40 years old and just discovered I am pregnant today for the first time

[OneKookyRedFox]

Ok deep breaths……I’m 40 and have just found out I am pregnant today. I have never been pregnant before and have quite a complicated gynae history - ovarian torsion/laparotomy and oophrectomy at 18. Lletz procedure mid 20’s….awful break up with long term partner 3 years ago who I thought was going to be “the one” .I guess children was something I thought would never happen.

I’ve had peri menopause symptoms for months and the last few weeks they have really ramped up. Awful palpitations, waking up every night 1am til 5am and my period which is normally pretty regular was a few days late (normally 23/24 day cycle, today is day 29)

I thought it was worsening peri symptoms and something in me made me go out and by a test……I’ve done a clear blue early detection test and very much positive.

My partner and I were not actively trying, but at the same time I haven’t been on birth control and we’ve been using the old pull out method which has worked thus far in our 2.5 year relationship but I know in my own heart I always wanted the opportunity to become a mum…..

He doesn’t know yet. He’s a divorced dad with an 8 year old who he has 50% of the time and absolutely dotes on but I know finds it all quite stressful. I really hope he’s going to be okay when I tell him.

Today doesn’t even feel real. What do I need to do? Get some folic acid? Book a gp appointment? Re test again soon? Obviously this is all very early days and anything can happen. My heads a shed!!!

I’m sorry, but as an ‘older’ mum, I really hate it when this gets peddled out and we’re made to feel guilty for being late to parenthood. I was also 22 when my mum died, but she had me at 26. You die when you die. Your mum dying at 62 is young. My mum was even younger. It’s shit and I miss her too. But every parent, whatever the age they give birth, wants to “look after themselves” and be in their kids’s life as long as they possibly can, so can we please leave out the guilt tripping and woman blaming.

OMG! Congraaaaatss mama! What an exciting time

I worked with a woman whose aunt got married at 18. She gave up trying for a baby in her 30s and she was told it wouldn’t happen.
Thought she was going through the menopause and found out she was pregnant at 48. Had a healthy baby.

Many congratulations!!! I hope he reacts well to the news.

This!
I know a lady who had her children in her twenties and died of cancer at 45
And another (my gran) who had one at 42 and died in her 90s.
This is great news for the OP. If she is otherwise fit and healthy, she will be fine.
I hope it's good news for her boyfriend.

If it hadn't already been said

Get yourself on the 5mg dose of folic acid via your GP

Sat in the school car park waiting for my children to come out and your post filled my eyes. I really hope you get a beautiful ending, I'm sure your partner will be made up once he's had time to absorb the news xx

1000% agree. 40 here and 37 weeks pregnant and my pregnancy has been so smooth compared to my pals who had kids at a much younger age. Also statistically you have a longer life expectancy giving birth over 40.

Congratulations! Just to say, make sure you mention the LLETZ to your midwife and demand regular (fortnightly from 12 weeks) cervical length scans. The likelihood is everything will be absolutely fine but if there is any issue it's best to deal with it early.

Thanks for all the kind words of support everyone. It’s been a huge shock.

I have been directed to self referral for pregnancy/midwifery services so I’ve signed up to that and should hear from them shortly.

How on earth do I broach this with my boyfriend at the weekend? I know we will have time to be alone and the entire weekend to process it as his daughter is at her mums house…..

Today was tough. Bless him, he was supposed to be working from home but came in to work because he wanted to see me for a “lunch date” (sweet) and to attend his meetings in person in the afternoon. I just couldn't face telling him in a hospital canteen in the middle of his work shift.

Hello 👋🏼
I’m also 40 and 30 weeks today, no one has really mentioned my age and last time I saw my midwife she said i was the youngest of the three ladies she’d seen that day 😂
I am just taking the pregnacare and also a sachet of spatone in some oj daily.
the only thing I really would recommend would be the private NIPT test at 10ish weeks, we came back high risk for Down so had the NIPT through the NHS as the measurement of fluid on the back of his neck was on the higher end of normal and then the screening midwife said then my age screwed it further, however she did say that my test would always probably come back as higher risk due to my age anyway. It really was a horrendous wait for the results and I so wished I had had the NIPT done privately at the earliest opportunity.
I am sure your partner will be absolutely delighted when it sinks in, what beautiful news.
I wish you all of the very best

Oh bless you. I know how you are feeling right now. I found out I was pregnant after the usual symptoms when I did a test after disappearing upstairs for a bath. It was positive at age 42 when I had been unable to conceive at all until then. My now DH already had two young children of his own. I lay in the bath in shock and fear, I felt sick, but knew I could not keep it to myself. I got dried, dressed came down the stairs opened the lounge doors and said the words, "I'm pregnant". My DH's mouth fell open and he still recalls the look of shock on my face. He was lovely and understanding outwardly - if he was anti the baby at first he never ever let on. We now have a beautiful 12 year old boy. Please find the strength and tell him your lovely news.

Congratulations OP. Just wanted to add some words of support. When telling your DP, remember relationships can look however you like and whatever way works for you and families come in all forms. Both of you need some time to think it all through.

Take care, wishing you all the best.

Congratulations OP hope all goes well.

Your DP will get a few months not having to pull out, hope you both enjoy yourselves.😀

Congratulations OP, that is wonderful news. I hope it goes well with telling your partner, if neither of you has been worrying about contraception it wont hopefully be too much of a shock. Enjoy pampering yourself!

Congratulations! I had DD when I was 42, she was absolutely fine. Yes to folic acid, also recommend Vitabiotics pregnancy vitamins.

Woo hoo - congratulations

Thinking of you talking to your partner this weekend hooe all goes well . I remember being the same about telling my DP now DH he was very happy so was my mother other person I was nervous of telling
I know everyone is different but I am sure a lot of ladies are nervous telling partners of unexpected pregnancies. I do hope all goes well xxx

How did it go OP?

Hear hear. I would also like to say that women who have babies post 40 are 4 times more likely to live to 100!

I had my first baby at 40, OP. Welcome to the club!

it went well!

I think he must have known something was up as when I walked in he said “Is everything ok??” - I just shook my head, burst out crying, and then flung the test at him 😂 (dramatic much?)

I immediately got swept up in a great big hug and I don’t think the true shock set in for him until about an hour later.

Needless to say, the dinner plans were cancelled. He took himself off to the supermarket on his own (think the poor guy just needed some alone time) and then we
spent the evening cooking a lovely casserole together. Everything’s good

That is the cutest thing!! Delighted for you!! He sounds like a keeper :)

Aw 💛

So pleased for you Op. congratulations

That’s lovely to read and just as my own experience with how positive he was. So happy for you