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Original poster

Boo to the NCT

31 replies

kraftwerkkittie · 07/09/2008 20:25

31 weeks and no NCT class. They seem to be pretty flaky and not to organise much, the NCT in our area, and they've not come up with any classes for me, nor do I get a sense that they're running any (maybe they are).

Anyway, my only real reason for doing the NCT classes was to get a bunch of friends - a bit strange when you think of it, paying to make friends. So could you all slag off the NCT now please so that I don't feel that I'm missing out. And tell me that you made friends after you'd had the bub?

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poppy34 · 07/09/2008 20:28

have made lots of friends on mumsnet - are you on the november 2008 thread so could see about them meeting up?

boogeek · 07/09/2008 20:28

I can slag them off by telling you that I loved them when DD1 was small - we moved back to the UK when she was 10 months so I had no ready-made AN group. Went to the weekly nct coffee morning and they were the loveliest normallest friendliest bunch. We then moved again; I rang the nct to see what was going on and was told oh yes coffee mornings are a good idea would you like to organise them??!
Unimpressed. Friendless ;)
You will easily make friends once bub has arrived.

Doodle2U · 07/09/2008 20:28

Some NCT branches are better than others. I joined when preg. with our first but I have some serious issues with them now which I won't bore you with.

I did stay in touch with my class after DS was born but gradually, it was my existing friends and friends we made at playgroup which have stayed the course with me.

savetheplanetdontiron · 07/09/2008 20:31

well you could always take the initiative and start something else if your local group isn't that active..... or is it better just to have a moan about other people?

squeaver · 07/09/2008 20:31

Classes were fine but I didn't make any friends through the NCT. Not the fault of the people there but none of them actually lived very close to me (which I thought was part of the point).

I'm always mystified by people who eulogise their NCT class.

Does you hospital run ante-natal classes? Or you could with someone else - my pregnancy yoga teacher did them. And I think there's a couple of MNers who run them too e.g. MarsLady. Maybe you could look for one on here?

funnypeculiar · 07/09/2008 20:36

NCTs vary hugely by location - you may have a rubbish one (or you may have a very over-subscribed one, where you don't get on a class unless you sign up the day you conceive )
My class was a huge help in the first few months. Now, I'm still in touch with them, but none of them would make it into my best mummy mates pile

But you can make friends though baby classes (if that's your bag); turning up at NCT coffee mornings/committee meetings (if your branch has them), local playgroups etc. You just have to make a bit of an effort

countrybubmkin · 07/09/2008 21:29

Same as boogeek. I went to an NCT coffee group which was wonderful - all really nice people. I then moved and the NCt group in my new area was very bitchy and unfriendly. I guess its pot luck!

There are other options to make friends- baby massgage, toddler groupsetc.

notcitrus · 08/09/2008 00:26

My SILs did NCT classes and said they were useless - mine I think were pretty good (not given birth yet but we covered lots of stuff my SILs claim they didn't get at all).

My group all live very near me so we've met lots already. But I've met more women via Mumsnet - will see which I stay in touch with.

Not so impressed with the magazine and crap the NCT send me by post - it's supposed to be the Lambeth & Southwark branch but you'd never guess as Lambeth doesn't appear anywhere in the mag (even in lists of babies from classes, or where to go for bf advice).

MarsLady · 08/09/2008 00:29

Whereabouts are you kraftwerkkittie?

cathym · 08/09/2008 10:31

I tried to get on an NCT course when I was pregnant the first time and there weren't any places free. However, having heard reports of them from friends I was glad I didn't go on one. It seems to me that they are very supportive when everything goes right and you want (and get) a normal labour that is as drug free as possible, but as soon as you get problems they don't want to know you.

I know of one person who was advised by the hospital to have a c-section and the NCT instructor told her it was completely unnecessary, but then she ended up having a very nasty and complicated emergency c-section.

I know someone else who ended up having to book an elective c-section because of problems, and worried about the problems turned to the NCT instructor for support. Didn't get any support because the NCT aren't really fans of elective c-sections.

Glad I didn't go on an NCT course because I had a lot of problems myself and didn't need anyone making me feel worse about them!

Once the baby is born there will be loads of baby groups you can join and I made loads of friends that way.

ajm200 · 08/09/2008 10:51

Didn't do NCT after a friends negative experience.

Don't worry about making friends at NCT. Our antenatal class were all working and didn't really gel so although we bump into each other from time to time, no-one keeps in touch.

I found I made many more friends by taking DS to mum and baby groups/playgroups. A newborn is a magnet to other mums and everyone is in the same boat so people tend to be chatty and friendly and want to do stuff with other mums.

Lovage · 08/09/2008 14:10

I did NCT classes. Actual classes were good, but I really didn't get on with the other people. We are occasionally in touch 2 years on (like once a year or so) but I really don't want to see any more of them.

Antenatal classes organised by dr's surgery, on the other hand, were completely useless, but the group really gelled and we still meet about monthly.

I also made friends through local toddler group. Lots of opportunities to make friends with a baby IME

Original poster
kraftwerkkittie · 09/09/2008 21:58

Thanks everybody - I'm in Walthamstow. To be fair, the people from the NCT who I've spoken to have been very nice... there just doesn't seem to be much going on.

