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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Am I leaving it to late for TTC at 35

41 replies

SadSoul92 · 31/01/2026 20:38

Hello,

im currently 33 and 34 this year. I’m going to be getting married next year and ideally wanted to wait until I get married before TTC and by then we will also be in a much better financial position (paid off some debts) however the more i read in to it the more im freaking out that it will be a lot harder. I also had a period this month that seemed lighter than usually and not painful which is usually is and this has also panicked me. Am I over thinking? I know I could have issues TTC at any age but I’m really worried that leaving it another 18months could make it a lot harder.

OP posts:

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Cupboarddoorknob · 31/01/2026 20:38

You’re overthinking

CaffeinatedMum · 31/01/2026 20:41

I wouldn’t personally leave it for 18 months if you don’t have to, only because you don’t know how long it will then take you to conceive. Also have you considered if you want more than one child? As you could be drastically reducing your chances of having a second further down the line by waiting for so long to start. But if you’re set on just one and you don’t mind that it could take a while to happen then you do have sound reasons for waiting so you could wait. Just don’t expect to conceive straight away - not because of your age, but because it is very normal to take up to 12 months to conceive with no fertility issues, if not a little longer. You could also have a miscarriage etc which would then delay the timing even longer. Obviously hopefully that won’t happen, I guess I’m just saying don’t start TTC at 35 and expect to have a baby at 36.

Original poster

SadSoul92 · 31/01/2026 20:44

Thank you. All my friends recently age between 30 and 33 have all fallen pregnant within the first few months of trying and are all pregnant now together and I don’t know it’s just made me worry more that I’m going to miss my chance…

OP posts:

CDTC · 31/01/2026 20:45

Just had my second at 39. No issues conceiving at all. Try to relax, stressing yourself out won't help.

Matildahoney · 31/01/2026 20:48

I had my first at 41, trying for our second at 43!

Slightyamusedandsilly · 31/01/2026 20:48

Starting at 35 isn't exactly late, but it's not allowing much wriggle room if you don't conceive quickly. It is typical for the NHS not to offer help until you've been trying for 2 years which would push your age to 37. Obviously, the nearer 40 you get the more your fertility drops.

Does it really matter if you start trying now? Surely a baby at any time is welcome if you want a family.

Original poster

SadSoul92 · 31/01/2026 20:51

Yes It would make a difference unfortunately, financially it would be a lot more difficult and next year my mum will also be moving closer to which will help with childcare costs, as we are self employed so we won’t have much financial support during maternity and therefore will rely heavily on family support.

OP posts:

xOlive · 31/01/2026 20:52

I’m 33, 34 this year, I have a 6 month old and accidentally pregnant again, due in September.
Most of the people in my baby group are 40+, I’m one of the youngest 😂 there’s a few in their 40s who fell pregnant accidentally (as in, without trying).
You’re still very young and there’s no rush 😁

Sunshineclouds11 · 31/01/2026 20:52

I fell preg after 3 months of trying at 34.
1st was at 29 and via IVF, I was amazed

Original poster

SadSoul92 · 31/01/2026 21:02

Thank you everyone, sorry I just suddenly started having this overwhelming feeling that I’m going to really struggle

OP posts:

CaffeinatedMum · 31/01/2026 21:45

The truth is you don’t know if you’re going to struggle or not. But you do know your own personal circumstances. If it isn’t financially viable to have a baby right now then don’t. Just manage your expectations that it might not happen straight away, no matter when you start trying.

Pregnantera · 31/01/2026 21:56

I got pregnant first try at 35. I was full of doubt too and thought it would take at least 6 months - what a shock I got a month later. You don’t know until you try.

goodnightssleepbenice · 31/01/2026 22:03

I wouldn’t wait , if you have issues and you want more than one child it could present problems .

