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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Why is the first trimester so horrible?

39 replies

PicadillyCircus · 06/02/2005 18:58

I am 7 weeks pregnant and not enjoying it. I have constant nausea, occasionally vomitting and have little or no energy.

I know there are people who have it worse than me but I hate the feeling of being out of control of what is happening to me, and I don't like not feeling I am able to be a good enough mummy to DS (14 months).

Work is also tiring at the moment (I work part time) although DS seems to be more tiring. Last week I had to do two 100 mile round trips involving leaving the house at 6:30 so I could be at the clients for 8:15, so I could leave at 4 to be able to pick DS up by 6. On Friday I went to bed when I got home and basically slept until Saturday morning but I was still worn out.

I know I will feel better in a few weeks' time but I have to get through the weeks first .

Sorry about long moan.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

motherinferior · 06/02/2005 19:00

Huge hugs. It's too unspeakably vile, isn't it. xxxxxxxxxxxx

Socci · 06/02/2005 19:43

Message withdrawn

PuffTheMagicDragon · 06/02/2005 19:44

It is horrid - hope you feel more human soon .

morningpaper · 06/02/2005 19:46

Ooh I am just over 5 weeks and the nausea and tiredness is just setting in - I've just for my pyjamas on ready for bed at 7pm! I don't know how I'm going to cope. Then I remember that I'm going to be exhausted for at least the next two years...

Actually I prefer being at work - at least I can sit down and eat biscuits all the time...

Socci · 06/02/2005 19:49

Message withdrawn

marthamoo · 06/02/2005 19:52

First trimester's horrid, last trimester's horrid - think I had about a week in the middle when I felt OK.

Personally I think there's a lot to be said for laying eggs instead....

Sallie · 07/02/2005 09:31

Completely with you on this Picadilly. Am also feeling rotten - constant motion sickness, headaches and exhaustion. Work 4 days a week and already have two kids (ds 2 yrs 5 months and dd 11 months)so not much let up at work or at home.

Pidge · 07/02/2005 09:38

Moan away - it is utterly ghastly. I realised that I ended up quite depressed at the end of both my first trimesters - not surprising really after 3 months of feeling sick 24 hours a day, and needing to sleep 10-12 hours per night, and still feeling exhausted. I'm now nearly 37 weeks, and frankly this bit is a doddle by comparison!

Leogaela · 07/02/2005 09:45

I was really thrilled to be pregnant, but hated every minute of it at the beginning. The worst is that you are trying to keep it to yourself to start with and feeling so bad and for me also very emotional! But it has got progressively better and better, the happy hormones definitely take over at some point and at least the end is in sight by the 3rd tri. But it is the longest most frustrating 9 months ever!

I have deepest respect for anyone that chooses to go through it more than once, but more than twice is madness!!!!

...OK, so it is also a very unique and special experience!

Good luck all!

Moomina · 07/02/2005 10:09

It's rotten, isn't it? I'm not surprised you feel knackered and grim. The nausea is bad enough, but the way the tiredness overwhelms you is quite astonishing. I remember waking up one evening on the sofa, with a plate of beans on toast upended on the carpet beside me - I must have fallen asleep the second I sat down and the plate slid off my lap...

It will get better though - in the end! ((()))

moschops · 07/02/2005 10:30

i'm just starting to feel a bit better, that is the sick feeling is starting to lift. i still don't find any food appetising and am struggling to feed myself at the moment.

i don't know about anyone else but i have found i feel totally unsociable and not just because of the tiredness. All i want to do is stay in with my dp and the dog and snuggle on the settee. i'm just not up to going down the pub and making conversation, and at work am finding it really hard to cope with customers. i just don't want to leave the house unless i really have to.

this is my first pregnancy and it still hasn't really sunk in what is happening to me. i wake up in the middle of the night thinking 'oh my god what have i done?' and i thought i would be elated to finally be pregnant but actually i feel quite down.

hopefully it will get better after my scan.

welshmum · 07/02/2005 10:39

Sorry to hear you're feeling so bad pc. I think the best approach is to go with it as much as poss - eat what and when you like, sleep as much as you can (v hard with another around I know)but go to bed ridiculously early if necessary.
I don't know if you feel like I did - I'd just got things back on an even keel after no.1 then 'oh no here we go again' and tried to carry on doing too much at first. Since then I've kind of eased into the pregnancy and changed my attitude a bit - feel better now. All the best.

