Breastfeed or formula feed?

[Emm333]

Please no nasty comments. I realise breastfeeding is recommended.

I'm 28 weeks pregnant and had been completely set on formula feeding mainly because this is what most friends have done, allows your husband to feed the baby too, and wanting to avoid mastitis which my mum had a bad experience with when she tried to breastfeed. A friend who has breastfed has also told me how exhausting it is.

I've pretty much ignored any information on breastfeeding as just viewed it as a negative for the above reasons, but recently started randomly leaking breast milk (particularly when I'm holding my bump when the baby kicks!) and was surprised to find it didn't freak me out and actually felt reassuring in a weird way. My midwife gave me a magazine about types of feeding at my last appointment about various benefits etc. So I now feel a bit guilty if I don't give my baby breast milk!

For those who were undecided, how did you choose how to feed your baby? Also be great to hear from women who have combination fed breast milk and formula and how they did this?

Thank you!

Ive breast fed and formula fed.

Breastfeeding is hard the first 8/12 weeks. But after that its so easy. I wish i could breastfeed my third and not formula feed but allergies prevent me doing it.

I breastfed for 3 months, 1 year and 19 months respectively. You have to really want to do it to overcome any hurdles, in my experience. For me, there were problems for the first month with each baby and it spoiled the newborn phase for me, every time. Its a nice bonding thing but really I dont know if its worth it personally! The child is breastfed for 3 months gets sick the least by the way!

I breastfed twins. Mostly because as soon as I found out I was having twins everyone told me that I shouldn’t even try to breastfeed.

I’m a bit contrary so was determined to give it a go!

The best advice I had was that breastfeeding for the first six weeks isn’t anything like breast feeding for the six weeks after that. Much like any skill you havent done before it gets easier with practice.

Yes it’s tiring but to be honest, you’ll be tired anyway. And it saves you prep and cleaning time and considerable amounts of money.

Any amount of breast feeding is great for the baby. So if you try for a few weeks and it doesn’t work out then you have still done a super thing.

I was determined to breastfeed mainly because I couldn’t be bothered faffing around with sterilising and packing bottles! It was difficult to start with but I’m so so glad I persevered because once it gets easy, it’s SO easy. Boob solves EVERYTHING. It’s the ultimate lazy parenting hack. I loved it. And then I felt a wonderful peace of mind knowing that my baby was getting the perfect nutrition.

I’ve recently discovered that breastfeeding massively reduces a woman’s risk of breast cancer so that’s another reason I’m glad I did it.

I also read that it increases maternal mental health and that resonates with me.

There’s lots of robust evidence that it increases babies’ health particularly their immunity. Even if you don’t plan to breastfeed in the long term I’d say it’s worth trying to get your baby to have some colostrum in the first few days to line their stomach as it’s very protective.

I was freaked out by the idea of it and had lots of weird dreams when pregnant but figured my body was going to make milk either way! So might as well get over my weirdness and give it to my baby. In the end it didn’t take me long to get used to it.

My husband is a very active hands on dad and it was sometimes frustrating for both of us that there was this one thing he couldn’t do but he did lots of other stuff (eg nappy changes, reading and singing to baby) and it’s only for 6 months until they start on solid food which at the time feels ages but in the grand scheme of your baby’s childhood is really tiny.

Good luck whatever you choose!

Breastfed my DS for 2 years, it was hard work, especially in the beginning but the bonding has been irreplaceable (not to say that bottle feeding does not allow this). Second time around I am looking to combi feed to share feeding with my husband and so that I can spend more time with my toddler.

Breast fed both of mine. It is extremely exhausting but worth it in my opinion, it's a very short time in your life but life long benefits for your baby and for you. Look up all the benefits. Also formula can be risky; look at recently all the recalls etc. fed my son for 2.5 years and still feeding daughter now, she's 1. The initial days are very intense but then it really eases up. It's much easier than taking out bottles and flasks etc but it depends if you are an organised person (I'm not). Give it a go and if you don't like it you can stop. Also not everyone gets mastitis. I had it once when I weaned my son and haven't had it again. Xxx

Also everyone says they bottle feed so the husband can help but as soon as their paternity leave (usually 2 weeks) is over than they don't bother helping to feed again 😂 from what I've heard from friends

Your husband can bond with baby in loads of ways without bottle feeding them. I just imagine how much money I’d save not having to buy formula when you make baby food for free.

