I want a child but my bf doesn’t yet..

[strongmamaxo]

I have 2 children with my ex boyfriend. 5 and 2 years. I’m getting super broody but my bf wants to wait which obviously we will but how do I make this feeling go away?:(((

Sorry, is this a new boyfriend? How long have you been with him if you have a 2 year old with your ex-boyfriend? I am not surprised he wants to wait. I’d work on yours and his relationship with your existing children, both separately and together.

If your youngest is only two then this is a new relationship. Think about the sensible reasons for not having kids with him just yet - he's totally right to wait.

You’ve not been with him very long, why would you want to risk being a single parent again? He’s being very sensible, enjoy the two you have.

Focus on the young children you already have, who are navigating the new reality of their father not being around?

You grow up and recognise that being ‘broody’ is just a feeling and you’re an adult who can resist being led into decisions by feelings.

Your youngest is barely more than a baby and you want to get pregnant with your new man already?

What are your thoughts on marriage?

Being broody does not mean that you have a child to satisfy your own craving. Think about the needs of the children you already first, then consider the needs of any future child and then consider what you personally want. In that order.

This is not the time to be selfish.

I agree with pp- if your youngest is 2 how long have you been with him? Can’t be long. Are you living together?

You need to prioritise your children by taking things slowly.

@NerrSnerr yes we live together and have lived together for over a year now. He has no kids and says he does want one but wants to save more money. That’s the only reason.

How soon did you move him into your children’s home after getting together? You really need to slow down a bit!!

Why do you want another baby? Will you just keep having them every 2 yrs?

@NerrSnerr we’ve been together 2 years. My ex was toxic so this relationship is different . I knew this person before we even dated years back

Saving money, and spending more time as couple living together and letting the relationship develop further sounds like a brilliant idea.

Extreme broodiness is hard to live with, but he's only said not now, not never.

@StarsShiningOnANighttimeSeathankyou, the only person who’s made me feel better without judging. I also mentioned in my post that obviously I wouldn’t be having one anytime soon because my partner isn’t ready so I don’t know why everyone is jumping on me. I can have a feeling as a woman to want to expand a family Jesus x

Nah. What about your existing children? Especially the older one. Lots of change here. Witnessed a toxic relationship between their parents, then a new boyfriend and then a potential new baby. I think this is a bit reckless.

Children won’t fill a void

People are rightly pointing out that things have been moving very fast. In the space of two years your now 5-year-old has had to deal with their parents’ break-up, the loss of their father from their daily life, a new baby sibling, and then having to share their home with a new strange man. If you’re broody and need an outlet for it then the broodiness could be better directed at nurturing your existing children and acknowledging the big feelings they’ll have been having and their need for stability right now. If you’ve a history of a dysfunctional relationship which they’ve been in the middle of then all the more reason to nurture them - perhaps all of you could benefit from family therapy or play therapy.

Your current boyfriend doesn’t want to rush into having a baby in a situation he doesn’t feel is ready or right - this is a good thing.

Don't have anymore children, until you're secure and, ideally, married. You're moving wait too fast. Put your existing children first and give them some stability for a few years before introducing a new baby.

Thinking of practicalities, can you afford two lots of nursery fees + after school care for your older child?

You don’t really need to make the feeling go away, just remind yourself it’s a future plan and enjoy your kids, once of which is still only just out of baby stages themselves! It’s too soon for another even if he was ready, enjoy current kids and hope for more in the future. I’m assuming you aren’t 40+

A new boyfriend moved in when you had a newborn?

No, she said he’s lived there over a year, but not the full 2 years

Ok so the youngest is currently still 2 but what's to say little one isn't closer to 3? She could have split from the ex when baby was born and got with her partner some time after. Together for two years living together a year. It happens. People move on. I agree wait til both are ready to bring another child into the relationship

You’re right, sorry I missed it.