Pidge · 07/02/2005 10:44

moschops - that's exactly how I've felt both times round - life just stops for 3 months and becomes a battle to survive from one nasueous moment to the next. I would battle into work, feel sick, battle home, feel sick, cry over dp, then crawl into bed at 8pm. So much for a social life, and so much for the joy of being pregnant. And first time round it's terrifying because you really think it might be like that for 9 months. But, unless you're very very unlucky, it will lift. I found the sickness never went completely, but I could eat, and go out with people and enjoy life, and look forward to being a mum.

I think it's underestimated just how awful those early months are and what an impact it can have on your state of mind.

Original poster

PicadillyCircus · 07/02/2005 10:45

Thank you all for the nice messages -this week at work I have shifted my days so I'm not at work today but DS is at nursery, so I am relaxing at the moment .

Welshmum, I really agree with you about feeling things are back to semi-normal and now we're off again. This pregnancy was a surprise to us as well so I really wasnb;t exepcting this to happen for a while.

But overall feeling much better today than the rest of the weekend

OP posts:

Leogaela · 07/02/2005 11:09

Moschops - take the odd day off work sick here and there. I wish i had done in the early days. Tell someone at work who will be sympathetic unofficially and confidentially if it will help you get more support and understanding. My brain totally shut down in the first 3 months (hasn't really got going again, but is better now.) and I had a really bad time with a collegue who decided that I had a personal problem with him and was deliberately neglecting my work. I spoke to my boss who told him I was having a difficult time and to back off.
Don't go out and socialise if you don't want to even if friends put pressure on you. I really went off bars and pubs very quickly - its no fun not being able to drink and even the slightest wiff of smoke was really bad. Do what you feel, have the evenings to yourself to laze around, go to bed early, take long baths.
I had ups and downs as well, was terrified of the impact the baby would have on my life and if I would enjoy it, had periods in the beginning where I had never felt more down before in my life. I thought I was abnormal as I hated the pregnancy so much. I think the pregnancy has already changed my life a lot so hopefully I will be better prepared for the baby now.
The worst thing is that I felt really pathetic and as if I wasn't coping with the pregnancy at all, but I realise now that we all go through the same thing, some worse than others. But even a good pregnancy isn't easy. Most people around you will accept it and realise it and I have found people have been surprisingly supportive. The least understanding ones are the young childless people who have had no experience with pregnancy or anyone pregnant.

I am now 35+ weeks and it still hasn't sunk in either! But you really should start to slwoly feel better as the the tiredness and sickness lifts and although I felt miserable in 1st tri I have had days and days on end of feeling elated since then.

Dingle · 07/02/2005 11:33

Oh,I remember it well!!

I can still picture myself sitting on ds's bedroom floor crying my eyes out after phoning the doctor/midwife for some help! I was told,it's your hormones (!!!!) can't do anything about it!!!
After throwing up up to 15 times a day with ds, I managed to ONLY be sick up to 8 times a day with dd, while trying to look after ds, who was about 18 months old. I remember thinking what a mean mum I was being to him, he seemed to be in his cot constantly while my head was down the toilet!!
Any consolation, hopefully it won't last long and I know my ds hasn't been effected by it!!

Hope you are feeling better soon, BTW, couldn't stand coke, tea, or coffee (decaf tea not so bad!)
When I did get my appetite back all I wanted was curry and crisps-I supose to help take away that awful metallic taste!!

morningpaper · 07/02/2005 11:35

I only work 2 half-days a week but it is still tough. I have to eat constantly or else I feel really sick and faint. Lordy I will be a heffa before I'm even into my second trimester. I'm am also starting to feel the hormone levels/panic levels rising and I'm thinking OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

I've told no one yet (5+4) but I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the next few weeks... Even WORSE, DH is in bed with some kind of man flu so I'm flying solo with DD - GAH!