Obviously combining or formula are fine if you find breastfeeding doesn’t work for you. But you can always just start by trying breastfeeding and going from there.

Maybe look at some drop in groups from La Leche LeagueGB or the Breastfeeding foundation in your area?

Breastfeeding is a skilled endeavour so don’t feel shit if you’re not an expert on your first go.

Breastfeeding (once established) is a million times easier than ff. Can be tough in the early days though. But you never have to deal with a screaming hungry baby desperately waiting for the milk to cool down; the milk is always ready, sterile and perfect temp!

I personally used formula (kendamil) for my son. He was born at 5lbs and it helped him rapidly gain weight. Both have pros and cons, I truly don’t believe one is better than the other.

It is completely your choice OP. I really didn’t like it but persevered until 5 weeks and then pumped for another 5 alongside formula. I felt INCREDIBLY guilty for giving up but neither me or baby were happy.
We were much happier formula feeding and son is a fit, bright, healthy 8 year old.

I breastfed my DD for 14 months. My decision was based on 'why pay for formula and do all the faffing with bottles, tears and sterilisers?'. DD took to it instantly. The only bits I didn't like were feeling like a cow in the first weeks, and pumping when I went back to work. so I introduced formula, also fine by DD. I'd do the same again, for the benefits and the convenience.

My cousin was 100% she was going to formula feed but then started breastfeeding as it was so easy for her.

I was a really lucky one, it was a doddle for me- no cream needed, no mastitis, just shoved the baby on and they fed. It was a really hot summer and we could go on walks and not need to take anything with us.

When it works it’s so much easier!!

It is natural, free, has positive benefits for both baby and you that last both your lifetimes. I didn't want to get up in the night to make and clean bottles. I still don't get up in the night. I co-sleep and baby is brought to me.

As a PP said, it is the ultimate lazy parenting hack. It really does solve EVERYTHING!!
The first 4-6 weeks were tough, but after that is it so much easier.

One of the reasons I was so determined was that we were flying long haul with baby. Every flight I have taken previously bottle fed babies cried all the time, breast-fed ones fed and slept. So that was a huge driver for me.

I read that if just one person around you advises you to stop BFing that you are significantly more likely to give up.
You do have to be determined, and seek out support. It is a skill to be learnt by both you and baby.

One of the issues with low breastfeeding rates in the UK is because they are kept perpetually low because it is not seen and formula is too easily suggested before the real reasons for behaviour and issues are tackled.
People don't learn before having a baby what breastfeeding is actually like. So when baby is constantly fussing at the breast and unsettled, they think there is something wrong with their supply. Whereas it is biologically normal behaviour to boost supply and peaks at certain times in those first months. But because people don't see this, at home, with friends, family, siblings, so these lessons don't get passed on. Fussy baby defaults to hungry baby defaults to suggestions to give formula.
Sometimes supplementing with formula will be the right thing, but these will be the minority.

It didn't cross my mind not to breastfeed.i honestly didn't know till I was nearly into my 30s that anyone really chose not to. Not because I was judging anyone who did formula feed I just assumed everyone wanted to go for the, to me, obvious and easier route.

I was lucky that it was easy and mostly pain free. Was very liberating to know we could go anywhere and never be caught short by not having packed enough bottles or anything.

I breastfed both of mine. I wasn’t really fussed beforehand and bought formula and bottles but when my first dc was born I felt an overwhelming urge to do it. It did take a while to get established but it was worth it as then as others have said made so many things so much easier (milk always ready, can make baby happy when hungry/sad/tired/ill). I loved being able to give my babies everything they needed, all the time.

You can easily go from bf to ff but not the other way round, so if not sure I’d always recommend people start out bf and see how they go. I think if combi feeding it works best just to do a set time for a bottle, at same time each day, so eventually your boobs get used to it and don’t make milk at that time. Otherwise you can end up messing with your supply and/or having to pump at that time anyway. I know a lot of people who just did a bottle at bedtime and then bf all the rest of the time.

Your husband can help in lots of ways that aren't feeding. Breastfeeding can give you a chance to sit down and rest as well. I personally didn't find it exhausting or painful but everyone has a different experience.

