Struggling with anxiety at 8 weeks pregnant after previous stillbirth

[rosepedal]

Really not coping. 8 weeks pregnant after a full term stillborn. I thought my appointment to confirm pregnancy was today and tuns out its tomorrow. I know its not a big deal .But for me right now it feels like a HUGE deal. I dont have any bleeding or cramping so no reason to believe anythnig is wrong. But my mind is all over the place. Like whats if its a cyst giving off Hcg or an empty sac...Its a lot.

I have no personal experience of what you are going through but my heart goes out to you. I don't know if you are aware of The worst girl gang ever website and podcast. Lots of amazing support available there from women who have experienced infertility , miscarriage and baby loss.
Your anxiety is understandable but you will be ok. Sending lots of love to you x ❤️

It's so much. I genuinely thought I was going to lose my mind in my second pregnancy after losing the first (and that was only at 11 weeks). Nothing worked miracles but for me it did get easier as the pregnancy progressed. I found it easier to avoid any baby loss related content - I rewatched films like Harry Potter that I found soothing, and tried to get out for some gentle exercise. tried to remember that I couldn't do anything to affect the outcome.
did you have counselling after the baby loss? I did and that did help me feel more mentally ready for the next pregnancy.

Oh bless you. I am so so sorry you are going through this. I had a 32 week stillbirth nearly 19 years ago and I STILL remember how utterly horrific it was, and actually the next pregnancy was even worse than the original loss.

Sending my absolute sympathies and so much goodwill. I know I found the SANDS forums really useful.

how do i know its not a cyst or empty sac or whatever? i have to wait

Will you find that out tomorrow anyway? I did book a private early scan in the end as I was sending myself crazy with worry.

Yes but as crazy as it sounds the difference between an appointment today and tomorrow seems like the biggest deal, even though its really not.

So sorry I didn’t mean that it was only tomorrow - god knows I know the agony of waiting for an appt.

I more meant will you get a scan or anything tomorrow or will it just be form filling in?

I’m just worried you’ll feel disappointed when they can’t tell you anything and just make you fill forms in.

no they will give me an ultrasound

Oh fantastic. That’s great news! I’d divide the time into single hour (or even 30 mins) slots and tick the off when you get through each one.

true. thats why im feeling dejected bec i did that until now and than i have to wait another 24 hours. but i will get through this! I can do hard things.

I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant after losing twins shortly after they were born, my advice is take everything day by day don’t look at it as I’ve 32weeks until they are here, set little goals so we had let’s get to viability scan, okay that’s done now let’s get to 12 weeks. In my head it was easier dealing with it in small chunks than looking too far ahead!
push for extra care and scans if they haven’t already been organised as they are super helpful to know everything going fine! And come up with some coping mechanisms for hospital appointments and things you might not be triggered by them but I was and I had to come up with ways to deal with that!

BeRedLemu-Your a hero! Wow! I thought to myself i just need to get to this first scan. Although i am telling myself everything will be fine and there is no reason for me to believe it isnt, i cant wait for my brain to know it and not only my heart.

You can!! And yes it’s all about just getting through each stage. Keep us posted.

My second baby was stillborn just into my 3rd trimester, and my next pregnancy was horrific. There isn't any easy way to get through it, it's extremely tough and your mental health goes to complete shit. They are very vigilant with you, and I had a lot of extra tests/appointments especially around the time of my last loss.

You'll get through it

Whoa, its hard! Its not something i cant even put into words. But i keep on telling myself "i can do hard things!"

@rosepedal i found it so much easier to just be like let’s get to this scan! Small milestones and then all of a sudden your abour to give birth!
And lean on people, don’t put on a brave face if you are having a tough day tell people today’s been really hard or if you need to hibernate in house do it!
Ive done whatever I needed to do to get through this pregnancy!! If I can do it you can do it!!

So true. Im putting myself completely first.

Really sorry you’re feeling like this after such a loss. Your anxiety is completely understandable. Nothing you’ve said here suggests anything is wrong, but after a stillbirth it’s very hard not to stop worrying. Hopefully tomorrow.

Thank you for your kind words. Anyone know how common an empty sac is or anything esle it can be.

Did anyone have an empty sac and felt a difference?

I didn’t experience that so I’m sorry I can’t help there but I just wanted to say how much I feel your desperation and have so much empathy for you. It’s so bloody hard.

Thank you, you are so sweet. I get so excited when someone responds.

I had a missed miscarriage before my twin pregnancy, I found out at 9 weeks and nothing had grown since 5 weeks, but I had no
pregnancy symptoms at all compared with my other pregnancies. But I know other people
who had all the symptoms and found out that growth had stopped earlier on.

good luck for tomorrow and do update us and let us know how you get on!

Aww bless you OP.
I didnt want to read and run, I'm really sorry for your previous loss.

I have no personal experience with what your going through but I did suffer from severe anxiety during my last pregnancy due to a lot of health issues with the pregnancy (me) and it helped knowing that I could just call the unit and I would be able to go in to get baby checked/ for reassurance etc.

I was probably in most weeks towards the end which is a good thing as it picked up my gestational diabetes at 33 weeks (having passed two GGT test) which otherwise would of potentially been missed.

As I suffered from a major complication during birth (baby was fine) the midwives have advised me that for my next pregnancy there will be a big red banner alert on there system and I will be automatically be under consultant lead care and be offered more monitoring, maybe this will be the same for you?

Wishing you all the best, and praying you have a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery.

xxx

Thank you for your response! Im so glad everything went well for you in the end.