Still no movements, my bump has stopped growing, I don't even know what anyone could do to make me relax about it all...

[NatalieJaneIsPregnantAgain]

I phoned the MW this morning (a big step for me), explained that I was worried about not feeling any movements, said how I haven't grown for the last 4/5 weeks, and told her how it is all so so so different from my other pregnancies, and she said "we don't really monitor baby movements or growth until around 26 weeks, because, well there is nothing we can do before then, except deliver the baby if there was something wrong"

But, I can go for a AN appointment next week to listen to the HB. I have a doppler (for all my sins....) I know the HB is OK (though has been faster than usual the last few times I've done it) I also know that whilst hearing the HB is a good sign, it doesn't mean all is well.

I am just going round in circles, I go for a few days where I think everything is fine, and try not to even think about it all, and then I have a day like today where it is just staring me in the face all the time. And like I said, I don't even know what anyone could do to make it better, just need to rant I suppose!

Mears, oh my lovely Mears

I know the HB is a good sign (obviously) but it doesn't stop me worrying about other things. I know the baby can be alive (so all outward signs would be good), but still not be healthy.

I suppose my main worry is that there is a reason why I am not getting any bigger when I had started out getting as big at the same rate as I did with DS2, (baby not growing properly?) and why I am not feeling movements (baby not growing properly?) I am seeing a pattern here, so I suppose my worry is that the baby isn't growing properly.

I really do understand that there will be lots of people at this stage not feeling movements, and not have even the slightest of slight bumps, but it isn't 'normal' for me.

I'm really sorry to sound harsh here but you're being given good advice here and youre not doing it!!!! Just explain to your 6 year old that mummy needs to check that baby is growing happily so you're going to see if the baby can be listened to in the hospital, can family member go with you to act as distraction? Who cares if the kids run riot in the hosp???? You have every right for reassurance and care, esp based on history and I cant't imagine that a worried, tired mum would be sent away for just wanting to know all is ok. You're not going for no reason, I've had to have 2 monitoring 'sessions' due to little or no movement and felt awkward both times (weekends/short-staffed etc) but in the event they were great and I came home knowing baby was happy! Please please call again or just go there and beg to be seen!!!!

Can you phone your own midwife and arrange to visit her? She will be able to feel the uterus and assess where the fundal height is. If it is much less that where it should be perhaps she could bring your scan forward.

It may well be that because she knows you she could get a scan arranged earlier.

Failing the above, I think you have to phone the unit back and stress that you are really worried and need reassurance.

Marmite, DS1 would still hear everything I say to the MW, all the worries and concerns, and of course if, if they did find anything wrong he would hear that as well. I can't take them with me.

Mears, I can't ever contact my MW (the set up is a team of MW's assigned to my GP surgery, so I don't actually have a MW as such) all I can do is ring the GP surgery and book a AN appointment with the MW, but they are only in our surgery on Tuesday mornings, which is almost a week away, it'd only another week till my scan, it doesn't seem worth it.

I'll have a chat with DH tonight, he knows I am worrying about it, but I have kept it to myself the last week or so, I don't like worrying him, I'll see what he want's to do. It'll mean a day off work (which is very difficult for him, although obviously some things are more important) but if we decide to camp out at the hospital again then we can see if MIL will have the boys, which isn't always easy to arange.

I went in to hospital as I was having pains and I told them if I was 38 + weeks I would be saying I was in labour. They told me to go straight in and they kept asking me how many days over 19 weeks I was but it is only now I realise it was becasue they thought the baby wouldn't be viable so they wouldn't let me anywhere near the ante natal ward.

This is your BABY. I nearly lost my first child because of an incompetant midwife. PLEASE will you just call someone? If all is well, great, but if it isn't the sooner you are seen the better. This is one day in your life doing battle wuth a midwife, how will you live the rest of your life if you do nothing and it is just too late?

I really do not want to upset you but you are worried enough to post but you aren't listening to any of us.

I know you are worried about your son hearing everything but you will have bigger worries to explain to him if things aren't okay.

Please will you just get checked.

natalie, if he knows you're preg and something is wrong he's going to find out eventually.

chances are it'll be a good trip because you'll be told the placenta is on the front and baby is fine.

the mw's will try and be discreet around him anyway and chances are he'll find something to fiddle with and ignore you anyway.

