Well, I think its happening again.

[Sleepymum171288]

Hi everyone,

So here I am, 37, early perimenopause, two children already. DH decides to upnthe bedroom gymnastics frequency to as many days as possible, and the last 3 times his condom didn't just split i felt the dang thing explode. Now its been over 3-4 weeks and I've been nauseous for the last few days, acidity in my stomach which doesn't happen unless I'm pregnant (happen with my last 2), and my bathroom breaks have been more numerous and just plain irritating.

Now I'm not new to this and I definitely will give it a few more days before testing, the test packs are staring at me and I'm feeling impatient, but I will persevere, till atleast this Saturday (hopefully). However, I'd like to ask, did anyone else get symptoms during a second or third pregnancy this early? Because it feels too early to me.....

My symptoms were almost immediate upon fertilisation 😆

with my first pregnancy I knew the day before I tested. It was so obvious that something major was occurring inside me. I was right.

I’ve had a couple other pregnancies that ended in miscarriage and the same thing happened. It was literally within days that the symptoms started

Does your DH unilaterally "decide to up the bedroom gymnastics frequency" or do you get a say in it?

Anyway just do a test, if it's been 3-4 weeks since you think you conceived. I don't know why you haven't already!?

@SanctiMoaniArse nowadays I've been too tired and just not bothered, so whenever he asks "can we?" I just.... lie still and tell him "if you must, you must" 😂😂

I guess a part of me is worrying about how I'll finish my final year of studies if I am pregnant, and also I don't want to pointlessly hype myself up only to be disappointed. Since my period is due in another 2 days, I thought I'd just wait...

🫠

If your period is due in 2 days, just do a test. It'll be pretty accurate.

But honestly I'm worried about your wording... DH decided to up the anti in the bedroom and frequency. And you just lie there to let him do what he wants? That's not a healthy marriage...

whenever he asks "can we?" I just.... lie still and tell him "if you must, you must" 😂😂

Well I'm glad you think that's funny...

Also, clearly the contraception isn’t working.

If it’s been 3-4 weeks since you had unprotected sex it will definitely show up on a test now. Doesn’t quite add up though with still not being due on your period for 2 days. The average luteal phase between ovulation and period is 10-14 days. If you ovulated early though and conceived 3 or 4 weeks ago you’re at least 5-6 weeks pregnant now so it will definitely show on a test. And that absolutely isn’t too early for symptoms.

I don’t understand. Do you want to be pregnant? If not, why not take the morning after pill following the condom ‘exploding’ incidents?

Ick

How WEIRD.

You sound like you'd rather have a hole in the head than be pregnant again, and you sound utterly blasé about your husband's grim approach to consent, and neither of you seems to care about effective contraception.

Is he trying to get you to give up your Masters?

Sounds like he's not wearing the correct size condom 😬

I have to agree that your wording is a little unclear. Do you want a baby? If not, why didn’t you do something more proactive to prevent it happening?? I am presuming that that stuff about ‘lying back’ is meant to be tongue in cheek cheek?

I know you’re trying to be lighthearted but this is seriously concerning and not actually funny.

I am expecting our oops baby in a few months. No symptoms apart from feeling a bit off and tested when i was 4 days late. Dark pink line! If you have tests already i would just do one now and see.

This is very weird.

Your husband needs to buy new condoms, if they've split three times in a row. And you should have some agency in your sex life and with whether you get pregnant or not.

You don’t want to “hype yourself up only to be disappointed” ?

But everything else you’ve said suggests you don’t want to be pregnant.

I don’t understand.

What condoms are you buying that have broken 3 times? Very strange post.

Just pee on a stick and take it from there. No need to write such a bizarre, dramatic post when you clearly already know the facts of life and exactly what may or may not happen.

Exploding condoms 🤨

I don't get how you're on the one hand apparently motivated enough to undertake further study while being completely blase about being pregnant or not. Seeing as you're so laid back could you lend me a large amount of money? It would just be one of those quirky things.

What an earth am I reading. Quite a few red flags here for me.

You shouldn’t be letting your DH just “do sex” if you’re not interested.

If you have other kids and you’re studying then IMO it would be really unwise to have to stop your course unless you really desperately want a child, which doesn’t seem to be the case here.

If you’re having such an issue with condoms then I think you might need to think about more reliable contraception. But obviously probably work out whether you are pregnant first.

If you are, can you work out if you can pause your course and carry on asap (quite a few places have a decent childcare).

Honestly though you seem incredibly passive and as though you think you just have to go along with life/ your DH. Which to me does seem a bit odd at your age TBH.

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to clear up a few things.

First of all I've had very low sex drive for over 2 years. I've been tested by the GP and she says I'm at the very early stages of perimenopause. I was also quite sick last October and November, which caused my sex drive to really plummet.

Now about my comment on not really wanting sex but still giving him the "green light" for lack of a better word. Its just the way I am and I've not been mentally or emotionally affected by this. I unfortunately have always had a "meh" attitude to sex, so its probably just me.

Do I want another child? Yes. Were we planning to have another one right now? No. And yes, wrong condom size, I've told him and he's going to get the bigger sized ones from now on.

The first time the condom split, I didn't realise. He realised and told me. The second time we both realised and the last time, it was my stupid suggestion to try it with the wrong size condom.

Now, to clear up the biggest confusion, and I'm sorry this was my absolute idiotic brain messing up my own timeline. I had my last period on the 15th of March, finished around 28th-29th March. Had "bedroom gymnastics" about a day or two later.

I did take a test last night, negative, probably too early.

For the comment someone left about dramatic post. I feel you. I'm a creative writer, our lot tend to be dramatic by default. Sorry.

Now about my comment on not really wanting sex but still giving him the "green light" for lack of a better word. Its just the way I am and I've not been mentally or emotionally affected by this. I unfortunately have always had a "meh" attitude to sex, so its probably just me.

I highly doubt you've not been affected.
I cannot fathom not wanting to have sex and just keep "laying there" and giving someone the "green light" to do it without your willingness.

It's also not fair on your husband who thinks he has consent when clearly he doesn't.

This is toxic.

Is he putting the damn thing on properly? Assuming he takes charge of this too?
Using lube from the start and frequently throughout? Changing the condom often, during these prolonged athletic events?

Sorry, not much help now, but in the future this is how you are supposed to be using them.. Oh - and don't let him spoon you - it's a sure way to condom removal/coming off inside you. 😬