Breastfeed or formula feed?

[Emm333]

Please no nasty comments. I realise breastfeeding is recommended.

I'm 28 weeks pregnant and had been completely set on formula feeding mainly because this is what most friends have done, allows your husband to feed the baby too, and wanting to avoid mastitis which my mum had a bad experience with when she tried to breastfeed. A friend who has breastfed has also told me how exhausting it is.

I've pretty much ignored any information on breastfeeding as just viewed it as a negative for the above reasons, but recently started randomly leaking breast milk (particularly when I'm holding my bump when the baby kicks!) and was surprised to find it didn't freak me out and actually felt reassuring in a weird way. My midwife gave me a magazine about types of feeding at my last appointment about various benefits etc. So I now feel a bit guilty if I don't give my baby breast milk!

For those who were undecided, how did you choose how to feed your baby? Also be great to hear from women who have combination fed breast milk and formula and how they did this?

Thank you!

I love breastfeeding, though I appreciate others have a different experience. It's free, and avoids having to keep on top of buying milk, cleaning bottles, bringing milk out with you etc. If and when it works (I know it doesn't for everyone) it can be so easy. Personally I do also love the bonding element.

Aw, that must feel a real shame! 😔 Out of interest (not judgment!) how come allergies get in the way of breastfeeding?

From knowing it was best for our baby so being determined to at least try it one feed at a time.

The research that breastmilk is actually different depending on whether you have a girl or a boy. Night feeds contain melatonin to help them sleep. When your baby is sick, your body produces more immune cells to help it mend. That they get real nutrients, minerals and vitamins from breastmilk it’s not possible to put in formula yet.

The same way now I’d rather they had a home cooked roast than McDonalds. It’s way easier to just order takeaway but the effort to feed them as well as I can is still worth it imo.

Thats just being honest I know there are plenty of kids out there who have done perfectly well on formula and eat fast food. Just to answer your question honestly i didn’t want that for mine.

I didn’t find it easy i wish I’d been told that it’s a skill that needs work just like any other. Mastitis and bleeding nipples are not memories I cherish but they soon pass and there is medical help for you should you need it!

however you choose to feed best of luck with your pregnancy and enjoy this very special time.

I breastfed my son. I originally planned to breastfeed for 3 months and switch to formula feeding. I was told by my midwife not to introduce a bottle until my son was at least 6 weeks old, because babies can get confused. What you don't get told is that very often once a baby starts breastfeeding, they won't take to a bottle!! My plan of breast feeding for 3 months went completely out of the window!! At 6 weeks, I tried a bottle with breast milk, my son refused. I tried every bottle on the market, used both breast milk and formula and also tried other people feeding my son. None of it worked!! At 6 months my son suddenly started to take a bottle, and he had formula during the day and breast at night until he was 9 months old.

I enjoyed breastfeeding him but yes, it was exhausting because he wouldn't take a bottle, which meant no one else could feed him.

I wish I'd been told by the midwives that it was possible my son would refuse to take a bottle. I felt that I hadn't really been given all the information. Yes, breastfeeding is fantastic but being the only person who can feed baby is a negative, and because it's a negative, it's not mentioned!!

I breastfed my two for about a week each! I wanted to try it because it seemed like the ‘easy’ option, milk always there, no sterilising needed or faffing with bottles. However I just couldn’t stand the pain, swollen boobs, sore nipples then a baby on them just felt awful so I gave up. I thought I’d rather formula feed my baby instead of dreading and resenting each feed. You just have to do what feels right for you. If you’re unsure I’d say start with breastfeeding see how you get on

Give it a go. Why not. It can be exhausting and hard work in the first few weeks but once you get through that it’s much easier. No washing bottles or needing to make bottles up when out and about and you have one hand free when you’re feeding so you can eat or do stuff like order your online food shop!
Also at night you don’t have to faff around with going downstairs to get bottles and stuff.
I introduced some formula before going back to work and babies starting nursery and that worked well.

Just to add I breastfed both mine and never had mastitis so it’s not something that happens to everyone.

The first six weeks of breastfeeding is really hard and that's when most people give up. If you get to 8 weeks it becomes so much easier than formula feeding!! I've fed three babies, all for two years and I felt like giving up thousands of times in that first month and then not af all until they were two. It's a night and day difference for most mums

Also re your husband feeding baby - that would put me off! He can do everything else for baby, but mums and babies are designed to sit down together and feed so mum can rest and give baby the absolute best. If he wants to be more hands on involved how about he does a baby massage course or takes bath time as his special bonding time? I often see dads 'wanting to feed the baby' as an excuse for them to sit down while the post partum mum runs around sorting everything out when she should be resting!

Get a lactation consultant booked in if finances allow for like the day after you give birth. That’s what I wish I’d done.

I managed it for 3 months and then switched to combi, tapering off after three months. Just do what you can, don’t be bullied or made to feel bad with whatever option/s you go with, everything comes out in the wash anyway

In the end I didn’t want to spend any of
my money on ultra processed food, bottles, cleaning all that mess. Hardest 8 weeks of my life but also my proudest. The rest was so easy. I didn’t understand what sleepless nights were. We didn’t have them.

I wanted to breastfeed but I had a section and my milk didn’t come in quickly. My baby cried constantly and lost weight so I had to give her something. I did try combi feeding but it was too much for me.
My advice would be to try breastfeeding - it’s a lovely thing to be able to do but if you can’t or if it becomes too difficult then do not feel guilt over switching to formula. We are lucky to live in a country where we have the choice.

I’ve bf both of my children past 2 years old and never had mastitis!

