2 under 2? Do I do it?

[Livingmydream25]

Me and my husband have always said we want children close in age, to the point when we were buying pram for our first baby we were looking at how well it converts into a double. The second I gave birth I said I wanted another 😂😂

We said that in the new year we'd start trying and that always felt so far away but suprise, the new year is here!!

My baby is 10 months old atm, so if we were to get pregnant straight away there would be a 19 month age gap. Anyone with a similar age gap- do you wish you waited or would you recommend?

For context: My little girl is becoming more and more independent every day and her communication is quite good, using gestures and signs to try and tell me what she wants. However she's also very cuddly. She doesn't tolerate her pram for very long and I use a mix of the pram and carrier when we are out. She is breastfed and in the day mostly contact naps. Her night sleep isnt too bad, she will wake twice for a feed and then gets into our bed at around 6:30am so I can stretch another hour of sleep out of her. She will be starting nursery when she is 14 months, twice a day.

A bit more context: I am also thinking about how work will react. I officially go back to work in February but have annual leave until April. I'm not sure how they would react if I was to go back pregnant again. I actually started my job already pregnant and was there for 6 months before going off. They were super supportive but upper management (my bosses, bosses, boss) refused to sign off my preceptorship which I had finished, once they found out I was going on mat leave.

I also have two clingy dogs that we love dearly but do overstimulate us now we have a baby 😂🙈

I clearly love chaos and have always thrived in chaos.

I know realistically every age gap comes with different challenges and there's never really a "right" time but based on experiences, do we follow the itch or wait it out???

You might not conceive while still bf...
I have small gaps of 14 months.. And 20 months. Both perfect ime..

Ahh this is the classic age, where you have got over the birth, your baby is cute and smiley but not yet fully mobile and sits happily surrounded by toys making you think 'this is lovely, wouldn't it be nice to have another one' unaware of the destruction that could await when you have a toddler. In short, no, lots of people do it and are absolutely fine, but I suspect a three year gap might be slightly saner.

Mine are 18 months apart and I went back pregnant after my first maternity leave. The gap has been great and although it was a bit full on for the first three months, it’s been brilliant.m ever since. They’re very close and were very good at entertaining each other when the youngest could sit up.

I have a 26 month gap so a little longer (conceived second first try while still breastfeeding round the clock for what it’s worth!)
There’s pros and cons to every age gap, and a lot depends on both yours and your children’s temperaments, but I do think having them closer is helpful when it comes to entertaining them because they’ll do the sam activities. Personally this makes my life easier, though other aspects are harder. My family member has a 9 year gap between her 2 and is definitely having a different experience!

You might get pregnant quickly or slowly it’s not that much in your control. But I’d probably give it a few more months to try for your body’s sake.

I have 22 months between first two, and another 22 months between second and third. I obviously think it’s a good gap! 😂

Yes, I'm also aware of this and if we don't get pregnant quickly that will be fine. We were told we may expect problems getting pregnant the first time and ended up getting pregnant first cycle after coming off of contraception. My periods ended up coming back when I was 3 months pp. I went onto the pill and was bleeding twice a month. I came off a couple months ago and fell into a normal cycle (wish I never started the pill tbh but that's another conversation) ... but a long winded way of saying we want to prepare for if we get pregnant quickly again just in case!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts x

Haha! I love this... I've heard the itch tends to hit people around now. Our babies trick us into thinking we have it all together and then another milestone hits 😂

Mine are 15 months apart. Not planned but a very happy accident! It was great having them so close together - they were entertained by the same things and had similar needs. They are very close now, as adults.

My niece and nephew are exactly a year apart and all was great for them too.

I actually feel a small age gap is best - but I’m probably biased.

I’ve enjoyed having close age gaps. Two of my older children have a 13 month age gap, I feel like you are still in that baby stage mindset as a parent so it all just flows, you don’t have to remember or get used to to the baby stage again as you are already in it.
im currently exclusively breastfeeding my 5 month old and I’m 5weeks pregnant. So they will be 13 months apart too.

How did you manage when they were babies together? Will I go insane 😂😂🙈🙈

My oldest 2 have 14 months between them. I loved having them so close together and seeing the bond they have. I have friends who had close age gaps that found it unbearable and struggled to cope. I think its very much an individual choice but also can depend on what the older child is like.