The advice my midwife gave me, is that if there any concern about fetal movements, to get this checked out.

You have had other children and know what movements feel like.

Maybe you are having a girl this time?

Not making light of it though, I personally find ceaseless worry a good enough reason to get checked out, as all that stress aint healthy either.

You must have a named midwife even though you do not see her every time. And don't leave the next appt until they write the normal contact number for the unit and the emergency number in your notes.

Could dh/dp look after dc for you while you get checked out? My movements slowed when I was around 24 weeks and the put me on a monitor for an hour. Once they hooked me up the baby went mad!! Maybe phone the labour ward and see what they say or is that the number you phoned earlier?

Thanks to everyone offering advice, we had a chat last night and have decided that as I am still getting the HB on the doppler (although if it continues to get faster I'll scrap this plan) my triple tests results are due in this week (had the test two weeks ago) and I think what I am worried about would be picked up on it, we're going to wait for the results and take it from there.

I am back to feeling gut instinct saying all is OK, it's like I said I go for days on end where I convince myself it's OK, and then have a day like yesterday where I just have a bit of a melt down. I do wonder how much of it is down the lack of movement/growing, but then I wonder if indeed this is just a 'normal' pregnancy compared to my others, and the MC is just clouding everything in my head. I suppose I took the boy's pregnancies for granted.

With my first baby I felt movement at about 15 weeks.
With my second it was well after my 20 week scan. Turned out I had an anterior placenta, which is fairly common. Didnt feel much at all until right near the end.

That really is the most likely explanation for why you arent feeling movement.
If you are still very worried and have no other signs of anything being wrong (which would make the MW's monitor you) then why dont you arrange a private scan if you dont want to wait the 2 weeks until your next scan?

You have been hearing the HB regularly so you know that baby IS moving in there, even if you cant feel it.
Try not to worry (easier said than done!) if you decide to wait the 2 weeks for your NHS scan.

Leonie, anterior placenta is what I tell myself it is on a good day like today!

2.4kids, I don't think the MW's would monitor me for any other reason than bleeding, and even then I'd have a fight on my hands. It just seems my trust likes for people to just get on with it until later on in the pregnancy.

Anyway as I said, we're going to wait for the triple test results and take it from there, well for as long as the HB doesn't get any faster.

Does anyone know how fast it has to be before I have to do something? When I first started picking it up it was fairly high (around 175-ish) but it slowly came down to around 155, now it is creeping back up to 170. I know 170's is high, but still OK, how high is not OK?

These are the questions you should ask your midwife. I would also be wary of using a doppler yourself if you don't know what the readings mean.

You really shouldn't care what the midwives say or be bothered about having a fight on your hands. You should be fighting for your baby to check all is okay.

I wish you all the best but please get checked out.

My baby went from fine to almost dying in hours so hence why I am very cautious.

These are questions that if I had a MW who seemed to even once just sit and listen to me and reassure me, I would ask, but since I don't have one of them, I need to find out from somewhere else.

I know what the normal range is (140-160) but also know that the first readings I was getting of over 170 were "OK" I just don't know when it is dangerously fast. The doppler is the only thing keeping me going at the moment, it has never caused me even a second of stress, only ever reassuring when I've been worried. I am not going to stop using it.

And TBH, I know you are trying to help, and I can see why you are over cautious, but to say I should be fighting for my baby isn't exactly helpful. It really isn't as black and white as you are making it out to be, else I'd have done it already.

You need to change midwives. You can do this without giving a reason. With my last pregnancy my midwife was at a different surgery to my GP as my previous midwife let me down and I would not see her again.

To me it would be black and white. You are either worried or you are not.

I will leave this now since you say I am not helping.

I wish you all the best.

