Experience in telling people early

[DramaHedgehog]

Whats your experience with telling people about your pregnancy early we are 10 weeks and have had an early scan and we're so excited but wanted some real life stories first!

3 kids and I told everyone before the pee on the stick was dry.

Others don't tell till much later and that's up to them 🤷‍♂️

Doesn’t this depend on the outcome? I imagine if you lose a baby shortly after telling people early you have a very different view than if not.

I told a few early. All was fine.

Most people like to wait until 12 weeks when the risk of miscarriage dramatically drops.

With our first pregnancy, we told people quite early on (5-6 weeks) because I was having brown bleeding and was anxious so told our parents and also because my hen do was coming up so I wouldn’t be drinking. Unfortunately, I lost that pregnancy at 10 weeks. I don’t regret telling my friends and family as we had support.

The second time we got pregnant I told family and friends early again, we had a successful pregnancy

Now Pregnant again (third trimester) and we told everyone early

My advice is just tell people that you know you’d want support from if anything was to happen. I knew the family and best friends we told were the people I would of gone to if we had bad news anyway, so I didn’t feel the need to hide the pregnancy from them x

Years ago a pregnancy was not revealed until at least 12 weeks along.

I think back along, quite a few pregnancies were lost before then so expectant parents kept quiet.

Also for those looking on, it can seem like the longest gestation in history if you tell too soon. It’s a personal choice but frankly, maybe more discrete to wait a bit longer.

Good luck and hopes that all goes well. 💐

Same!

Check out the current thread where OPs MIL is driving her crazy, then think about it a bit more. I would leave it a while for the peace.

Same.
We had a loss but it was lovely to have had the joy of sharing our happiness.
i honesty don’t understand why people keep it a big secret until 12 weeks. It’s not a guarantee of anything.
I loved telling people straight away.

disclaimer before everyone jumps on me: each to their own!

If you want to tell people early then do!
Its your news, the way that people react is down to them.

I was always super conscious of trying my very very best to have look of happiness for friends on my face while feeling crushing desolation inside due to multiple miscarriages and infertility.

It was tough but it was my issue not theirs.

It is just fabulous news, people will be super excited for you xx

I told my family as soon as I found out both times. Then my husbands family and others found out about 10 weeks in where we had an early scan. It’s totally individual. My thinking behind it was I’d be happy to tell these people if I had a miscarriage so I’d tell them I was pregnant!

A routine scan is 12 weeks I always waited until after this. For all of my 3

Had to tell PIL I was pregnant really early because they were talking about booking an abroad holiday for us all when I would be too pregnant to travel. Ended as a chemical pregnancy.

Had to tell my parents when I was about 6/7 weeks for the same reason. DS is now 2.

Congratulations! It seems you want to tell people so just do it. Nobody here will be able to tell you how they will react obviously but if you're excited go for it!

Im so glad there is lots of positive opinions on this we found out very very early and somehow have managed to not say anything! I had the exact conversation of the people who would support us if things were to go wrong we can tell now but we didn't know what opinions were.

I have actually read the recent post about the OP MIL driving her crazy and it made me feel sad that most of the responses are telling her to get professional help without any knowledge she isn't already doing this... I also have anxiety and just because I have help doesn't mean im not anxious. She seams to have face alot of rather rude comments about her husband when it sounds like he wasn't trying to mansplain child birth to his mum more explain that that's why they felt they needed time but i can see how that may have touched a few nerves. I have chosen to stay out of that thread from now as I cant imagine how horrible that poor girl is feeling 💔

First time around we told both parents just after finding out, we then miscarried and although they were lovely and a huge support I felt guilty for getting their hopes up (silly really!). I’m pregnant again now and we’re waiting till after 12 weeks to say anything this time.

There’s not a right or wrong way to do it, each to their own as they say!

congratulations ☺️

We told friends and family straight away but I was very upfront that it was early days and chances of a miscarriage are high early on. I wanted to have support if anything happened. No regrets at all.

Same here. Told my mum, sister and DH’s mum as they were the people who would know no matter what the outcome.

I would only tell those who you would tell if you miscarried.

I told people early. Much earlier than 10 weeks. Because I wanted to share the news, and I wanted to be able to call on support if anything went wrong- which it did once. I just don’t understand the “not til 12 weeks” thing.

3 pregnancies, first ended in early miscarriage, maintained the same attitude with the subsequent ones of deliberately telling parents, PIL and siblings right away and then a "don't mention, don't hide" policy otherwise.

So if someone asked anything about why J wasn't drinking or eating a particular food or whatever I didn't ever bother lying about it but didn't necessarily bring it up.

I never made any big announcement at any point. Much preferred the news leaking out. When I was telling people before the first scan I made it clear it was early days so anything could happen.

The reason people keep quiet is because there is nothing more painful than telling people and for everyone to get excited and then having to back a short time later and say “well actually the baby died” and having to deal with their sadness / disappointment at a time when you are devastated yourself.

Surely you can reason this out for yourself?

Miscarriages are awful, especially multiple ones.

I can only speak for myself. After 4yrs TTC I finally got pregnant. I paid for the NIPT at 11weeks and had a BBQ planned with my mum and brother/SIL the weekend after the results were to come through. Unfortunately the NIPT showed patau syndrome and I chose TFRM. I told my mum after the TFMR because I didnt want her to worry at the time.

Early in my relationship, MIL made it clear that she never kept secrets and would tell anyone, anything she wanted to. As a result, she knows absolutely nothing about our 12yr struggle to conceive, 3 losses or rounds of IVF. We will never have our own children now. I know she would have told extended family any details she could have so am 100% happy about our decision.

Some need the support of their family and there is no right or wrong.

I would have told my family if I had a miscarriage, so happy to tell them I was pregnant. I ended up telling work too pretty early, as I was really sick and wanted them to cut me some slack, but I know many don't. (I'm also lucky that work wouldn't hold it against me.)

I personally didn’t tell anyone until I’d had the 12 week scan. My reasons being that I wanted to have some (I know nothing is ever 100%) reassurance things would be okay before sharing. If I had miscarried I’d have told my parents and closest friends about it for support but then it would have been without the added heartbreak of getting their hopes up before hand.

It’s completely personal decision though and I’d never judge anyone who did tell people immediately. I’m just quite a private person and feel like pregnancy falls into the ‘medical info’ category for the first bit at least.

We told people at 10 weeks with our second.

DH was about to be deployed. It was his goodbye party. There would have been qursfions about me not drinking. And I would need support if I had miscarried as he was leaving. And he eanted to tell his family himself.

Everyone was thrilled. And were a great support over the next 7 months when i was pregnant with a 1yo toddler, and then with a newborn and toddler until he was home.