Should I ask for early induction so my gran can meet baby?

[BluntLemonDreamer]

Needing some advice/perspective.

My gran, who is in her late 90s is dying. She is staying at home as per her wishes and our family are caring for her, like we did with our Pop. She isn't going to die like tomorrow, but she is very quickly deteriorating.
I am currently 36 weeks pregnant, I visit her every week and she is so very excited to meet this baby, which is our 3rd. She has many grandchildren/great grandchildren and has just met her 2nd great great grandchild this month. These 2 babies have been spurring her along our whole pregnancies.

So here's where I need some advice or a head check. I have a consultant appointment this week and was going to ask what were the chances of me being induced in the next 2 weeks, in the hope that she gets to meet our baby. My husband will support me on this, but isn't sure its the best idea, and nor do I, but I just get so upset at the thought of her passing without meeting this baby. DS1 was an EMCS, DS2 (20 months later) was a non medicated VBAC (with a later epidural for manual placenta removal) and I am very much hoping for a VBAC for this one too. (11 years between DS2 and this baby, but not sure that matters). I know that any induction (not a full induction due to previous section) runs the risk of a VBAC being unsuccessful as does if baby isn't really ready then there is more risk of interventions but I'm seriously considering trying it anyway, just for my gran to meet this baby...that's if the consultant agrees that is.

So am I being stupid to consider this? Gently help a stressed and hormonal mama out please 😩

Thanks if you got this far.

I would do what’s best for the baby.

I lost my grandmother around this long into in the pregnancy and it was hard. But don't do it. Let your child come into the world as easily and gently as possible, with the fewest risk of complications. Grieving is hard enough as it is, and so is having a newborn.

Ps: We picked the middle name to honour my brandmother.

No. Babies are disadvantaged even by mild prematurity. There are studies that show population IQ differences between babies born at 37-38 weeks (early term) and 39-41 weeks. Under no circumstances should you disadvantage your unborn child for this. Doubt the consultant would agree anyway. Sorry about your gran. 🌷

Sorry to hear about your gran but I'm sure she would want you to have a healthy full term baby and you put yourself or your baby at risk. You may not need a vbac, congratulations on your pregnancy.

You've got to do what’s best for your baby. Trying to get it to come out early when there’s no medical need isn’t great, complications could happen.

My grandmother died a few weeks before meeting my son, who would have been her first great grandchild. And it pains me!

But I would absolutely not request an induction early unless it was medically necessary. I also wouldn't be happy with a consultant who agreed to even consider an induction this early.

Have definitely seen inductions for similar reasons before - only way you’ll find out if it’s a safe option for you is to ask them.

No consultant or hospital would agree to induce early for this reason, it’s against the guidelines.

I am sorry about your Grandmother but think this is a crazy idea. Imagine if something went wrong?? Sorry to introduce the idea but its a posibility. I honestly dont think the consultant would agree to it in any case.

I would (possibly) request an induction if it meant a terminally ill father could see his child. Other than this, I wouldn’t. Not least because if it did go wrong the impact on everybody, and your relationship with your DH, would be appalling.

I didn’t even consider it for my very, very ill sister. And she would never have expected me to.

Sorry you are going through this, OP. 💐

I think 37w is too early if you want honest opinions. I know its technically term (although some places have recategorised as "early term") but my 38w spontaneous labour baby was very small, slow to feed, sleepy, took ages to get going. It caused us lots of issues post partum, and I always felt like she could have done with a bit more cooking. You might have one that doesnt have any of those issues, but if not, will you regret an early induction?

Obviously none of us have your notes / scans, so see what your consultant says. I think someone in the media recently said they got an induction for this reason (was it Mollie from the Saturdays?) So it might be possible? If you do go for an early induction, make sure they get the epidural going before the drip starts.

Honestly whilst I can see and understand your viewpoint it would not be in babies best interest to be born early just so they can meet her.

I would imagine almost all medical professionals would advice against this because it puts baby at a greater risk for no reasonable purpose.

