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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone taken their DC (S) to their 20 weeks scan?

40 replies

McDreamy · 30/09/2008 15:13

DD has an appointment half an hour before my scan at the same hospital on Monday so she will be attending my scan with me (and DH). I don't think it will be a problem but just wondering if anyone else has done this.

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AlbertaWildRose · 30/09/2008 15:22

I didn't have a 20-week scan, but took DS (2 years old) to 12-week scan and it was absolutely fine. He loved seeing the baby on the 'compooter'.

Original poster

McDreamy · 30/09/2008 15:24

DD is 5 and very excited about the baby. Her project at school is "how we grow" so quite appropriate timing. I have told her she can take the picture into school with her when I take her back!

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cmotdibbler · 30/09/2008 15:27

I hate to put a downer on things, but what if they find a problem with the baby ?

I don't think that a scan is the place for siblings for this reason. But I did have a very bad outcome from a routine 12 week scan.

AlbertaWildRose · 30/09/2008 15:27

I'm sure it'll be fine then. At 5 she's old enough to understand what she's looking at, and at 20 weeks it will really look like a baby, as opposed to the 'I think I see it' 12-week scan image.

scoopmuckanddizzy · 30/09/2008 15:28

Had my 20 week scan last week and took dd 3.

She loved it, the baby was waving his arm about and the sonographer gave her her own scan picture.

She talks about it all the time and loves showing people the picture of her baby brother.

sadminster · 30/09/2008 15:30

I would think very, very carefully about this. The purpose of the 20 week scan isn't to get a look at the baby, but to diagnose potentially very serious abnormalities if they are present.

amner · 30/09/2008 15:33

I have to agree with cmot on this too.

Can your DH or someone else look after her whilst you being scanned, and then they can can come back in afterwards when everything is being explained? You might need a backup especially if the appointments are running late.

Its incredibly rare for things to go wrong... but unfortunately I do know somebody who wasn't so lucky.

JacobsPrincess · 30/09/2008 15:36

We took DS1 to the scan for DS2. He loved to see the baby, but we did have to keep him quiet so the sonographer could get on with the real business of the scan - checking the health of baby.

Tapster · 30/09/2008 15:39

Unless they are private appointments don't see how you can get to your DD's appointment before your 20 week scan - NHS always running late and often very late.

pagwatch · 30/09/2008 15:40

we took DS1 with us
He was 10. We had already had 12 week scan and he wanted to be there.
As his brother has ASD he had been a bit apprehensive about the whole thing but was ( actually sadly) very grown up and really neded to be fully involved - esp if there were likely to be problems.

It was a very difficult decision but we weighed what he wanted and all was fine.
He was very cheeky though and asked sex. And Nurse told him
fortuntely we were pretty happy and therefore not too cross about it

Original poster

McDreamy · 30/09/2008 15:40

It's not private but not NHS either, we will be there on time I have every confidence I just don't have the time to get DD anywhere else!!

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BigTeuchLittleTeuch · 30/09/2008 15:49

We took our toddler (2.6) with us with no problems. In fact, he was at my 9wk and 12wk as well.

Without being too flippant, I am sure everything will be fine and therefore she will enjoy the experience, but should anything be amiss, then she is old enough to understand a brief explanation.

Hope it all goes swimmingly, you run to time and get a great picture of baby!

TheInvisibleHand · 30/09/2008 16:06

I did take DD(she was about 14 months), as we had no alternative on the day if DH was also going to be there. Not ideal, but fine. She did start yelling "me" at the sight of the baby on screen ...

tellyaddict · 30/09/2008 16:09

I took my Ds1 to ds2 scan when he was 20 months. I took ds1&2 to ds3 scan, they were 10 and 8. We had decided beforehand that if anything were amiss, then they were old enough to sit in the waiting room whilst we spoke with sonographer, doctor etc. Fortunately all was well and the experience really helped my older boys bond with the baby before he was born. The sonographer was lovely, a trainee and took great care to explain everything to them. The downside was having to try and keep over excited boys quiet!

I would recommend it, but prepare a plan of action if there are any concerns from the sonographer, ie. would you be OK with dh taking dd out to the waiting room, or prepare what you can say to her if needs be. I'm sure everything will be just fine and you'll all enjoy the experience.

kazbeth · 30/09/2008 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FruitynNutty · 30/09/2008 16:11

I didn't think twice about bringing DS. Where would he have gone otherwise? No one else to watch him.
Our DS is part of our family so should have been there (he's only 3 BTW)

changer22 · 30/09/2008 16:16

We took one of ours as we had nobody to look after her and the sonographer was very snotty with us. She said 'I don't know why people insist on bringing their children with them'. We were bold enough to say that as the last scan had showed a missed miscarriage I wanted my DH to be with me and we hadn't any childcare. She shut up after that. Still spoilt the moment a bit though.

MKG · 30/09/2008 17:08

I took ds1 to my 20 week scan. He was about 16 months at the time, so basically sat in the stroller the whole time.

loobeylou · 30/09/2008 18:09

personally having been on the receiving end of a bad feotal diagnosis, I would not take a DC with me to a scan. It is generally called the anomaly scan, as opposed to a dating scan, and you just never know what might happen, do you. though i hope all will be well for you i would not go as far as others who say they are sure you will be fine, I find all that so trite.

some hospitals do have a policy of no children, they will get someone else to mind Dc for you outside the door, or take them up to playroom on childrens ward. your midwife should be able to tell you what is allowed at your hosp.

jem1969 · 30/09/2008 19:41

Took DD yesterday but she is only 14 months so the whole thing passed her by really. Invisiblehand- very impressed at your DD thinking it was her!

BigTeuchLittleTeuch · 30/09/2008 20:25

Loobeylou - Sorry for your experience. I wasn't being trite or flippant - as I pointed out - I was raising the point that she is old enough to understand an explanation of what is happening should you have any problems.

She's 5...you would need to explain to her at home anyway .

unfitmother · 30/09/2008 20:30

I nearly took DS to DS2s on my own, thank God I didn't, I had the worst news imaginable, it would have been awful if he had been there. Thankfully DH had insisted on accompanying me.
Not suggesting for a second that is common, but not impossible.

cmotdibbler · 30/09/2008 20:30

Yes, you have to explain at some point, but not when you are both sobbing your hearts out/totally confused about the next step/need to see the consultant to talk about tough decisions. I don't think that it is something that a 5 year old needs to see or hear first hand, but after a period when you can decide what you say and how

AnarchyAunt · 30/09/2008 20:30

A family member took her 4yo ds to her 20 week scan.

The baby had a heart defect incompatible with life, and a severely abnormal brain and upper body. Her ds had to listen to the sonographer recommending a late termination.

I would never take a young child to an anomaly scan.

MatBackFeck · 30/09/2008 20:30

I wouldnt take an older sibling to a hospital or clinic scan i.e one that is part of the official medical checks for the pregnancy if at all possible. I did however take my 3 year old to his brothers 3D scan at 29 weeks after I had already had 12 weeks and 20 week scans and knew it was extremely unlikely for them to see any problems at that one. I do know people that have had bad news at the 20 week scan and I personally think I would find it harder if the older child was there with me and would worry about the effect on them as well. I know an NHS sonographer and she says that they really frown on people bringing relatives including children to the 20 week scan in particular as this is the main one for picking up anomolies. She says they have prefer people to bring them to the 12 week scans if anything.

Saying all that, it is difficult when you will be there anyway shortly before. i would explain that to them when you get there and check they are allright with it, if you are.

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