Thanks for your congratulations Socci!

moschops · 07/02/2005 11:44

fortunately i am self-employed (family run business) and at the moment am only working one day a week. we rearranged the work schedule to make this possible. it really helps to know i'm not the only one feeling this way. my friend (who had her baby last thurs) said to me the first three months were emotionally quite flat. after all the excitement of finding out you are pregnant and telling everyone, suddenly nothing happens for three months except feeling washed out.

i am a pretty forthright person so i have been ignoring my (childless) friends inability to understand how hard it is. dp bumped into our closest friends on sat and when he said i would probably be too tired to go out that night their response was 'well make her have a nap this afternoon' well i did..........slept for three hours....and i was still tired and went to bed early.

what makes things so much easier is i have the greatest dp in the world........tells me to sod the housework if i'm not up to it

hmmmmm this has given me an idea for another thread.....

motherinferior · 07/02/2005 12:09

Girls,

Get yourself, or someone else, to go and get you some Green and Black organic dark chocolate with ginger in. For the nausea, you know.

It may make no difference but it's worth a try, innit

Expectantmum · 07/02/2005 13:46

I have just reached 20 weeks (first pregnancy) and I am obviously one of the lucky ones! I've not experienced any sickness, and although I felt sick in the first couple of weeks, that soon passed. The worse for me was the tiredness, especially working fulltime with two hours a day commuting, I usually found myself in bed by 7pm every night. I also felt far too tired to socialise, I just couldn't be bothered with making the effort. The only advice I would give is try and get your partner to make you a cuppa and have a biscuit about 30 minutes before you have to get out of bed. That definitely helped me. I hope you start to feel better soon!

pooka · 07/02/2005 13:56

With me it's not so much a physical thing (although have felt much worse this time than last time)- it's the constant anxiety about the outcome. The whole first trimester seems to be about leaping over testing "hurdles". You can't feel kicking, and so as far as you know something could have gone wrong/there may be no baby there any more. You're pregnant, but don't show massively and can't really rejoice because it's "early days".
I'm 10 weeks now. Roll on roll on roll on!

Sallie · 07/02/2005 14:00

Pooka - completely agree. My sister went for a routine dating scan last week at 12 weeks and her baby had died at 8 weeks. Very distressing and can't help worrying even more about my impending scan now.

Expectantmum · 07/02/2005 14:01

So mentally, do you feel the same every time? I thought maybe it was just me who had doubts, I found one minute I was completely happy and then the next felt completely unsure as to whether I was ready for the responsibility. My anxieties now are just about the labour, but I guess thats pretty normal too.

maltesers · 07/02/2005 14:08

i have three children now and can remember feeling terribly sick with all of them in first trimster. i guess the best stage if once the sickness has died down and your tum is not too big.then last trimester you feel uncomfortable, no energy and always wanting a wee. best of luck to all you mums to be. its worth it when you get that tiny little baby in your arms. its gorgeous !

orangina · 07/02/2005 14:30

I'm 31 wks pg with my first and I HATED the first 4-5 months of being pg.... it was what we wanted, we were lucky enough to get pg v. quickly so no stress in trying, but more or less as soon as I did the test, I felt immediately overwhelmed, and I haven't slept through the night since. No morning sickness (I was lucky) but the sleep deprivation and horrendous hormonal storms were so awful, I would come home from work each day and just cry at anything, poor dh didn't know how to handle me. BUT, things suddenly perked up in my 2nd trimester (albeit a late starting one), and although my sleep still isn't great, I'm no longer feeling chronically depressed. I second what everyone else here says about just doing whatever feels right for you, even if you sleep at 8pm, have no social life (I just told everyone I was a complete bitch and I would catch up with them when I became human once more), and eat peculiar things at odd times of the day. I treated myself to some acupuncture and reflexology, which helped a bit with the hormones and sleeping, so be as kind to yourself as possible, and remember that you WILL feel better! My energy levels are beginning to dip again now, but am feeling quite perky, and the days are getting longer (which helps, beleive me....). Good luck, and I hope all of you feeling like s**t start feeling better soon ....

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