Fizhy · 31/01/2026 22:09

Anecdotally we tried for the best part of 2 years from the age of 29 before having our first at 31. No 2 took around 8 months at 32/33. Just found out I'm pregnant with surprise DC3 at 36 after one 'oops' moment. So I guess you can't predict how long it will take or if your age will make it harder - you might get lucky and it happens quickly or it might take some time. For me each pregnancy has happened quicker each time but that's just luck I guess as statistically your fertility does start to decline a bit. I don't think 18months would make much difference in the grand scheme of things but if you do find yourself struggling you might regret waiting. It's a hard decision though if now isn't the right time.

CraftyNavySeal · 31/01/2026 22:20

You can get fertility testing at home to give you a general idea where you stand.

I had very low AMH at 31 and was advised to start trying immediately. Ex DP didn’t agree so still no baby for me but it’s worth a go in your situation.

Allswellthatendswelll · 31/01/2026 22:31

It will probably be fine, most women conceive with no issue BUT if you have issues then you do just have less time- say ttc for a year, 2 years for ivf which takes you to 37/38. Also depends how many you want and what age gap. So I would at least run some tests to see where you are.

CityKity · 31/01/2026 22:38

Fertility is unique to everyone so no one can tell you what to do. I’m in London and most new mums I know are over 35, personally I felt pregnant in one cycle both at 35 and then 37, but also know of several friends who were 28/30 who tried for over a year with miscarriages along the way before conceiving their first. Incidentally all 3 of those couples convinced their second almost straight away despite issues the first time around.

My periods have been getting lighter and lighter in my 30s, to the point I thought I was at risk of early menopause, but so far light periods haven’t impacted my fertility.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 31/01/2026 22:41

You should go and get a fertility check up with a doctor as only they will tell you what your chances are if you try now vs in two years

Cupboarddoorknob · 01/02/2026 06:07

The other thing you can do to make you feel like you’re being proactive is maximise your health / lifestyle factors. I.e ensure you are a healthy weight, minimise alcohol and caffeine, stop nicotine, exercise regularly, regulate your sleep etc

tirednessbecomesme · 01/02/2026 06:37

As others have said it’s very personal - some posters will reply saying don’t worry we got pregnant the first month of trying and others will have a totally different experience. Myself….i was infertile by age 36 after 2 ruptured ectopics and multiple miscarriages between the ages of 32 and 36….i personally would never advise waiting.

babyproblems · 01/02/2026 06:38

ToffeeForEveryone · 01/02/2026 06:44

Don't wait if you really want kids. There are no guarantees in life and percentages don't help if you're one of the unlucky ones. If your intuition is saying start now, I'd listen.

Dgll · 01/02/2026 06:49

Fertility steadily declines, so it does depend a bit on how many children you think you might want. I live in London where it is really common to have children later but it isn't plain sailing.There is a reason why there are ads for fertility clinics all over the tube. A lot of my friends had children when they were in their late 30s. A lot had IVF. They could all afford to have it done privately.

Bluesoapysponge · 01/02/2026 06:51

I will add my story just to give prospective of when things are not simple. Started TTC at 33 and it didn't happen for us. Started NHS investigation at 35 but it was slow and because we moved areas we would have been put back to the start of sperm test in the new NHS area. Went private and after about 9 months of investigation found that my husband cannot have genetic children. Decided to do IUI with donor sperm. I am completely comfortable with that decision before anyone starts on the ethics. My daughters donor will respond if she wishes to contact him at 18. We got lucky and had our DD when I was 37.

The only bit that is tricky is we do want a second and are now a year into trying and needing IVF this time. The first egg harvest only got 1 blastocyst that passed screening. I am 40 so I know that the I probably only have time for a few more cycles.

That said I love my DD to bits and if she is my only one then so be it.

summertime94 · 01/02/2026 06:54

I was in a similar position last year (age 33) and getting married. Also wanted to wait until married until we TTC so we started trying straight after the wedding. It took us 5 months to conceive and I'm estimated to give birth just after I turn 35.

I would recommend getting fertility testing done for you and your partner, this gave me peace of mind to wait until after the wedding but had the results not been good we probably would have done things differently

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