Weight gain during pregnancy- upset and confused

[ChefMelanie]

Hi all.

So I'm pregnant, and me and my partner have wanted this for years, and so I am very happy to be so.

So I've struggled for years with eating disorders (since I was 13, I'm 35 now). Ive recovered from EDs, but I think I'll just always be sensitive about my body, it's just in my nature/in my programme.

I started my pregnancy a healthy BMI (about 23.5), 5"4 and 138lbs. I've been eating very healthy and exercising plenty during this time, in 20 weeks pregnant now, and I've put on 9 pounds- which I think is normal, from my research.

Bit something the sonographer said at my 20 week scan today has really upset me, she told me "At 20 weeks, you shouldn't really have put on any weight, the baby only weighs about 500g".

What??? I've got a bump, my breasts have gone up 4 cup sizes, and all the research I've done online (and on NHS online) has said that generally over the course of the pregnancy I'd be gaining 10-12.5kg (that's about 21-28 pounds, like a stone and a half-2 stone). How would it be possible to not have gained weight during that period?

What the sonographer has said has really upset me, and made me worry I've put loads of weight on that I shouldn't have. I don't want to ruin my figure over all of this and damage my health by putting on loads of weight unnecessarily, I want me and my baby to be well fed and healthy. It has made me feel like a failure and fat and worthless and that I'm not doing this properly.

Is the sonographer wrong? What are your guys experience of weight gain during pregnancy? Had you gained much at the halfway point, did you gain a couple of stone during pregnancy and that was fine? I'd love to hear your experiences, I'm feeling rather down and upset about all of this xx

Talking out of their arse - extra blood volume weighs more, placenta adds weight, fluid adds weight, as you said chest size increases, baby adds weight. Bloody idiot, ignore completely!

That's absolutely fucking mad. Your body is quite clearly bigger than it was before pregnancy at 20 weeks so how could you weigh the same?! Ignore, what a stupid and incorrect comment.

I think a sonographer that has such little understanding of pregnancy sounds a bit worrying.
If you want to give them more headspace, use it to write a complaint, not beat yourself up. You’re doing fine, I would have thought it would be more worrying if you’d only gained half a kg by 20 weeks.

I’m rarely a complainer but I’d make a complaint about them, what a dick.
They’re absolutely full of shit as well.
You’re halfway through growing an entire human being, plus the placenta, extra blood volume etc.
I’d give them a 500g punch to the tits.

I put on 5 stone with my first pregnancy and lost it all within 6 months.
I then only put on a stone and a half in my second pregnancy.
Your body is doing something incredible 💛 your body needs fuel and energy.

9 pounds at 20 weeks is a normal amount. I had put on about 10lbs by this point. Your sonographer is talking rubbish! I put on 2 and a half stone for one of my pregnancies, 2 stone for the other (never lost that additional half a stone from my first!). I dropped 1.5 stone after about 3 weeks of giving birth, and the rest when I stopped breastfeeding. Hope that helps!!

A sonographer is not a midwife or doctor so I would ignore their comment and complain actually - research shows that it is far healthier to gain 'too much' weight during pregnancy (not that you have) than too little. As you have seen from your research it is normal to gain weight during this time. I would advise not weighing yourself further during pregnancy though - it serves no benefit and you don't know what is real weight vs baby, amniotic fluid etc. Our bodies are clever and will gain the weight necessary to grow and sustain the baby.

I would make a complaint to the hospital …
ignore them, you’re doing great!

This never happened. At all.

She does not know what she is talking about. Typical weight gain in pregnancy is 25-25lbs. Only a small proportion of that is the actual baby.
At the end of the pregnancy the different elements of weight gained are...
'For individuals who conceive with a BMI in the healthy range (18.5 to 24.9 kg/m2) and gain the National Academy of Medicine (NAM)'s recommended 25 to 35 lbs (11.5 to 16 kg), most weight gain is physiologic and distributed at term as follows:
●Fetus – 7 to 8 lb (3.2 to 3.6 kg)
●Fat stores – 6 to 8 lb (2.7 to 3.6 kg)
●Increased blood volume – 3 to 4 lb (1.4 to 1.8 kg)
●Increased extravascular fluid volume – 2 to 3 lb (0.9 to 1.4 kg)
●Amniotic fluid – 2 lb (0.9 kg)
●Breast enlargement – 1 to 3 lb (0.45 to 1.4 kg)
●Uterine hypertrophy – 2 lb (0.9 kg)●Placenta – 1.5 lb (0.7 kg)'For 20 weeks you are doing perfectly. Don't let her take up head space,

It did, it happened yesterday. Yes, she did follow this comment up with "But try not to worry too much about your weight, your body is changing" etc etc.

But the main point she said was "at 20 weeks, you shouldn't have put on much weight at all" I even replied to her here "really?" And she then said "Yes, at this stage your baby only weighs 500 grams, you shouldn't have put much weight on by this point".

This absolutely happened, your comments is mean and unnecessary.

I don’t tend to make complaints, however I think it is needed in this situation.

It is not her place to be commenting on someone’s weight gain. She’s blatantly wrong anyway, but that sort of comment would be hurtful to anyone, let alone someone who has previously had an eating disorder.

It’s potentially very dangerous for her to be commenting on things like That.

Definitely complain.

You would be amazed what is happening out there. The midwife asked me if I was sure DH was the father of our 3rd child and went on about DNA tests. I was WTF?

