Reasonable to ask for shorter office days from 16 weeks?

[NeatAmberPoster]

I’m now 16 weeks pregnant, and struggling with exhaustion mostly from struggling to sleep every night as well as nausea/sickness which comes and goes all day. It’s got to a point where I struggle to drive later in the day. I work at an office where our time is monitored to the minute and have to clock in a minimum billable amount of time every day, so workload is still unchanged and makes it harder to take rest breaks away from a screen.

I work 8/9 hour days with requirement to be in the office 3 days a week. I’ve had a fit note recommending WFH which is being respected so far, but I do feel there is some pressure to be in the office. When I do go in I feel worse, the lights are so bright, they have the music on loud and I have the commute to stress about. I do also think my iron levels have dropped considering I was anemic before pregnancy, but fortunately worked on this and was in normal range for the first time in many years before expecting.

Would it be reasonable to request making up my office requirement over a few mornings, considering this keeps me out of busy rush hour evening traffic when I’m most tired? I just don’t want to be in a full day or commit to a day, feel like 2/3 mornings are more manageable for meetings and seeing people at least without completely wiping myself out. I need the lunchtime naps at home to get through the day! I do have annual leave to use which I was thinking of leaving until the last few months to reduce my week, or shorten days. Or has someone else done something else entirely that helped? Ideally want to keep working at least until 34-36 weeks for financial reasons and avoid taking sick considering my job can be completely remote.

So, what’s actually wrong? Because it sounds like you just have normal pregnancy symptoms. Most people do actually go to work when pregnant.

You can ask them to make an adjustment and let you work fully from home, or ask for the mornings as you’ve suggested and just see what they say. But it doesn’t sound like you have anything specific that would be diagnosed other than “pregnant” so they might not agree. All you can do is ask.

My only concern is that they’ll just say you have to take sick leave which means starting your mat leave early.

You want to reduce from 4 months pregnant? This is always alien to me. Yes you’re pregnant but you’ll likely be far more exhausted returning to work after maternity leave with a baby who doesn’t sleep (maybe yours will). If you were 7 months I might feel differently but some women seem to pull the dramatics just because they’re pregnant. It makes it harder for women to get employed.

You might find you start to feel better, the first trimester and a few weeks after have always been the worst for me, from about 19 weeks to the last couple before birth I felt great with both of mine, back to having lots of energy, first trimester nausea and exhaustion gone, etc.

If there are pregnancy complications which are significantly affecting your health, then you can ask for adjustments. You would probably need a fit note to support any request though. As a pp has said, most people do work normally through pregnancy but if there are specific reasons why you can't do this, then there is no harm to ask.

Well I disagree with you, I had severe morning sickness and I had to go on half days for a while after sick leave as I was so poorly and couldn’t drive home after.

Some people have symptoms that genuinely affect their lives. I was so poorly until about 20 weeks

OP is your nausea severe? Are you on anti sickness tablets? Are you able to ask your GP to send you a note to request half days x

I think most people just crack on and make it work OP, most women feel sick and exhausted when pregnant, you just have to get on with it. In my experience the second trimester exhaustion lifted a bit around 18 weeks. No harm in asking I guess but they may push you to take sick leave. If you can maybe see if you can delay making a decision for another few weeks to see if the tired levels get better

But that would be an actual diagnosis. You were actually suffering from complications. OP is not. Hers sounds like a very normal
pregnancy. Sorry, but women who do this make it harder for every other woman or child bearing age in the workplace.

YABU. You’re 16 weeks, not 36 and you only work 8/9 hours 3 days a week. Sounds like you’re already doing the bare minimum and wanting to do even less.
If I was your employer I’d be very unimpressed and frankly annoyed.

That only applies is you’re off for pregnancies reasons after 36 weeks.

I was signed off for 3 months at the start of both my pregnancies due to severe sickness - for DD1, the company didn’t allow wfh so I was just off completely, for DD2 they did so the fit note said fit to work if I was able to wfh. If you’re struggling to drive OP, I think it’s totally reasonable to speak to your GP about it. Are you on any anti sickness medication?

I have to agree with this.
Some women do just feel like complete shit for the entire 9 months, with one thing and another. I know I did. It's one of those things. Working on your resilience now will certainly help for when baby arrives.

You need to be careful, they can trigger your maternity earlier than you want if it is causing too much disruption.
I'm not trying to minimise how you are feeling but honestly, just wait until you have a 1 year old who has had you up every hour night after night and then you will know exhaustion and you just have to get on with it.

They can only start her maternity leave after 36 weeks.

Well said!

I think you are getting an unnecessarily hard time OP. Only you know how you feel, you can only ask for the adjustment. They may not agree to it as it will depend whether in their view you are meeting the needs of the service- otherwise they may advise you to go off sick.

I would try antisickness meds for the nausea too if you haven't already. You may also find you feel better as you get further into the second trimester.

Have you had your iron levels checked recently? That would be my first port of call.
My iron levels have been low or borderline low in all of my pregnancies and I’ve been amazed by how much better I feel after I start taking iron supplements every single time.

God, the UK is miserable. Where I am, you get a legal right to 1h ready per day, with a quiet place to nap provided by work from day 1 of pregnancy. You can ask, but given the miserable fuckers on here, it doesn't sound promising that they'll say yes.

If i was on full pay I would just go off sick if I were you - they can’t start your maternity leave until 36 weeks. You’re struggling, who cares what anyone else thinks? Look after yourself and your baby .

Feel free to use non UK based sites then, nobody is making you stay here! Of course the UKs maternity stance is the fault of women on mumsnet 🙄

Seconding this and do ask them to check your ferritin levels. My haemoglobin levels were in range which is all the GP wanted to look at and therefore I was fine apparently (despite having all the symptoms of low iron). However my test was done at triage where they looked at ferritin too so I asked them to take another look and they gave me ferritin sulphate presceiption. My ferritin was 9 which is super low. Felt much much better for medication.

The commute may be the easiest thing to change - that’s what I found anyway - even if a more manageable alternative takes a bit longer or costs a bit more than your usual.