About to be a first time mum at 40 !!!!!

[NoisyJadeWriter]

I’m 40 and currently pregnant with my first baby. I’m feeling a mix of excitement and nerves about becoming an “older mum” and would really love to hear from others who’ve been in a similar position.

My husband is 45 and we’ve been married for 11 years. We’ve wanted children for a long time, and after a long journey, I’m finally expecting. I’m due in March and, so far, everything is going well, but I’m still cautious emotionally and a little nervous about what’s ahead.

I’ve decided not to find out the baby’s gender. Honestly, I just want a healthy baby and to be a good mum. We’ve been reading lots, attending antenatal and parenting classes, and trying to prepare as much as possible, but I know so much of parenting is learned on the job. I’d love to hear from other first-time mums, especially those having their first later in life, about what surprised you most, how you managed those first few weeks, and any tips for feeling confident as a new parent.
I’m also thinking about birth and hoping for a straightforward, natural birth if possible, but I know things might not go exactly to plan. How realistic is it to aim for a natural birth at this age, and what advice would you give someone trying to prepare mentally and physically?

Any reassurance, advice, or honest experiences would be so welcome. I’d love to hear what helped other mums feel ready and confident in those early months.

I’m very grateful I spent a lot of my mid-late 30s doing a lot of work on myself and I went to therapy by myself and my husband and I had couple therapy too. We sort of accepted that we wouldn’t have kids It was very tough especially in the house we bought it’s a family house, a few family members suggested we sell it as it quite emotional for us. We bought the house wanting to start a family. What made me start therapy was when my friend of 25 years got pregnant with her 3rd child at 37 I was so jealous I was of course happy for her but I realised how green and it made me sad because she made my husband and I god parents.

This is so silly but I feel so privileged to be pregnant and expecting a healthy baby. My husband and I will give this baby the world. I’m glad it took us this long I’ve really worked on myself and we’ve worked on our marriage I hope our child brings us even closer it’ll hard to adjust to a new life but we are so ready to give it our all. We’ve got so much support and I can’t wait to welcome baby!!

Congratulations ! !

Re the birth - I think an open attitude that you have is a good one. No reason why you shouldn’t aim for a vaginal birth however if baby needs a bit of help coming out then that’s the way it goes. I found BRAIN a hypnobirthing technique in terms of making decisions when interventions are offered useful so you and your partner could look that up. Things can change very quickly in Labour though so just bear that in mind.

re how to be a confident mum :/ I think that there’s no way until you have your baby and you get to know them. One of the best pieces of advice a health visitor gave me is - you can read all the books you like but your baby hasn’t read them. I think it’s great to try and feel prepared but some babies just don’t play ball. A lot of the advice is conflicting or is made for the sleepers 🤣 don’t overthink it, trust your instinct. Everyone has their own hard - for some it will be bf or the sleep, for others it will be toddlerhood or juggling work. Enjoy the good times and it’s ok to admit that the tough times can be brutally shit no matter how wanted and loved your kid is! 💐

Congratulations, I had my first at 38 and my 2nd at 40.
I was pleasantly surprised at how many of us "older mums" there are at the school gates.

My biggest piece of advice would be to just give in to motherhood and embrace the chaos rather than trying to impose structure. Be led by baby and your instincts and you'll nail it

I saw one poster saying the found breastfeeding difficult over 40. Go with whatever works for you, my youngest DD refused to give up so I was 46 when I finally stopped breastfeeding.

Good luck, you've got this

Congratulations, it's so exciting isn't it!

I had my first when I was 39 and my second at 41 after several years of IVF and a miscarriage.
Ended up having an emergency c-section for my first and then an elective c-section for my second as both my boys were big babies.

Hated breast feeding though, did the first week for both of them then went straight onto formula/bottles, which worked for us, as to me, there was nothing more beautiful than my husband cuddling our boys while he feed them. We had waited so long for them and the way he looked at them, well, it just took my breath away.

The lack of sleep is really hard, you hear this from others but you don't realise how right they are until you are in it yourself. Luckily both mine sleep through from 12 weeks.

Good luck with it all. I remember holding my first born in my arms when he was just 4 weeks old and thinking life can't get much better than this.

Edited for grammar!

I had my first a 38 and second at 40. I had a section but it was due to conditions unrelated to age. I don’t think it makes any real difference to how you parent tbh.

Congratulations 👶🏻
Take care of yourself and please come back and share your happy news when the wee one arrives .
I am an older mum and have adored every moment , I feel very blessed .

Congrats! Becoming a mum for the first time, love will be such a gift to your little one. you must be so happy! 💕💕🥰

Cherryl Wishes you Lots of Love!!

Congrats, This is very Preggers.