Advanced Maternal Age Due December

[BabyPerera]

Hi everyone, I've recently found out after 4 cycles of trying to conceive that I am pregnant at 37. I have two other children aged 14 and 11 so this will be my first child in my 30s. I'm feeling particularly tired this time around and was wondering if any other older mothers have struggled more with symptoms during a later pregnancy? I'm feeling very blessed to have gotten pregnant and this will be my first child with my fiance ❤️ would be nice to have mother's of a similar age to connect with x

I don't know why people get offended by that term - it's what is used. It's about biology not how you physically feel.

My mum was marked down as a 'geriatric mother' at 31 lol.

Anyway, congrats, OP!

I was trying to be more PC with not using geriatric but I seem to have caused more offence 🥴🤣 I know what you mean I certainly don't feel old or past it and let's face it was probably a man who created the term. That's a whole other thread about feminism and societal expectations placed upon us but we'd never get off the thread would we 🤣 fingers crossed I'll have surge of energy come back to me in a few weeks! X

I’m not sure why people are having such an issue with the term. It’s not just used in social media. I was described as a geriatric mother at hospital when pregnant at 37. Despite having no issues with previous pregnancies I was referred to a consultant initially due to it, who went through various risk factors before discharging me back into midwife care for duration of pregnancy. That was in 2021.

When I first saw it I was initially offended but actually biologically speaking I had my first period at 12 and my family go through menopause in their early 40s! We might biologically be geriatric but hey we still got it 💅

Oh that's nice to know there's a little extra support! Thank you for the info ❤️

In terms of your original question, I found myself more tired, but probably due to having other children to look after at same time. However I enjoyed the baby stage so much more as I felt so much more relaxed and didn’t worry about every little thing! Hope you have a smooth pregnancy!

I had mine in my thirties and the youngest in my early forties. I didn’t feel particularly tired with any of them and if anything, symptoms including nausea and ligament pain improved compared with the first one. What are your iron levels like? And general health?
Older mothers are more likely to conceive multiples and that could also make you feel more tired and nauseated.

Indeed. I honestly opened this thread expecting the OP to be about 47, not 37!

I imagine tiredness has more to do with how many kids you already have and your general health and fitness than whether you’re younger or older than 35.

I'm on my first pregnancy at 39 and I'm loving it. My morning sickness was pretty rough but ended faster than most, still haven't managed to regain the weight. I'm 4 months now and my energy levels are starting to pick up. The muscle ripping is the only thing I'm really struggling with.

I don't have anything to compare it to but my risk screenings have been great and I have the same risk levels as a 20 year old. So I'll take that as a win.

Being a geriatric mother is a bit of a modern concept. Until the 60s and effective contraception, many women continued to have children healthily until they were well into their 40s.

However, I was 40 when I had DS and had lots of problems with my blood pressure. That doesn’t mean you will have complications but they are more common.

Most of my family had children in their mid to late 30s so DS has cousins around his own age. The eldest is 35 and the youngest is about 19. The eldest cousin was 30 when she had her first child so their generation are in no hurry to have children.

They certainly keep you young. My DS was privately educated and I wasn’t the oldest mum at the school gate much to my surprise. Most were mid to late 30s with a handful in their 40s. Only one mum in DS’s school year was in her 20s.

I still ran in the mums race on sports day and enjoyed plenty of mums nights out without feeling out of place. I am lucky, until I hit 60 I looked 10yrs younger than my actual age. Even recently, when I asked my DS’s best friends how old his mum was when he was talking about her birthday he said “ oh, she’s really old”, she’s only a year older than me and he was very embarrassed.

You will be fine and pleasantly surprised how common we ancient mums are.

I'm generally in good health and shape. I don't drive so walk everywhere but do have a mostly vegetarian diet so perhaps I will have a look into the low iron levels! Thank you for that, it certainly makes sense x

Yes a poster below has suggested potential low iron which was a great help 💕

I'm hoping that will be the case...had a few practice runs now so hopefully I should have some idea what I'm doing 🤣🤣 thank you, put my mind at ease x

In my hospital trust (in London) the threshold for special treatment due to age is 40, so you would not be considered or described as “advanced maternal age” at 37.

Without any additional risk factors, 40+ get an extra scan and are offered an induction on due date. Under 40 (including me at 39) are not treated any differently from a 20 year old.

The position is also very different as between women having their first baby vs those who have given birth before. Older mothers giving birth for the first time are at slightly higher risk. I’ve had 2 kids already and very straightforward pregnancies and fast vaginal births so considered low risk this time round.

My symptoms however have been absolutely horrendous - I’ve been much much more sick than before. I had no sickness at all with DC1 (now 7) and a little bit with DC2 (now 5) but this is on another level.

You are not Middle aged!

Is the advanced maternal age mother on the thread? 37 😂

Thank you for all the kind messages with advice ❤️ I'm going to clock out on the thread as some people (albeit geriatric) want to act like children in a playground and intimidate or belittle other mothers away from mumsnet x

Well said @BabyPereraI can't believe some women think is acceptable to be so cruel!!

Congrats on your pregnancy

In my NHS Hospital Trust, 37 is not regarded as Advanced Maternal Age. I think you have to be over 40. Don't worry about it, women of 37 are much fitter and have better diets than in the past, so you're not obviously high risk. 🤞
I had my first at 36 over 30 years ago, and wasn't considered old, even then!
I think you may handle it better because you know what's coming, iyswim, you're probably more relaxed this time round. Just make sure you're up to speed with all the new recommended supplements, and enjoy!

I had my first baby at 39, consultant led for non age related reasons and not once was my age mentioned.

Having my second at 41 so will be interested to see if that changes.

I know that’s not really the point of the post, was just surprised by the title/your actual age as it’s been such a non issue for me and others I know.

Yes, it surprised me as well. I have friends who've had their first one at 41/42 and no specific term used, nor medical concern.

On first reading I was expecting first child at age 102!

Goodness me, not the best wording, actually quite insensitive and will hit a nerve with many who have struggled and had first and only at an age higher than yours, several years higher.

Sorry, you're just asking, I know. Well for older Mums it's the same and late 30s/early 40s we are still young enough to have fun, energy but also experience of wisdom to identify and navigate situations quickly.

With having raised 2 DC the early years you know you will be facing so much energy and boundaries and at age 37, unless any medical problems it will be fine, even working FT, you're not old at all.

Some of my friends had teenage DC by the time we were blessed to have a baby; in laws were grandmas years before we became parents, other friends had babies after us. So, it's all about individual circumstances.

To reply to the question, as I have, you're not past maternal age at all and it's awful the labels given in hospital as geriatric Mums. This should have changed by now as so many other labels have.

Giving birth at age 38 then 42 to have someone come in with a clipboard within an hour to ask questions for a survey about geriatric Mums is hopefully a thing of the past.

There shouldn't be any terms used and signs on doors. Geriatic/advanced years, why? Yes it's known but just have ward A/B/C!

A is known for 'normal' age, B is for teenage pregnancies, C is for older women, D for extra support due to vulnerable/addiction/complications.

Thanks for clarifying, it did sound odd!

Indeed, just new thought up names from overpaid thinktanks which have no idea of what us plebs would like. End of rant lol 😆