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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

how old was your baby when he/she slept at grandparents?

54 replies

niki1 · 26/07/2008 10:48

hi would love people's views on when its ok to let baby stay the night at grandparents.dont want to make a mistake and allow this too early but dont want to come across as over the top either?!?

OP posts:

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belgo · 26/07/2008 18:07

About 16 months, because baby number two was due, and we wanted to make sure dd1 was used to sleeping at her grandmother's house, so she would go there with no problems when I was in labour.

kama · 26/07/2008 18:07

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DanJARMouse · 26/07/2008 18:09

DD1 - about 6mnths
DD2 - about 4mnths
DS - about 4mnths

They love staying at Grandads house! It only happens every few months, but it is nice for me and DH to be alone in the house for a few hours!

Blu · 26/07/2008 18:12

I left DS with a stranger (aka a nanny - his nanny) when he was 9 months...I was beside myself wanting him back by 9a.m the next morning.

Blu · 26/07/2008 18:13

niki - you aren't going to know how you will feel about this until your baby has been born. 6 weeks is v early to leave a newborn overnight, imo.

Klaw · 26/07/2008 18:15

DD is nearly 3.2 and mum can't even have her to stay a few hours as she's 'too much' for her (DD's practically an angel)

Dp's parents live at the oppposit end of the country so that's impossible

When ds was little mum did have him occassionally but then step father was still alive, and ds would go to his other gps fairly often also.

As much as I adore DD I would so love to have a night free.......

unfitmother · 26/07/2008 18:16

Mine were 9 and 6 years old

Shitehawk · 26/07/2008 18:38

Personally I think it's mighty presumptious of your PILs to have made a nursery for your baby in their own home, with the expectation of you leaving the baby overnight so early.

Nothing can prepare you for having your baby around, and the feelings you have that you never, ever want to let him or her go. Leaving my baby on her own with grandparents for twenty minutes freaked me out at six weeks; dh took her for a ride in the car to calm her down once while I had a bath and came back without her - he had left her with my MIL. I went berserk; I was fine being away from her as long as she was with dh, but I couldn't bear the thought of her being on her own with anyone who wasn't either me or dh. It really panicked me.

Don't commit to anything until the baby is here. You can't tell now how you will feel then. And don't let your in-laws dictate to you when your baby stays with them for the first time; the right time is when YOU are ready.

TheBlonde · 26/07/2008 18:50

my eldest is 3.5 yrs, he hasn't stayed overnight with grandparents yet

Pitufina · 26/07/2008 20:01

We had 24 hours away on our wedding anniversary when he was about 9 months old.

lizziemun · 26/07/2008 20:17

It has to be what you are comfortable with. As i said i left both of mine with my mum at about 8wks.

I have never had a probelm with leaving them with my mum as she is fit and healthy where as the Il's may only be a couple of years older but seem to be a lot older IYKWIM i and would not be comfortable leaving them.

But now dd1 is 4.6yrs loves going to have a sleepover at nanny's and grandads whenever she can. Where as dd2 (10mths) i have only left her with them for a couple of hours because mIL cannot cope with all the lifting as she has bad wrists.

Now it not a probelm as mum lives around the corner so if we go out mum comes and looks after them here and they are in their own home.

MaloryTowersUrbaniteLady · 26/07/2008 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nancy75 · 26/07/2008 20:20

my dd stayed with my parents when she was about 6wks old, and slept better for them than she did for me!
never had a problem leaving her with my mum, if it had been pils i might have felt differently, but they are in australia so ill never know!

Zebraa · 26/07/2008 21:09

I think instincts rule in situations like this. Each to their own so just see how you feel.

If you and the parents are perfectly comfortable about looking after him, you might be glad of the break/you and DP time.

laura325630 · 26/07/2008 21:14

My dd is 6 weeks old and my parents have been asking to have her stay since she was 2 weeks old! I am no where near ready to leave her yet!!

Pinkjenny · 26/07/2008 21:22

11mo - and twice since then. It makes me ridiculously anxious and we always go and get her as early as possible!

I always look forward to the lie in but then just miss her sooo much.

mckenzie · 26/07/2008 21:26

Ds was 3 months and 3 weeks. I remember it well because at that stage we were still doing a feed before we went to bed at about 10/11pm and DS would then go through to 7am/8am ish. My DM decided that she'd see what would happen if he didn't get that little feed and sure enough, he went happily through from 7pm until about 7.30pm the next morning. Obviously, we never went back to doing that late feed and my DM was so proud of herself and rightly so. DH and I as first time parents were too scared (yes, I know, daft as ducks and with the experience of hindsight etc we would not have been so pathetic )

NintyZelda · 26/07/2008 21:32

My DS was 5 weeks and my DD was 6 weeks the first time they stayed at my parents house.
We (me and DH) are very close to my parents, we see them daily as we all work together, it was never really a problem leaving DCS to stay with them.
Although I did ring my mum constantly, and worried loads even though my mum and dad have raised 3 kids!!
It really depends on how you feel

Blu · 26/07/2008 22:29

But if she is breastfed??

MavisG · 27/07/2008 08:45

Not entirely relevant, but what is it about non-child-friendly weddings? I think this a horrible policy (though of course I've never said so to friends who've done it) and have no idea why people do it. Are brides worried someone might put sticky fingers on the wedding dress? Make a noise in the service? I think it's prissy and ungenerous to tell your guests they have to leave their kids at home. The bride and groom miss out, too - it's fab having boys sliding across the dancefloor on their knees, high on wedding cake and pop, and little girls following you around at a shy distance because they think you're some sort of fairy princess. There were a couple of dozen under-twelves at mine and most of them were asleep under tables by nine o'clock anyway.

2point4kids · 27/07/2008 08:51

DS1 was about 10 months ish I think. He's stayed there ;perhaps 3 times since (he is now nearly 3)
DS2 is staying out for the first time next weekend EEK! he is 5 months old (we are going to a child free wedding!)

Funnily enough I am looking forward to the break this time more than worrying about being without the kids lol

LeonieD · 27/07/2008 09:00

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TheMadHouse · 27/07/2008 09:07

DS1 was 15 months and it was then night Igave birth to DS2. He is 2 and neither of them have stayed away since.

TBH I dont think that they are old enough yet.

PortAndLemon · 27/07/2008 09:20

About 15 months, I think? That's with MIL; none of the other grandparents have had DS overnight.

myermay · 27/07/2008 09:36

blimey we had our frinds christmas party, and i left ds1 overnight with my mum (whom i trust completely and who is fab with children) at 1 week old , however i did spend all night crying, i was emotional, overtired etc and had a crap night out!

I do really regret it, but it was wierd, i took a while to bond with ds1, as i didn't really feel like he was mine. after having my 2nd, i didn't actually know how i did it!

Ds2 i was totally different with as i already had the mothers instinct and didn't leave him until he was about 12 wks overnight.

Going to my mum & dads is like a second home to my kids - they love going there. My mum has a room done out for them plus toys, bikes etc,

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