Is 44 too old to ttc?

[Latecomer81]

I have one 11 year old, partner has low motility and therefore suffered secondary infertility for years, when my ds was 5 we got tested to see why we were struggling. We decided to let nature take its course, just keep trying and if it happened it happened and if it didn’t we’d be ok with 1. The older I get the more I wished we’d tried harder as, obviously, no 2 didn’t happen for us. I know one and done is a perfectly good choice for a lot of people but I hate it, I just wished it had turned out differently. I did fall pregnant naturally at 42 which was a surprise but had mmc at 10 weeks. That opened up an old hurt that I thought I’d dealt with. Would I be crazy for trying again at 44 (nearly 45) or just accept once and for all that it’s over? Any advice gladly received..

I wouldn’t given your age, medical history and the large age gap. I think you’d be setting yourself up for much more heartache.

I wouldn’t, and that’s me having had my second at just turned 43. It’s now known that we age quite a lot at 44(ish) rather than in a linear fashion and I’ve certainly found that to be true. I also have a biggish age gap and it’s tricky. Just about worth it at 6 years but I wouldn’t do 11.

I suppose there's no harm in trying if you really want to, but you'll have to be realistic. For me, I was in the throes of perimenopause at 44 and I expect conceiving would've been impossible, but one of my best friends conceived her first and only at that age. You won't know until you try.

Its so hard to know. Fertility is very much individual. Some women are able to get pregnant in their 40s, for others its impossible. You'll never know your own circumstances until you try. My opinion is that if your healthy and fit and capable of carrying a child and caring for a active toddler , then why not

It would be an absolutely firm no for me.

I'm younger than you, but have seen what having another child with (sadly) high medical needs and autism has done to a friend and her family and would never risk it. At 44 the chances of having a child with autism or medical needs increases a lot. The risk to the mother also increases. I couldn't do it to my existing child and risk the happy family I currently have, regardless of my own desires.

I think the risks are too high once you reach 45.

No reason why not. Risks do increase but from very very small to just very small.

I conceived my only at 44y5months, on one ovary & tube while not actually trying. Bit of a shock. Easy pregnancy, slightly slow labour, 8lb baby boy. His dad was 56 when ds was born.

Ds is 17 now & doing a'levels. He's going to read engineering in the autumn. He's lovely, I wouldn't be without him. 😍

So i'd keep going OP. Eat well, stay away from alcohol and get plenty of sleep xx