Pregnant at 41 and panicking!! Help!

[Alevelprep26]

I already have 3 boys, as my name implies my eldest is doing his A levels and just found out I am pregnant. I had a bit of an oops moment with partner and took Ellaone but clearly that didn't work. I am at the very early stages but what would you do. Note that my other kids are with ex-H and would love to have a child with my now partner. But obviously age and past preeclampsia means I am very worried. I know it's a personal question, but what would you do if you were in my shoes?

Some people are just born old!! I had my first at 37 my last at 41 and I’ve felt exhausted when they were newborns but never felt old ! I had my career was with DH over 15 yrs before I felt old enough to be a Mum 😂 I’m very fit , not that it matters … naturally young looking Mum . I’d run rings around most of the Mums in my 9 yr olds class. I’m 47 now and could easily be able for another baby but Mother Nature called a halt. I love to dance , go to a rock concert , can still pull off a mini skirt , shock horror wear a thong bikini, tomorrow isn't promised for any of us . I’m delighted to be doing the school when in my 50’s. Children are a blessing and if the baby’s wanted all the better Mother Nature will let you know of you are too old . At 36 I was a baby partying in vegas with DH . You are too young to feel old at 36 because you’ll be old until you die …that’s depressing . I’ve had a few glasses of wine so I’m slightly ranting ….but we don’t all seize up at 35 and that’s life over … sure some of us are only getting started at that age 😉

I never once said I felt old! I look and feel bloody good. I don’t think you like doing school run in your 50s and trying to justify it. I’m sure the mini skirt isn’t a good look at 50 like you think.

What’s so awful-about the school run in your 50’s? It’s a few minute walk with my child where we have a little chat. It’s not a form of torture. My decrepit 48 year old body manages it just fine with my 6 year old….it’s hardly an endurance test! Ex is 53 and doesn’t need a walking stick either….

I actually enjoy my child and parenting in my 40’s - I’m fairly confident I’’d have hated it in my 20’s though. I was having too much fun then. Now I’m much more chill.

I’m 43 with a 7 and 10 year old, so will be doing the school run with DD2 for another 3 years anyway. Currently about to pop with DC3, so will happily be in the late 40s/50s school run club, and not on my own either. One of DD2’s friends’ mum, of a similar age is a month or two behind me, so we can just be decrepid together…

We all make our choices and I’m not trying to justify anything … I hate the term but I’m speaking my truth …seem to have touched a nerve ! and I hate to derail this thread but we are all different , And why wouldn’t I wear a mini skirt at 50 ? I have great legs and it’s how you style it !! And as for the school run what’s the stress in that …?? You do you and I’ll crack on at enjoying my young kids and life . Regrets I have a few but then again to few to mention !

Unfortunately, I went for another scan privately at 8 weeks and was told that it was a missed miscarriage. No fetal heart rate. Although this was unplanned, I'm really heart broken to be honest.

My sister is 41 and has welcomed her first grandchild to the world.

Im 39 my son is 23 i wouldn't go back to the sleepless nights school run days for anything.

Really sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself for a while. Can you take a bit of time off work?

Sorry to hear your update.

So very sorry to hear this. Been through similar myself previously and it was devastating. Sending you strength to get through this time x

I'm so sorry to hear your update, be kind to yourself and take all the time you need. Thinking of you

Mine, both born when I was in my 40s, are now approaching 30.

Its tiring, yes, but in many ways much easier. On a personal level its nice to have mum friends who are younger. Having to stay active also brings benefits.

So sorry to read this - it’s such a horrible thing to happen. A surprise pregnancy at 39, which became an early MC, is what began my last TTC journey. I am now 43 with a 3 week old sleeping on me.

Sorry to read your update but why aren’t your children with you and how long have you even been with this partner? Maybe be more careful in future.