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Original poster

I want to know the sex but not tell anyone else... but do I keep it a secret, and what do I say to people?!

54 replies

shubiedoo · 22/09/2008 21:07

This is my 3rd and definitely my last pg, and I would love to be able to say "it's a xxx!"
rather than everyone already knowing.
We already have two boys, so everyone will be asking if it's a girl!
Without lying outright, how can I keep it to myself? I need some smart replies too so everyone will stop asking...

OP posts:
AbbeyA · 23/09/2008 07:34

It wouldn't have been fair to say that we knew and then didn't tell close family, e.g. 10yr old DS or parents. We didn't let on afterwards that we knew in advance.

ajm200 · 23/09/2008 08:38

We know and are supposed to be keeping it a secret from the grandparents but I know we have both referred to baby as she on a number of occasions.

I've tried faking the he slip-up but I don't think I fool anyone.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 23/09/2008 08:55

Just say you didn't find out and wanted a surprise. If you say you know but you're not telling you sound like a pratt.

tinkcantwaitfor3dscan · 23/09/2008 09:03

we kept gender a secret when i was pregnant with dd only parents knew. people @ my work kept asking i just said that we knew but werent telling

CookieMonster2 · 23/09/2008 12:41

First time we found out but told people we wanted to keep the information to ourselves. I couldn't explain why, it was just something that was important to me. Anyway, dh accidently said 'she' to mil one day and that was that. Despite the fact that she knew we wanted it kept a secret she told everyone. We even got a pink item of clothing from a relative before she was born with 'Ha ha' written on the tag. I think we were supposed to be grateful for this present .
This time we will go for the 'we didn't ask' line and see if we can keep it quiet a bit longer.

tokentotty · 23/09/2008 13:11

We sounded like prats then first time. We found out and said we were keeping it to ourselves which we stuck to. This time we've just said that we didn't find out though as it got so annoying with everyone analysing every word or action we made for clues.

RibenaBerry · 23/09/2008 13:21

If you know what you're having, why not just say to other people that you haven't found out/the scan was inconclusive or whatever and then refer to the baby by the right gender?

If people ask, you can just say "oh, I have a feeling it's a boy, so I'm calling it him. I don't like saying 'it'" (or she, obviously, if it's a girl).

If people think you don't know, it's not a slip up if you call it by a particular gender. My friend's DD was 'he' all the way through her pregnancy, just because she had a feeling it was a boy (she was wrong, obviously!).

DungunGirl · 23/09/2008 13:22

I don't usually agree with lying...

But sometimes the hassle isn't worth it....I would just say that you are not finding out until the birth!

Good Luck!

gladders · 23/09/2008 13:28

had so many scans first time round that i had to ak.... but because grandparents didn' want to know, we felt we couldn't tell anyone and it was a PITA

everyone (literally to the checkout woman in the supermarket) asks, and it gets rather wearing - would have been easier to say...

so good luck - the thrill of telling everyone on the day was lovely, but not sure it was outweighed by the hassle of keeping a secret!

zoejeanne · 23/09/2008 13:30

We didn't tell anyone (not even family) til the week of the first scan - and it was so lovely having a secret, so if you can keep it a secret, it's great fun to have something just between the two of you. We've not found out the gender, but are referring to the baby as 'he' just because we really don't like it - which is confusing lots of colleagues, but is a way round a possible slip of the tongue if you accidently say 'he' or 'she'

zoejeanne · 23/09/2008 13:30

We didn't tell anyone (not even family) til the week of the first scan - and it was so lovely having a secret, so if you can keep it a secret, it's great fun to have something just between the two of you. We've not found out the gender, but are referring to the baby as 'he' just because we really don't like it - which is confusing lots of colleagues, but is a way round a possible slip of the tongue if you accidently say 'he' or 'she'

zoejeanne · 23/09/2008 13:31

oops, didn't mean to post twice!

Anglepoise · 23/09/2008 13:37

Ooh, I'm a prat.

2catsand1rabbit · 23/09/2008 14:11

Just say you don't know because if you say that you do but you're keeping it a secret, they'll get it out of you (or you'll slip up).

frazzledoldbag34 · 23/09/2008 14:22

You could do what our friends did. They told everyone they knew the sex after the scan but were keeping it a secret. Then the conversation moved on to baby names and they said 'We like Emily or Georgia -oops!'
Everyone went 'Ha ha you've let the cat out of the bag'.
Then they had a boy!!!
So they had the last laugh.
Quite funny really

lauraloola · 23/09/2008 15:16

We found out at 34 weeks and told everyone we knew but that we wanted to keep it a secret! It was hard for a few days not to let it slip but after a while it was easy!

Everyone tried to get it out of us but we just said 'not telling' and changed the subject. When people came round I would hide all of the 'coloured' items in a cupboard!!

It was so nice that we knew but no one else did. We will do the same for dc2!

Original poster
shubiedoo · 23/09/2008 17:09

OK, it will be up to us then to see if we can keep it quiet. Some great stories here, thanks!

OP posts:
Sycamoretree · 23/09/2008 17:24

We found out and didn't tell with our second. I just wanted everyone to be surprised, but as I knew I wasn't going to have another, I wanted to konw what it felt like to KNOW what you were having as with my first baby we didn't find out what we were having.

Just be prepared that you do feel a bit like your telling a bit of a lie everytime someone asks. We did admit to my mother after DS was born that we knew he was a boy. Oh, and I told my sister, who was sworn to secrecy and didn't even tell her DH!

Original poster
shubiedoo · 23/09/2008 18:35

Stree, this is how I feel too, it's the last time and why not surprise everyone.

OP posts:
lauraloola · 23/09/2008 21:23

Oh, good point. Next time I am going to tell people we dont know but actually find out. It did get annoying that people kept asking and trying to catch us out!

sambrads · 24/09/2008 08:30

i have 6 days to go til due date and me and dh are the only ones that know we are having a girl

we found out with ds at 28 week scan he is 2 tomorrow and no one knows that we found out he was a boy

this time we found out at 20 week scan so i have kept this secret for nearly 5 months sometimes its hard but its lovely having a secret with dh

both times when people ask we say we dont know what were having.
i will tell everyone that we knew when she comes as i have bought so much pink that there is no way dh would have time to get it between giving birth and me getting home haha

am a bit nervous this time as i hope my closest friends dont think i would lie to them but hopefully they will understand one of my good friends is having twins and told me they are girls so she will feel very cheated that i did not trust in her but at the end of the day they are not very good friends if they dont understand

you can do it just dont let it slip out

DungunGirl · 24/09/2008 11:56

sambrads

Here you are! Remember me from the Clomid thread YOU started???

Oh my god...6 days to go! Wonderful....

All the luck in the world!

sambrads · 24/09/2008 13:57

hi ya dungungirl !!!!!!!!

how are you ???

cant believe its been 9 months from i started that thread i have popped on a few times but have not been on for a while

iam on the due october thread although due 30th september but just stayed on octber thread
keep a look out for my birth announcement

DungunGirl · 25/09/2008 10:04

sambrads

Will do! I will keep an eye open! Do come and announce the birth on the new Clomid thread as well ok!

Your old one got too big so I hard to start a PART 2 one!

Guess what...in the end without Clomid - I am 12 weeks preggers! Got my scan on Monday. Can't wait!

sambrads · 26/09/2008 15:05

oh thats brill news !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when are you due???

were abouts is the new clomid thread??
oh itso exciting how are you feeling???