This is said in kindness, but why don’t you enjoy your first child before being forced to split yourself and your time between two very young children? Nothing prepared me for the guilt of not spending the same one on one time with my eldest when my second child was born, and he was five by then. What exactly are the benefits of having two very close together? Why not just relax, enjoy, and give it another year. I have to say I do slightly chuckle when I hear parents wanting another baby when they already have a young baby, they have no idea of what toddlerhood looks and feels like - it’s not all cute baby smiles and cuddles. Perhaps make more of an informed choice once your baby is slightly older?

I have 18 months which has worked well. Although one year i will have gcse and a levels in the same year!!!!!!

I enjoyed nott having to do a school run with a baby.

16 months between no.2 and no.3 definately worked better than the 3.5 years between no.1 and no.2.
For a little while people asked if they were twins.
Very close when they were little although now they’re teens they are very different people.
Have 18 months between no.3 and no. 4 so have A-levels and GCSE’s together this year.
There is never a sweet spot for age gaps you just have to work with what you get although they all dote on their 1yr old baby brother so maybe that is the ideal one.

I go between the two. I have worked with children im various settings and know that toddlers are WILD!
Our reasons for having another close are:

• we just have that itch, she's so lovely with babies it makes us super broody 😂
• we love her so much we just want 10 of her!
• we actually want 3/4 children and I waited until I was slightly older to have my first as I am a specialist Doctor and wanted to make sure I was qualified first so I wasn't balancing education, rotations etc with a baby and could comfortably go part time. So don't want to be "too old" when trying for our final baby.
• I have an exactly 2 year age gap with my sister and we are super close

But understand there are also lots of cons x

We have a 3 year age gap and at first I thought what the hell have we done! 🤣 we’ve ruined it. But that only lasted a few months, then was out the trenches with night feeds and colic and now I would like a 3rd 😂 sad knowing it’s your last baby and the time goes so much quicker with your 2nd because your on the go

Depends on how old you are and how long you have to have potentially three more children? I wouldn't go for 2 under 2 unless I really needed to personally. Although a lot also depends on your support network and your partners working hours as well.

I have 16 months between my two on purpose and now they are 1 and 2 respectively I am beginning to see the benefits! I was super super well planned though with all kinds of things particularly sleep and childcare support.

I’d say go for it then! Sounds like it’s definitely what you want x

I had a 22 month gap and it was great. Small enough that they have spent a long time happily watching the same tv and playing the same games and generally getting on very well. There was a period when childcare was insanely expensive but we coped.

DC1 kept up his afternoon nap well into late toddlerhood so with a good double buggy I had many afternoons with them both asleep in the buggy while I enjoyed a nice walk and a coffee.

Something to consider, can you afford x2 sets of nursery/ childcare. Would you be able to afford 2 children in university at the same time? I have a 5 year age gap, I wish it was closer as the younger years feel never ending but( and I never thought of it at the time!) We wouldstruggle to get 2 through uni if there at the same time ( if they go)

What is your preceptor and how important is it? If it is important I think that I would go back to work and start ttcing the night it is signed off!

I found going back to work after my first very hard. I just wasn’t the employee I was pre kids and I hated that. Being pregnant would have made that even harder I think.

I had 3 under 3. It was manageable. And now they are grown and all leaving secondary school one after the other. I wouldn't have done it differently looking back.

i had
newborn
13 months
3 years
9 years
and two older not at home.

i found out i was expecting number 4 when number 3 was 12 weeks old. It wasn’t planned and i was apprehensive (although we definitely wanted a last child but maybe not quite that soon!)
It was fine. I’m a stickler for routine and took them all out of the house every morning after the school run. We had lunch out (some times packed lunch in the park) and back for a nap/ quiet time. It was hard work but lovely to see them grow together.
The youngest is 11 now and him and his 12 year old brother are super close. He’s just passed the exam to go the school his brother is at and they are both delighted to be together again in September.

The uni thing has occurred to me too. It’s so much more than I thought but we will find a way somehow.

16 months between my older two. By far the easiest age gap. 8 and 7 now and get on so well, their early years were filled with so much fun because they entertained each other and were on the same schedule. Everything was done at the same time, nappies, weaning and sleep schedules. It was fantastic. Still is! I do worry about college, uni and driving lessons but as others have said, we will find a way.