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Original poster

Baby Shower Present Lists..what would you expect?

73 replies

MissMontana · 10/06/2008 11:40

I have been given in invite to a baby shower and with it a list of items the mum wants, where theyre from and how much..ok fine..but my first problem is....i dont know this mum very well, i look after her daughter, we are friendly and ask how shes progressing etc etc, but not social together..altough, nice thought to invite me...now second problem is this list ranges in price from £40 to £400!!! and im required to ring a family member to discuss what i am buying, now las problem..it then tells me at the top of the list/letter that any presents or vouchers "must be acompanied by pampers"!!?????????????????????????

am i wrong to be gobsmacked? i didnt have a list but i understand that people do them so you dont get things you dont want/nedd/like, but at this price range and than accompanied my packs of nappies on top???

Oh and as its an all night affair, if people come later on we have to pay to get in!!????

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stroppyknickers · 10/06/2008 12:11

I was right! Gifts to grow, Pampers rewards - I bet they are going to cut out all the little tokens and get a stacking cup set (just checked Pampers website, how sad . Buy them Huggies instead.

kazbeth · 10/06/2008 12:16

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DarthVader · 10/06/2008 12:22

I thought a baby shower was tea and cake in someone's home in the afternoon with games and little presents - would expect present values from £2 to £10 in general and would feel frankly embarrassed if anyone spent over £30.

Would not dream of having a present list either...but this is a US tradition so I don't know how it works there?

Tinkerisdead · 10/06/2008 12:26

I'd refuse to go and like you say, buy a present when the baby comes. What on earth is on the list from 40-400 pounds, ok the pram is 400 but if i looked at other things i need for my PFB, im looking at things like cuddletowels at 10.00 for three, a cardigan 12.00 etc... what on earth has she asked for??? it is hideously rude.

Original poster
MissMontana · 10/06/2008 12:33

she's not from US either so i doubt a tradition were she is from originally.

The list is things like mechanical swing, baby bouncer, hihgchair, certain mobile for bedroom/cot and so on..there are clothes but its like "4 packs of babygrows from x(posh shop)!

OP posts:
DarthVader · 10/06/2008 12:46

Either don't go, or go and give her a babysitting voucher as someone else said, and say you thought she would prefer that to a present.

Or buy one of those packets of herbs you can use in water to ease/wash her stitches with!

This woman sounds a but nuts to me so I would be curious to go to the party and see what it is like!

belgo · 10/06/2008 12:50

It's quite normal to have a baby list in Belgium when the baby is born. We've had one for dd1 and dd2. Or a bank account number for a cash present. It's very convenient, and very practical for the new parents, but no way it is expected that presents are given. I still got given ten pink cuddly toys and hundreds of pink babygros when dd1 was born all very much appreciated of course.

pigleychez · 10/06/2008 13:01

Blimey that sounds abit OTT.

I would probably make my excuses and buy something when baby arrives.

We got married last year and didnt have a list then ... just find it abit cheeky saying Buy me this!
We received lots of vouchers and Thai Currency for our honeymoon instead which was fab.

hanaflower · 10/06/2008 13:11

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mrsboogie · 10/06/2008 13:38

I am speechless at the rudeness and greed. How awful. I wouldn't go even if she was a close friend if I was presented with a demand like that.

TheProvincialLady · 10/06/2008 13:42

The idea of a baby shower nauseates me at the best of times but this is particularly revolting.

Your duty now is to knit, no crochet something really hideous. And present it with a packet of Asda nappies, largest size.

sleepycat · 10/06/2008 13:47

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PortAndLemon · 10/06/2008 13:50

I really wouldn't go. I know they have baby showers in the US, and I hear that they are just beginning to creep in over here, but the way this has been phrased I am pretty sure would be tacky even in the US. Any invitation which includes the word "must" at all is tacky, IMO.

(to be fair to the expectant mother, baby showers are supposed to be organised for you by friends / family, so it's possible she doesn't know what they've done and that her nursery list, like hanaflower's, was originally set up to stop grandparents buying random stuff [hopeful emoticon])

MrsTittleMouse · 10/06/2008 13:54

sleepycat - we had some friends who moved to the US. Their friends there held a baby shower and they lost the baby the next week.
I am far too neurotic to get/receive gifts until after the baby is born.

belgo · 10/06/2008 14:06

the only time I've ever been to a baby shower, I've given a gift to the expectant mother (it was a surprised baby shower organised by her friends). When the baby was born, I gave a present to the baby.

slinkiemalinki · 10/06/2008 14:14

MissMontana - suspect you are not the only person who will react like this. I think she might get a bit of a shock!

Elmosgirl · 10/06/2008 14:23

Blimey I really missed out not having baby showers with my two didn't I!!!

I would not go, how horribly rude of them.

Elmosgirl · 10/06/2008 14:23

oh and what on the list was 400.00??

Essie3 · 10/06/2008 14:34

So RUDE!
Here's another example...
My oldest friend just asked me if it would be ok to buy me a present from Mothercare. I was touched, and said she could buy from a charity shop, Asda, or anywhere, or nowhere. Turns out that she'd bought some plain white babygros from MC for another friend, who phoned her to 'thank' her but to say unfortunately she wouldn't be using them because her baby was only going to be wearing organic cotton clothing. (Not like you can buy acrylic babygros!)
My friend was more shocked that this woman had said something, rather than just accept them and sell them on e-bay or whatever!!

God, I hope hormones don't make me become this rude!!

Essie3 · 10/06/2008 14:38

Kazbeth - brilliant idea of giving to charity. (I just made a donation because hormones made me cry at a TV advert - I'd just washed all my babygros and realized how fortunate my little baby will be when there are children with nothing...)
I would do that, because (although I'm ashamed to admit it) I would feel most smug at making a Big Point and being holier-than-thou...

WheresTheAuPair · 10/06/2008 14:49

wow that seems cheeky of her! I think gifts should be at the givers discretion and not via an expensive list. If I was you i'd go armed with a card with a newborn pack of pampers or some babygros. lol.

belgo · 10/06/2008 15:10

I would be tempted to give a paket of terry nappies and nappy pins rather then pampers

WideWebWitch · 10/06/2008 15:11

at the greed of this

hanaflower · 10/06/2008 15:13

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mrsboogie · 10/06/2008 15:14

very good point about the possibility of something going wrong. I haven't bought a single thing myself as I am too paranoid. The thought of filling the house with baby things demanded from friends weeks or months in advance fills me with horror.

If people do have to have a baby shower (which I think is a nauseating prospect) they should give gifts to the mum to be and give baby presents after if they want to.