Messy situation

[Lucyloop99]

Hi.
I did post before about this and the comments were very much get rid , abort , leave him.
Yes I had the abortion booked. But cancelled it because I just couldn't go through with it and the dad didnt want me to.

Im now 9 weeks pregnant.

Back story, ive spent 2 years with a man who's gone between me and his ex of 20 years.
They've had a turbulent relationship during that time. Constantly arguing. Fighting. Breaking up. Getting back together. Then the cycle happens again.

Hes just not that committed to anyone. He goes with whats easiest and what suits him at the time.

So 2 years with this man, february to may we split and he went back to his ex , got her pregnant. She's due in january. She's not let him at scans. Ruined rhe gender reveal by screaming it's a girl in his face during an argument.

Then things went wrong, and he came back to me, got me pregnant.

Told me he didnt really want the baby with her. He's excited for the baby with me. It would be so special. We've a much greater bond than he has with his ex.
When I first found out , he was happy, 3 days later, not selling up where he lives. He chooses her.
Then they fell out, and
Weve spent two weeks being happy about the baby, now hes back to I cant do this. I cant please everyone. I cant support everyone.
She's been on the phone to him tonight crying , and hes now again changing his mind on me and the baby, again.
I'll block you for a few weeks, I need a break ... ive done nothing to warrant being blocked!

I just can't bear myself to abort. But im also gutted im potentially in this on my own.
I feel like ill have lost in a way, if I abort and go no contact.
I dont see why her baby should live, and mine has to die because its inconvenient or becsuse im.not as far on as she is.
Also to add, she did actuallyabort his baby 4 years ago, behind his back, which hes never forgiven her for .
Just ranting I suppose.

Its so easy for strangers to say, just get rid and move on.. its not so easy when youre living it.

You’re not “potentially in on this his on your own” you ARE in this on your own.

Youve made some really foolish decisions in having a relationship with a man that you knew was still in a relationship with someone else. Clearly not a good relationship, but it was never over.

So yes, you need to plan for raising this child alone if you decide to continue with the pregnancy.

This isn't a messy situation, it's a complete shitshow and you are entirely able to sort it out.
Get rid of him. That's completely obvious.
If you can't face termination, I get that, but you are going to have to face facts.
You need to toughen up, stop giving a shit about what's going on between him and his ex, and focus on your children.
It's ridiculous that there's so much competition between you and his ex -he's a man child who just wants a bit of variety at his whim. He is not a catch.

Your poor kids. They deserve so much better.

It wouldn't be simply a case of going it alone if you continue the pregnancy. You'll be tied to him for the rest of your life, and all the children will continue to be affected by the drama.

You are doing the extreme version of the pick me dance. I’ll wager that got you pregnant wasn’t exactly accidental either, especially as you knew she was pregnant.

He still won’t be with you even if you have the baby
hes shown you that
you are on your own
so your choice is abort and that will cut your ties to him as well or keep the baby and accept you’ll be a lone parent
he may throw you a few bread crumbs every so often but you won’t be a happy family with him ever (and why would you what to be?!)

jesus Christ, please don’t bring an innocent baby into this fucked up situation and have more self respect for yourself. Why would you go back after he got his ex pregnant?

@Lucyloop99 here are the facts:
You've introduced a flaky uncommitted guy into your family life for 2 years.
Despite his total unreliability, you've become pregnant in the full knowledge that his other partner is also pregnant.
You don't see why she should have a baby if you can't have yours.
But you don't want the baby as a single parent.
You seriously need to get a grip on reality.
Have the baby and this guy will be back and fore between you and his other baby mummy disrupting everything and disappearing again while you basically do everything day to day.
Don't have the baby and you'll be upset but can draw a line and focus on the children you have.
I hope encouraging their independence isn't another way of saying leaving them to it while you focus on this waste of space...