You need to put the needs of the baby first.

if anything it will be the circle of life, as one life passes another begins. Let your baby be the new beginning, bring the joy back to life.

I’m sorry OP.

I don’t think it’s in the baby’s best interests at all, and I wouldn’t think a consultant would agree to it for the sake of a very elderly grandparent. I’m sure your gran wants her great-grandchildren to be healthy and given the best start, and while it’s sad if she doesn’t meet this one, gently she has lived longer than most people and this is her time. Focus on spending the time she has left with her and let your unborn baby grow how nature intends.

Both of my babies were born early

DD was 38+4 weighing 5lb 13 oz
DS was 37+3 weighing 5lb 4oz

They both had really bad colic, and ds ended up having CMPA. Coincidence? Maybe we will never know, but you need to do what’s right for your baby.

Being premature could potentially negatively affect your baby's entire life. This is a really bad idea.
Also, what if you induce early, baby ends up in Intensive Care as a result and your Gran still doesn't get to meet the baby because baby is so sick?

I agree with others that gently no I wouldn't. My twins were born at 36w and although are ok now struggled early on with even slight prematurity. However the main thing I wanted to share was theat I lost my own gran at 94 back in November and she hung on for a lot longer than anyone was expecting... She was properly tough and I hope I have inherited her resilience! I must have said final goodbyes to her about 10 times over 8 weeks and then she would look awful and I go round the next morning and she would be smiling and having breakfast...the end might not be as near as it feels.

This, and I’m absolutely sure your dgm would agree. I’m sorry you’re in such a sad family situation so close to giving birth, but you need to do what’s best for your baby who has a whole lifetime ahead of them

Hey Op sorry to hear about your gran, I can understand as I adore my own grandmother . Not the same but I requested an induction early as previous babies had been over 11lbs and they left me go over due and nearly killed me. So at 38 weeks I went to my appointment with crutches and told them my pelvis was in a bad way and I couldn’t walk properly , it was actually v sore but I hammed it up , they agreed to induce me as worried this baby would be another big one and I was traumatised from last two. They induced me at 38weeks and 5 days exactly. Baby was born weighting 7.10lbs perfectly healthy .

If you'd have said 39 weeks I'd have said go for it. But before 39 weeks there is a lot more risk for baby regarding breathing difficulties etc and needing NICU stays.

I doubt a consultant would agree for it, but how would you feel if you put yourself and baby through an induction at 38 weeks, it not work because neither of you are ready, EMCS, baby in NICU and you're in hospital recovering. Time which could have been spent healthy and happy at her bedside.

Your grandma is in her 90s, she's had a wonderful and full life. Don't risk disadvantaging your new baby for a potential meeting that will in no way benefit grandma or baby. If you asked her she wouldn't want you to, she would want baby health to come first. Could you look at having a private 4D scan you could show her?

There is no way in which an induction is in the baby’s best interests. That should be your only consideration. I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. It must be very hard for you

My first birth was following an induction (due to wrong medical advice, the issue they suspected was not there, so the induction was unnecessary) and I honestly think the baby wasn’t ready to be born and everything was more difficult as a result (a LOT of crying, difficult to settle, struggled to establish breastfeeding, struggled to stay asleep, everything was a fight). My second was full term and I immediately noticed the difference a couple of weeks made to the baby’s development.

Inductions are sometimes necessary and it’s great that the option is there, but I wouldn’t choose to have one unless medically required.

I’m very sorry for your grandmother, but you should do what’s best for you and the baby.

Please don't - the longer baby can stay inside the better, unless there is an actual medical need that means they're safer in than out... I know it's really hard though xx

I’d agree with others and not do this. I had twins at 36 weeks and the difference between them and my sturdy full termers was marked. 11 now and all evened out but lots of respiratory illnesses when they were small. I did have an induction at 40 weeks partially due to moving house but he was 9 2oz so he was ready.

It’s such a bad idea and deep down you know it