Er....anyone else think it is extremely rude when people ask 'was it planned'?

[Millie26]

Especially when they are collegues you hardly speak to and they say it really loudly in the corridor or in front of your team or in Tescos or anywhere it seems as that is first thing loads of people have said!

Wasnt expecting that!

How rude!

The 'was it planned?' question doesn't actually bother me to be honest. What does annoy me is when people ask me if I know what it is yet. My current answer is 'it's a baby'. What makes them assume I want to know in advance?

I have had a lot of people ask me that too but it's never really occurred to me to mind. I am quite laid back in comparison to most of my girlfriends though and knowing how some of them take things I can imagine their responses being similar. I guess it's rude in the way that you presume they are questioning the state of your relationship and your maternal qualities. Since finding out I was pregnant I split with my boyfriend and we both had a very difficult time, therefore when I told people I was pregnant the last thing I wanted was questions. I got asked about the stability if our relationship and even the 'o, i thought you were single' remarks got to me, so I suppose the 'was it planned?' I responded to a lot better. We have since got back together and we're very happy about the pregnancy and i'm more than happy to shout it from the roof tops. I think it's important to assess the context the question is asked in, because I know some lovely people that are far too blunt without and ounce of awareness, yet I know some mean characters that can't wait to p on your parade at any given opportunity-but I think those are the people that we learn to deal with.

Message withdrawn

I think I am just going to give them the full line. "Actually it was planned, but it happened quicker than we thought it would as I have been undergoing fetility tests for 5 years due to family history and having no cycle for large amouts of time- would you like the details and dates of my internal ultrasounds or is that information a bit personal???"

The sad lonely bitch secretary from my last job not only asked the typical was it planned etc questions but sat down at a desk with a calender and then hissed at me that she knew my baby was conceived out of wedlock !!!

I just laughed at her and said if that made her feel better...whatever.

Not that it matters but I know when my baby was made (on my honeymoon) and who gives a monkies if it was a week earlier. I was not a silly 15 year old, I was in my 30's with my DH for 10 years FFS.

This time I have had several bet you are relieved that DC2 is a boy (following our DD), as if having two girls would of been a terrible thing. I tell them that we would of been very happy whatever the gender of our DC2.

I agree people mean nothing by it but it is upsetting when you are hormonal already.