Such a mess and don't know what to do.

[Lucyloop99]

Hi everyone, I got positive tests 5th october.
I got a 2-3 on Monday and by Friday i had a 3+ .
I was really happy about it, and now im unsure and worried.

I had an ectopic last year so I have a scan booked in on the 19th to see if baby is in the right place.
Baby dad, emotionally unavailable, one minute wants it, next doesnt.
He spent 2 years going between me and his ex (who's also pregnant and due in january) she got pregnant while me and him had properly split earlier in the year.
When we found out Monday he was happy. Wanted the baby, never wanted the one with her. He was selling his house to come near to me, and now hes changed his mind. He's staying put , for her. Then told me to havr the baby but he won't be around for me like I want him to be.

Him and his ex have had a toxic volatile 18 year relationship , on and off all the time. They are just as bad as each other.

Whereas I am the complete opposite to her. I guess some of me can't comprehend why he would wsnt to be with someone like her, after everything hes told me about her. She aborted his baby 4 years ago at 17 weeks without his knowledge.

Im scared, scared in case its ectopic , scared to do it alone, scared If Ill cope or not. Ive already got 2 children, 6 and 8. With an emotionally abusive father, they don't currently see going through the court system. Ive no family around because they don't like him!
Ny mental health isn't great and im awaiting therapy.
So it is just me and the kids, and a potential baby!

Such a mess !! And I just don't know what to do for the best.

Have an abortion, get rid of the partner and focus on being a good mother to the two children you already have.

If you keep this pregnancy by the time your 3rd child is 6 your older kids will be teenagers. Obviously somehow you will all survive but having 2 unreliable father "figures" in your everyday life will create enormous chaos. And impact every member of your family to the point you can't even imagine.

So today I probably made the situation a lot worse.
He had me blocked all weekend, because he was with her and his kids. And the slightest thing you get upset, he will block .
So I let his other pregnant woman know that I was also pregnant .
Probably did that out of spite, to make his life hard.
Once he knew that she knew, he screamed at me down the phone that ill never hear from him again.

Anyway, I lost the plot, got angry. All his stuff is outside my house for collection.

Phone call is Thursday for abortion.
I'd much prefer surgical option, but I have noone to take me there and bring me home.

I don’t think that’s worse, you’ve got rid of him and made a decision about the abortion. Only way is up from here. Take care of yourself OP

Well done for making a brave decision ❤️

You done the right thing. Concentrate on building your life with your two children.

Good for you . Hope Thursday goes well . You know you are doing the right thing for yourself .

Thank you.
I feel so much resentment snd anger that they get this happy ending with a baby, and I don't. Especially when I lost one last year with him , due to an ectopic .
Note he also left me at that point too , I was just too negative for him during that time !

They don’t get a happy ending, they just carry on living in this shit. You get a fresh start with your kids. I’m not saying it’s not tough, but you are better off out of it.

Your fairytale ending can be with your two children in a stable, happy home

He sounds a total total shit

You need to concentrate on the DC you have. Don’t get involved with anyone and let them have some stability in their lives

It doesn't sound like either of them will be happy.

You get to control YOUR happy ending.

I think you've made things better. Stay strong and keep him out of your life.

Why are you even considering having a baby with someone whose partner is actually pregnant? Of course he will let at least one of you down. Even if he did his best ( which he won’t) to be a good father to both babies, his time and finances will be split between the two of them.
You already have no family support, how is this going to impact your existing children? They will get less of everything ( attention, support etc) if you go ahead.
I don’t understand how you can say that you were happy to be pregnant in these circumstances. You knew his girlfriend was pregnant!
The best thing you can do is have a termination, and do it sooner rather than later. And cut this loser out of your life.

Well done, good decision

Good grief, why would any in their right mind bring a poor child in to this shit show?

Quite unnecessary given she’s already booked a termination and thrown him out.

She doesn’t get a happy ending! She gets him. A lying, cheating, sack of shit. He is no prize. Move on from this with your head held high!

Good luck with the termination then draw a line under this whole debacle. Concentrate on the children you do have and don’t give your loser ex boyfriend another second of your time.

So told him id abort ,.his answer was to let him have the baby full time and he'd bring it up with her!
Somewhat delusional .

Guess I really thought by being pregnant , id mean a bit more to him like she does. Nope.
Hes Just made plans he didnt mean again. But now there's a baby !

Had my calls, im consented for medical.abortion depending on my scan Monday and what stage im at.
Based on lmp im 9 weeks ,4 days so cut off it Friday for pills, but my cycles are irregular and long so I think im about 7 weeks actually.
But scared for that scan, as I wonder if I see a baby on the screen I wont want to get rid of it .

They won’t show you the baby on the scan so don’t try and look and carry on with your plan. Don’t try and trap a man with a baby again, it’s an awful choice and as you’ve seen it doesn’t pay off. Stop talking to this guy, have the termination and move on with your life.

Me trapped him ?? What are you talking about?

He wanted this. He stopped me having a sterilisation in july. Because he wanted a baby with me.

I mean because you got pregnant thinking it’d make him want you more, despite knowing about the other woman. That never works

I got pregnant based on what shit he spouted out his mouth about selling his house and moving in with me , about him wanting a family with me , about how much better I was than her, how much he loved me, how much of a nasty woman she was.
How he never wsnted a baby with her , how it felt right to have a baby with me.

I didnt get pregnant for only that reason, but yeah I did think he'd think a bit more of the pregnancy and baby, and me, based on the above!

Youre a bit quick to blame aren't you.

I don't think it's about blame. I think it's about taking responsibility

You deserve to be with a man whose actions line up with his words