I keep reminding myself that you can make friends once you've had the bub, so it's good to have that confirmed. Now hopefully I can spend the money I would have spent on NCT classes on cake once I'm not working hooray hooray hooray!

OP posts:
Original poster
kraftwerkkittie · 09/09/2008 21:59

ooh and i didn't know there was a november group poppy, i'll check it out

OP posts:
fourlittlefeet · 09/09/2008 22:01

theres also tons going on down here in bethnal green so if you get lonely in walthamstow, head this way... I'm due in mid Jan . btw is there a german connection with your name?

onepieceoflollipop · 09/09/2008 22:02

May I say something in defence of the NCT? I am quite involved in our local branch and it seems to be very friendly. However I think that some people (not necessarily on this thread) forget that the NCT is a charity mainly run locally by volunteer parents. The vast majority of the volunteers have a least one small child/baby and generally other commitments such as working outside the home.

(apart from a few staff at Head Office)

Like most charities we are desperately short of volunteers. We have very few people wanting to volunteer, yet many people wanting to moan about how we don't offer enough which I find very frustrating. I am not suggesting that any of you would do this, but that has been my local experience.

I am sorry for those of you that have had bad experiences of the NCT.

MorocconOil · 09/09/2008 22:08

Is there an aquanatal group near you? I met lots of people there. Your midwife will give you information about local groups.

Original poster
kraftwerkkittie · 09/09/2008 23:10

I know onepiece, it was unfair what I wrote at first. I'd definitely be prepared to do something once I feel that I have any experience of childbirth/childcare. For now, I don't feel ready and haven't seen my local NCT in action in order to feel that I could get involved. Do take your point though...

Thanks fourlittlefeet - i'll head over to bethnal if I start talking to myself! Plus, aquanatal sounds interesting - I'll check it out...

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 10/09/2008 11:25

Hi kraftwerkkittie - thanks for your response to my post - I was worried you might take offence.

I am sure your local branch would be happy to have you as a volunteer when you feel ready. I started off very small - e.g I was a support mum, basically a mum with an older baby who "looks after" a group of parents with bumps and then newborns. All it really involved was hosting a few coffee mornings etc and giving them somewhere welcoming to meet up and chat.

AnarchyAunt · 10/09/2008 11:34

I was a birth partner for a friend last year and went to both NCT and NHS antenatal classes with her.

She was getting the NCT ones at a reduced rate (£20 for the course) as she was on a low income, and tbh the other parents there were quite evidently paying the full whack to avoid the 'commoners' at the NHS ones. One of the dads told us the all about how he and his wife had attended one NHS class and found it hilarious how the men there knew nothing about pregnancy or birth. Oh and they were all, you know, black (in a whisper)

And after the course ended, my friend was never invited to any of the meals or meet-ups the group arranged.

So IME, it depends what sort of people you want to get to know! I didn't think there was any real difference in how well the courses equipped parents for the experience.

AnarchyAunt · 10/09/2008 11:39

Should add, the NHS classes, while in grotty premises and with cheaper biscuits, were well run and representative of the community. There were no raised eyebrows at the idea of a woman having no partner. There was a bf class, a hospital tour, an encouraging talk on homebirth.

There is nothing wrong with NHS classes, and if you are planning to give birth in a local hospital, they are a very good (and free) preparation.

notcitrus · 10/09/2008 13:11

Anarchy - in some places there are no NHS classes! Or rather, they book up so early that most people have no chance. NCT were the only other provider I'd heard of, so it was coughing up for that or nothing.

I didn't know when I did my course that the tutors are paid (so at the time I was impressed but feeling ripped off). Now I think mine was reasonable value but my SILs should be fuming at their courses not being very good.

I'm tempted to run a tea group once I've got my baby - not just being altruistic, it would enable me to meet other mums without having to go anywhere!

onepieceoflollipop · 10/09/2008 13:28

Also you don't have to actually pay to join the NCT to join in with any of the activities. (although as others have said you do have to pay for antenatal classes if you opt for those)

For those of you that live in an area where there are no NCT classes, that is because they don't have enough people applying to do the training. The training is a long process (obviously they want well trained teachers) and also the actual job doesn't pay much (imo). Also the hours are quite limited (mainly weekend classes) for those women (and men) who opt to train as antenatal teachers.

AnarchyAunt what a horrible experience for your friend - and on her behalf.

Botbot · 10/09/2008 13:30

I did NCT classes for the sole purpose of making friends, but we had nothing in common and it all fizzled out pretty quickly. My best mum friend was made through the bog-standard NHS classes. And you've got MN too - I wish I'd got on here while I was pregnant instead of waiting until dd was a few months old before discovering it.

You'll be fine.

Playdough · 10/09/2008 14:37

Console yourself with the knowledge that, in information terms, you are not missing out. The stuff we covered in our NCT classes seemed laughably irrelevant once the baby had arrived. (For some reason, there was never any idea that breastfeeding might not come naturally to everyone ... etc, etc.) As everyone has been saying, meeting other mothers once the baby is out is, if you'll forgive the phrase, child's play! Toddler groups, people you meet in parks, even the woman in the next bed in the maternity ward ... And I'd second the recommendation to find out about your local NHS classes, ours were very good.

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