.

lol at Lazy punching me, wouldn't blame her, and promise I won't punch back, I deserve it!

Ahh, from their mothers! That was my stumbling block!

If it were me, I would simply put on birth plan "risk of haemophilia, do not use forceps" and undertake the precautions without finding out sex.

Apart from anything else, if you do find out you're having a girl and it's on your notes, you will have to explain all this stuff to at least half the medical professionals you come into contact with who will think you've got it arse about face because they're not up to speed with the (recently discovered?) intricacies of it all.

Not finding out sex could be an advantage to you. If challenged you could always claim the u/s was inconclusive.

It ISN'T passed through generations of men but through women to their sons.

In answer to your original question, you could say that you don't want to be told the sex.

Now I can answer the OP!

I would find out.
I would anyway, but in your case it would be something I would want to be really ready for in advance.
I would also be tested myself to see if I was a carrier. I'm into full disclosure!

However, I'm sure your doctors will be totally prepared for all eventualities so really it's not likely to make much difference, so if you'd rather a surprise then don't feel pressured.

Mrsgboring, Thank you thank you! I can not bear to go through this with any medical pros, it would be a nightmare. I shall do exactly what you say. The perfect excuse not to find out the sex. I'm delighted by your rationality! Thanks.

Everyone else, I'm not going to make excuses, but I accept I've been a bit of a twunt over this so sorry to everyone I've offended.

.. and when I said I was very well informed, I meant I am well informed, DaisySteiner is very well informed!

Yep, MrsBoring is spot on.

You could always print out this thread and hand it out to the medical staff!

Mrs Borage I mean!! Sorry!

I need food.