Reasonable to ask for shorter office days from 16 weeks?

[NeatAmberPoster]

I’m now 16 weeks pregnant, and struggling with exhaustion mostly from struggling to sleep every night as well as nausea/sickness which comes and goes all day. It’s got to a point where I struggle to drive later in the day. I work at an office where our time is monitored to the minute and have to clock in a minimum billable amount of time every day, so workload is still unchanged and makes it harder to take rest breaks away from a screen.

I work 8/9 hour days with requirement to be in the office 3 days a week. I’ve had a fit note recommending WFH which is being respected so far, but I do feel there is some pressure to be in the office. When I do go in I feel worse, the lights are so bright, they have the music on loud and I have the commute to stress about. I do also think my iron levels have dropped considering I was anemic before pregnancy, but fortunately worked on this and was in normal range for the first time in many years before expecting.

Would it be reasonable to request making up my office requirement over a few mornings, considering this keeps me out of busy rush hour evening traffic when I’m most tired? I just don’t want to be in a full day or commit to a day, feel like 2/3 mornings are more manageable for meetings and seeing people at least without completely wiping myself out. I need the lunchtime naps at home to get through the day! I do have annual leave to use which I was thinking of leaving until the last few months to reduce my week, or shorten days. Or has someone else done something else entirely that helped? Ideally want to keep working at least until 34-36 weeks for financial reasons and avoid taking sick considering my job can be completely remote.

I probably should have added in there that I do have underlying health issues including severe asthma which has also flared up in the last few weeks too. I was very fortunate with a symptom free first trimester. I have more frequent consultant appointments as well than most already due to being on a new biologic injection too. So this already made me feel awful, and since I took the last one all the pregnancy symptoms have definitely flooded in and just feeling dreadful. So no it’s not just normal pregnancy symptoms that everyone has.

I already have seen a gp and have a fit note to recommend WFH, and my question was simply if it was reasonable to ask for office mornings, wfh afternoons. In absolutely no way do I intend to reduce my hours, I want to work around it as much as I can up until the last week. Equally hoping for the pregnancy glow everyone bangs on about to feel better. It’s just sometimes management can be tricky and I just feel guilty for not being in the office which increases anxiety.

to answer someone else’s question I am anaemic, was before pregnancy so iron levels are back on the low side again. Sickness is sporadic and mostly afternoon/evenings, hence wfh is easier, nausea is constant.

Some women feel much, much worse in the earlier weeks than the third trimester. I had HG and couldn’t work from 4 weeks. Every pregnancy is different.

This is just standard pregnancy symptoms and I hate to say, it doesn’t get any better. I’m 33 weeks now and work in A&E, do a whole array of shifts and I’m absolutely exhausted, in pain and cannot wait to finish in 3 weeks. My work have been amazing and made lots of reasonable adjustments for me. I’d wait until you are further along before making massive changes to be honest

It’s a combination of anxiety from some management that though they seem happy for me to WFH, I kind of get a sense they would like me to be in. So I’m happy to find a middle ground, because most symptoms are manageable in the morning unless I’ve had a particularly bad night of sickness/no sleep/asthma. Plus in my role I do need to be available for client meetings, so again just want to make sure I can meet those requirements as and when needed.

You have a doctor’s note saying you’re only fit to WFH, so why haven’t you put your foot down? You are having a rough pregnancy, so it doesn’t matter how many weeks you are.

the pregnancy glow everyone bangs on about

That is an old wives tale. It’s a flowery way to pretend that having a sweaty oily face when you’re lumbering around like a heffalump is actually attractive.

I had a much easier time with my daughter - worked up until a few days before having her, just the typical first trimester sickness, uncomfortable 3rd trimester etc.

I had severe, nonstop nausea with my son. All day, every day from week 4 until I gave birth after begging for an induction at 38 weeks. That was an entirely different situation and nothing at all like the other experience. I was signed off to half days from around 12 weeks in - kept assuming I’d get better but never did. My boss and workplace were amazing and worked around me the entire time - and I’d only been there a year. I’m still there now and am fiercely loyal as they were so good to me.

Anecdotes aside, I think given that you have no obligation to be in the office at all, telling them your plan is to work mornings - when able - and go home at lunchtime is a reasonable compromise. Am just worried about you driving when you’re most tired as you said you need a lunchtime nap.

Your iron levels can drop very quickly when pregnant. Doesn’t matter how well you have prepared, have them checked again

So the GP was wrong in their assessment … ?

Occupational Health or HR might have a different view if you were advised to work from home and didn’t do that, irrespective of management.

That puts you at risk, and your employer too.

do you intend to ignore all medical advice given to you and your unborn child?

I wonder if you're overthinking it. How long is the fit note for? I would suggest complying with the wfh advice for the next two or four weeks (depending on the fit note) and then reviewing after that. Most people do start to feel much better around 19/20 weeks and hopefully you will be one of them. I'm sure your work will be happy with that too.

You have a fit note recommending WFH so WFH, you need to put yourself first right now.

Some people are being unbelievably harsh on here, yeah pregnancy isn’t an illness but most women don’t just sail through it and some have a really hard time. If you can’t give yourself a break when you’re pregnant when can you?

I really don’t understand why women are expected to just soldier on when they are suffering from female only ailments. It’s so bloody unfair! Periods, pregnancy, menopause….bad luck, crack on anyway. Surely if you feel like crap then you feel like crap and act accordingly. Bloody patriarchy is the problem, as usual. Sorry, grump over! 😁

The doctor says wfh is the best thing for your health, your pregnancy, your baby. You can have client meetings remotely if needed surely, your employer will have to find a way.

You sound like you’re feeling wretched and have an awful lot going on so ignore any hints about them preferring you to be in, you need to follow your doctor’s advice and prioritise your health.

BTW the famous glow is sweat. With one of mine I sweated constantly and had to mop under my fringe regularly. With the other I was freezing cold most of the time and instead of sweating my skin was so dry it was flaking off. Please don’t worry about how you think things should be or feel, focus on nourishing yourself, resting.

What iron tablets are you currently on? You can ask the midwife or GP to up your prescription if you are still anemic while on the tablets. My levels were very low at 9 and feeling so much better now I’ve upped my dosage