You'd be surprised at the things people say.

I had a German OB, who read my weight wrong and told me to lay off the burgers because he knows the "American ladies like the burgers". I replied that I was actually British and he "ah, yes. The English ladies like the ice-cream too much."

She is completely wrong! You’ve gained weight but a totally healthy amount.

Personally, this is something I would speak to your midwife about. Do they know about your history with ED? As they will be able to provide support for you.

I would also put in a complaint about the sonographer. She’s made an off the wall comment but hasn’t actually considered the pain and worry she will be causing to others.

Did you volunteer you'd gained weight or did she just say it? Either way she's in the wrong but if she just volunteered it she's really wrong- especially as you started with a healthy BMI. I'd complain and I never complain.

I'd gained easily 9lbs in the first trimester alone and put on nearly 3 stone in both my pregnancies, I'd lost it both times within 6 months without trying. As other posters have said, lots of the gain is fluid/boob/blood.

I have eating disorders most of my life and struggled with weight gain and it was hard in pregnancy.
I found a website where it tracks typical weight gain in pregnancy week by week based on your size. It helped me stay rationale I constantly flipped between worrying about gaining too much and then too little.
At 20 weeks 7-12lbs is typical so you are right where you are supposed to be. One thing that I noticed in my pregnancies is that I didn't gain weight linearly so I might not put anything on for a few weeks and then put on four pounds overnight I found it helpful to look at how my weight changed over the course of a month.
In my first pregnancy I struggled with sickness throughout and I ask my midwife to weigh me a couple of times just to make sure my weight gain was on track and normal. She was quite happy to do this so if you want a extra set of eyes on whether your weight gain is in the normal range you could think about that.
It's hard in my second pregnancy I struggled with fatigue and eating because I was asleep too much of the day (~20h) I tried to speak to a doctor when I was in hospital about me losing weight and the third trimester and the first thing they asked was did I think I had eating disorder. I was induced a few days later so it didn't matter in the end but I found the attitude very dismissive. I was trying to raise valid concerns but was ignored because of my past

If this happened, you should inform the hospital as medical staff shouldn’t be giving out false information. I think it’s extremely unlikely this happened as you said though. More likely, you’re still struggling with your ED as it’s very common to make up scenarios like this to be able to talk about weight, food etc. If this is the case, seek help as you need to be healthy mentally and physically for your baby.

I’m pretty sure I gained 2 stone in both my pregnancies, never really lost that weight or got my stomach flat & toned again, it’s normal and genetics plays a big part so don’t worry if you never get your pre pregnancy body back.

I would suggest working on your mental health and trying to ignore any weight gain during pregnancy. If you end up back down the ED path it’ll only end up harming your child and potentially causing social services intervention. Get yourself better for your child’s sake.

The sonographer is a twat. I would complain - she’s not trained to make that observation about you and saying such uninformed, ignorant bullshit could be extremely triggering for women with a history of EDs. As clearly it has been for you.

I bloody hate all the rubbish talked about appropriate weight gain in pregnancy. There is such massive variation and gaining more or less than the ‘norm’ (whatever that is) is not a cause for criticism or worry.

OP I’m 16 weeks, have gained 10lb, and am completely comfortable with that! I trust my body and my appetite.

Take care ♥️

In both my full term pregnancies I have put on most of my weight in the first 16 weeks! After that, the gain has been pretty much all bump, but I have an insatiable appetite in the first trimester. Absolutely normal to gain weight by 20 weeks, please try it to let the sonographer’s ill-judged and incorrect comment get to you.

Sonographer is a moron.

Weight gain during pregnancy isn't just a matter of the actual baby.
You carry a shed load of extra water weight just to support that 500g pregnancy so she's talking out her arse.

1 litre of water weighs a kilo so it really adds up.

I'm sorry she said this to you. Some people project their own insecurities and hang ups onto others without even realising.

I’d put on 9lb in about the first week 😂 I wish that was me at 20 weeks, my body absolutely stockpiles from day one and clings on throughout breastfeeding as well

Everybody is so different what a ridiculous thing to have said to you

I am a midwife and that was an awful comment from your sonographer. And totally incorrect.

9lbs is perfectly fine. Pregnancy changes your body in many ways - mostly temporary. But you are quite right that this is normal weight gain 💐

I put on loads, especially in the first months, far more than the recommended amount. I really beat myself up about it, especially because it didn't fall off in the first weeks. It looks like it's actually the hormones that do it for me. Once my periods came back after a year, the weight started to fall off without changing diet. It seems my body just holds onto fat with those hormones.

I completely understand the feeling miserable. Everyone tried to make you feel better by saying but you grew a baby, but for me I still felt awful and a failure for not following the guidelines perfectly.

The sonographer is incorrect and also not their job to comment on your weight. I've had 3 babies and no healthcare professionals have ever commented on my weight and Im probably higher end of normal/slightly overweight.

I put on weight every pregnancy and not because of the extra blood volume, amniotic fluid and increased breast tissue but because my nausia lasts until I give birth and I eat to curb it and also I find being pregnant depressing to be honest and I eat because it's one of the few pleasures that I can still engage in. So there's also those valid reasons for putting on weight during pregnancy.

I put on about 4 stone with first pregnancy. Within the first year 3 of that 4 stone was gone without any effort whatsoever.