There is help out there if you need it during the first few weeks so do some research now on free bf groups near you, but alternatively you may just really take to it with no issues. Once the cluster feeding stage is over it’s so easy, and really beneficial for your health as well as the baby.

I breastfeed and love the convenience, nappy in a bag and go. Husband does sometimes gives a bottle of formula, we introduced a bottle of expressed breast milk at 2 weeks (once every other day) and baby has no issues taking a bottle now. It's hard for the first 12 weeks but as soon as your past that it's 10x easier. I'm dairy free for my son to continue feeding him (allergies) and it's still worth it over bottles!

I hated formula feeding because of the need to pack things when going out, the faff of cleaning, the expense, the awkwardness of trying to pace feed...

I found breastfeeding much easier. First time round it was easy peasy as baby knew what to do and had no issues. Second time was a major challenge as baby struggled to feed and lost weight. However, I knew persevering would be worth it thanks to my first experience.

I breastfed and still doing a bedtime feed now, shes 16 months. It is hard initially and you will most likely need help from midwives or local support groups. But once it’s established it is just so easy. I always think formula seems the harder work option with prepping, cleaning, sterilising, bringing it with you if you go out, and having to pay for it! I have seen BF as the lazy option 🤣 you can just stay in bed and pop them on the boob. Yes I dealt with the majority of nights for the first year but I honestly think I would have been awake anyway, if my baby was awake / crying. My husband used to have her the first half of the night whilst I got a chunk of sleep, and he did everything else baby and house wise. The benefits to your own health are actually more proven than to baby’s - like reduction in cancer.

Why not give BF a go and then formula is an option alongside or instead, if you don’t get on with it? I’ve never had mastitis, just make sure you know how to reduce your risk of getting it. I will say we never had much luck with bottles; but TBH we didn’t really try that hard. We had much more luck with using sippy / straw cups after 6 months.

I started breastfeeding, but found it difficult so combination fed for some time. Once breastfeeding was more established, I actually found it so much easier than bottle feeding. Milk is there whenever, at the right temp, and nothing needs washing or sterilising other than a bit of a soap when you shower! It was hard at first though. We had a lovely breast feeding group at the local children's centre run weekly, facilitated by the lovely children's centre manager, and run by a health visitor. They were really helpful in showing me different positions and had breast feeding pillows to try out.

I only ever formula fed but I never had a hungry baby screaming down the place while waiting for milk to cool down. We had a perfect prep machine, ready made formula and the microwave. It’s really not this time consuming nightmare that some posters make it out to be.

However, dear god it is expensive- especially as they get bigger.

Obviously big benefit of formula feeding is that anyone can feed them. I also found (especially with my second) that everything got way easier when they could hold a bottle by themselves and you can crack on with playing with the toddler while out and about and baby would have their bottle in the pram.

It was a struggle to get her to latch. I still breastfeed my 2yr old 😊 so that takes some of the sadness away

Formula feeding is a lot more work in terms of sterilising, bottle prep, warming up, mental load of remembering how long bottles have been left out or planning ahead for how many you will need when out and about etc. If you want your husband to "help", be really clear that he is expected to take on some of this extra work it's not just about holding the bottle!

Breastmilk is always available (unless you're planning to be seperated from baby in the early months), it's free, and is the most biologically beneficial for you and baby.

@PurpleTurtleMooseand putting my health first. Cut out dairy/soya with my second. Lost too much weight. Couldnt put my body through it again.

This. Have boobs can travel. Which means if you're there, baby is fed. The thought of having to plan bottles and hot water...

However the first weeks were hard.

This. So many benefits for mum and baby.

I have to say I always find this a hard one as whilst I completely respect a women's choice I feel that at the pregnancy stage at least, there's no reason not to try (although completly appreciate how daunting it feels.) It's what babies eat and what your body is meant to do, after all. It's a bit like wanting a baby but not to be pregnant. (Or this is how I'm viewing it for whatever reason)

I breastfed and it was the easiest thing once established, milk and cuddles just seems to resolve almost anything for babies. From speaking to others those that have struggled the reason is often down to not feeding enough so your body is out of kilter with babies needs. That's no denying I was of course shattered for those first 12 weeks, I'm sure I would of been anyway.

In regards to baby's dad, babies need so many things there are loads of opportunities he can take to bond with baby. Early days my husband took my son out for walks, gave him millions of cuddles he has also put him to bed with me every night since he was born. Not feeding certainly doesn't put anyone at a disadvantage for bonding if they want to support.

I would arm yourself with all the facts of both and if you do decide to breastfeed make sure you have access to reliable information as and when you need it, there's a lot of rubbish out there. That includes certain health professionals who you would think would know better.

Best of luck whatever you decide and congratulations on your pregnancy. ❤️

I breastfed my three babies from 2014 until 2022 continuously with some overlap so dual breastfeeding.

My first was born 2014 breastfed until summer 2016 when he more or less self weaned not sure whether the arrival of his sister in early changed things. She breastfed until 2019 and starting nursery alongside her little brother who was born in late 2017 and breastfed until 2022 but would have happily carried on. I had done my time by then well and truly.
then first few weeks with each of them were hard going as is often the case especially with tongue tie, getting a good latch etc. after that it was so easy.
I was not evangelical about it though to the point of considering formula the devil as some might expect in this scenario. I would happily express milk for others to feed them for a break or let them have formula if I was not around or they were at a relatives and hungry as babies / staying over. So technically they were mix fed.
the only advice I would have is keep an open mind about the whole thing and see how you feel and what’s what when your baby is born.
I do think there are some lovely aspects to breastfeeding your baby and of course some health benefits but it is a hugely subjective and highly personal process with so many uniquely individual factors that often turn this sort of legitimate question into a war zone but try not to let that upset you.