Getting the first colostrum into the baby has lots of benefits so even if you combi feed or only breastfeed for a bit it's still good.

I felt very pressured to breast feed and I tried my hardest. I persevered for about a month when my daughter was born, but found it incredibly painful much of the time, I developed mastitis at one point, and I just found it an awful experience. I didn’t need help in bonding with my baby but breast feeding actually made me feel resentful because I found it so hard. My nipples were extremely sore and badly cracked the whole time I was feeding my daughter and I made the decision to switch to formula feeding the day I looked down and saw her little face covered in my blood. For me, this was the best possible decision I could have made and I would have stopped sooner if people hadn’t made me feel so guilty.

I was pregnant at 18. All health professionals assumed I'd formula feed. I assumed I would breastfeed. I originated from a country where breastfeeding is the norm. It's what I'd observed around me growing up. I also know I had zero desire to faff around at night (or anytime really) making up bottles.

I found breastfeeding really difficult for the first two weeks. My nipples had never experienced such hell. However, it was my cultural norm and I had plenty of female relatives to talk me through the practicalities and support me enough to keep going. I think c section affected milk production which meant I needed to feed even more often. I thought my nipples were going to run away from me.

I think formula milk is truly amazing. Life saving magic. Babies used to die without it. But it is artificial, the ultimate UPF. Based on nourishment designed for baby cows. Breast milk is designed for human babies. Your breast milk is designed for your specific baby and it's wonderful stuff that adapts to what your baby needs.

As for partner feeding and bonding with the baby, you have this child for the rest of your lives, there will be plenty left for you both to do.

It never crossed my mind to formula feed, breastmilk is right there and it's free! So I can't help with the undecided question. I never felt pressure to breastfeed but I did feel a LOT of pressure to give formula when what I actually needed was support during the difficult early stages with the first baby.

But on the combi feeding question, I would say make sure you give one bottle every day or couple of days consistently from early on so baby doesn't forget how to bottle feed. This was the problem I had that baby ended up refusing the bottle. But on the flipside if you give lots of bottles a day your supply will dip, and babies often prefer a bottle because it's less work for them to suck out the milk. Some of my combi feeding friends stopped breastfeeding before they wanted to because of this.

When i was pregnant with my daughter, I was 100% adamant there was no way I was going to breast feed. It just didn't sit right with me and I had 0 doubts that I was going to formula feed.
But... as soon as she was born and in my arms, nothing felt more natural than breastfeeding her and that was what I did for 18 months!
Each to their own and I don't think anyone should be judged for their preference, but I was so sure that I was not breastfeeding under any circumstance until she was here and it completely changed xx

When i was pregnant with my daughter, I was 100% adamant there was no way I was going to breast feed. It just didn't sit right with me and I had 0 doubts that I was going to formula feed.
But... as soon as she was born and in my arms, nothing felt more natural than breastfeeding her and that was what I did for 18 months!
Each to their own and I don't think anyone should be judged for their preference, but I was so sure that I was not breastfeeding under any circumstance until she was here and it completely changed xx

I breastfeed for 3 days and hated it. Baby had a bad latch and destroyed my nipples. My mental health was in the toilet. I like formula feeding, as my husband takes half the night feeds.

But breastfeeding is beautiful and i wish I could have stuck it out. But it wasnt meant to be. Try it, get the support, and dont feel guilty if its not for you.

I was determined to breast feed, then found when DS came I had literally no milk supply. None. To the point the specialist feeding midwife had to put my son on top up. I tried for a month to establish and couldn’t get even a ml of breast milk pumped after trying after every feed. It was demoralising. I’m not sure how I would have felt if I could have produced milk but honestly once I stopped trying my sanity returned. You need to do what is best for you but also be open to changing based on circumstances.

Don’t put any pressure on yourself. The baby will be fine either way. Personally I really struggled to breastfeed. I had so much help and it just got harder and harder and my mental health was in bits. I found formula a doddle in comparison and appreciated help in the night (my husband did a lot of the night feeds despite going back to work). It was winter and I could get a bottle ready quicker when out than taking all my layers off! We went on loads of holidays and never found taking formula on flights an issue, and everywhere we went sold it too. I think you just have to work with what you have - and never judge yourself!! Plenty of people will queue up to do that for you!