NJ, The faster HBs you are getting could be from placenta if you have anterior placenta. Or it could be that the pains you are feeling are irritable uterus which caused my DS3s HB to rocket for a few seconds each time it "niggled"

DS3 was also after a m/c and every little thing would have me panicing. He is now 5 months old and despite a difficult end (i developed cholestasis-NOTHING connected with HBs and irritable uterus) he is very healthy

I can't change MW's, well I can, but there'd be little point as I'd end up with at least one of the MW's I am with now being at the birth anyway. Because the hospital where I will give birth is in a different town, they have these groups of community MW's, who do half their shifts as community MW's who carry out the AN appiointments at the local GP's (as far as I can tell, the same group of MW's that cover my GP's surgery, also cover most if not all of the other local surgerys in our town), and then they do half their shifts at the hospital along side some other groups of MW's that cover other surrounding towns, does that make any sense?

Sorry I didn't mean you were being un-helpful, just that that comment cut a bit deep - pregnancy hormones?

It isn't black and white because at my last AN appointment the two MW's that were there weren't worried at all about any of this, and the MW I spoke to on the phone wasn't worried about it, so how can I turn up to hospital with kids in tow, saying that I am worried? It sounds like I am ignoring all of them and trying to tell them how to do their job - which is the last thing I want to do. If, in medical terms, this all amounted to something, in their eyes, worth checking then I am sure she would have had me come in yesterday.

As I said, the worry comes and goes, most of the time I can manage it, sometimes (like yesterday) it just overwelms me a little) I think we are doing all we can to try and stop it becoming overwelming again, and putting my faith into the triple test results isn't a bad course of action IMO - I just hope they bloody hurry up and get here!

Blue I had an irritable uterous with DS2, but didn't have a doppler with him!

I am only listening in to the HB once a day for a minute or so, I've just done it now and it was ranging from 160-170, this seems to be a constant rather than a spike.

NJ - I think you and your DH have a good plan to wait for test results and take it from there.

I personally do not think it will be helpful to change midwives but it is a shame that you were not able to obtain reassurance.

The normal heart rate range for a baby is 110-160, however the more preterm a baby is, the higher the heart rate tends to be. A baby of 19 weeks will have a faster than normal heart rate because it is very immature development wise and by that I mean the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems which control heart rate.

When a baby is active, the heart rate is also faster.

Cling onto the more positive feelings that you have today - there is nothing you have said here that would make me suspect that there is a problem.

Pregnancies are all different and perhaps it is just trying to keep that thought in mind. Take care

I was expecting to feel my second child much earlier than my first. DD (first) I felt at about 16 week. DS, nada, zilch until I was about 22 weeks.
Also, with dd I showed much earlier than with ds, or rather, at the beginning was similar, but as I progressed I didn't look as big as I had with dd, until much further on (like post 30 weeks).

I know that I'm not you, and that this is unlikely to assuage any fears. I just wanted to post and say how shocked I was at how completely different the pregnancy was with each of my children. In the end, ds was over a pound heavier than dd, but I was smaller overall. I think because I was so busy and also had made sure not to fall into the "eating for 8" trap again.

NJ, I remember my SIL being worried that she felt movement much later with her third baby tha with her first 2. He is now 11 and perfectly healthy.
Another SIL never felt any movement at all till 23 weeks on either pg and both are healthy children now.
Don't know if this is helpful but just to let you know it can happen with a good outcome.

I just think you are being bossed about my the midwives, and have little support form your gp or them. I feel that you are being made to back away from your instincts.

Thank you Mears, I just wish the test results would hurry up and get here!

Piratecat, not so much back away from my instincts, just one day my instincts are all good and it's all fine, the next instincts are bad and it's all doomed! The lack of support certainly doesn't help, especially because even if the MW was the most supportive ever, I still always feel like I am just being a PITA, so it takes a lot for me to contact them in the first place. At the end of the day I am not a MW, they know more than me, and even if it seems unfair at the time, if I ring them and explained how I am feeling and they aren't worried then that should be enough to put my mind at rest, it is just that on the bad days, someone bleating about averages and repeating what I could read in a book doesn't seem helpful, but on good days I know that is just me being precious. They must have neurotic women ringing up every hour about one thing or another, I suppose when they see the very worst aspects of pregnancies going wrong, someone ringing up at 19 weeks saying they can't feel movements, when it certainly isn't unreasonable for someone not to feel movements, is just a drop in the ocean to them. To me, obivously it is a different matter, but I am confident that if they'd have picked up on anything I said as bad they'd have done something.

Just wish I could see it like that on the bad days!