Severe sickness and I feel like nobody is listening

[Pregnantera]

I started with sickness in the middle of September and it’s still ongoing. I’m sick at least once every day and up to 5 times. I’ve gone off so much food and drinks I feel stuck for what to try. I’m dizzy and tired everyday.
I’ve been to the doctors multiple times to be told it’s normal and my hormones are doing what they need to do. I have Cyclizine and I reckon my body is used to it now so having no effect at all. I’m told there is nothing stronger that is safe for my baby. Because they won’t listen to me I have been forcing myself to work a full time job and trying to plaster a brave face on it all. Only to find that the best I am doing is not enough.
But I am at breaking point now, I can’t get out of bed at all today, I have no fight left. I have nowhere left to turn and I’m so miserable. I don’t know that I can survive to 40 weeks. I just need someone to listen to me and to tell me what to do.

I really feel for you it's so debilitating.
Like you l struggled on with first pregnancy it felt endless, but with second pregnancy (that l was adamant wouldn't happen due to severity of sickness throughout first one) l went to the Drs and they signed me off work until the symptoms were more tolerable.
Could this be an option for you ?

I’m frightened to take sick leave in case people judge me badly over it but I am getting desperate now so it’s something to consider. It’s not normal to be sick for 3 months though and be expected to continue as normal. The stress of the job alone is too much and I’m laid here with sheer panic about what I have still to do.

I would contact Pregnancy Sickness Support, they will listen to you and help you advocate for yourself and understand what medications are available to you. They can give you peer support via Whatsapp to support you emotionally as well. If this has been going on since mid September, then I'm hoping that it should only be a couple of weeks until it starts to improve.

As someone who vomited nearly every day through both pregnancies, honestly get signed off work. It's all worth it, I promise (!), but pregnancy definitely wasn't what Hollywood had led me to believe. I was working full time and absolutely stressed and miserable. Getting signed off at 28 weeks was the best choice I could have made and I don't regret it to this day. X

@Pinkosand thank you for your suggestion, I’ve put in a request for them to contact me so hopefully I can get some support soon.

@mummabubs I feel like it’s coming to that point for me, just never have been a person to be off sick so it’s hard to accept. I hope just a few weeks to rest up and I would start to feel much better again. Hollywood had me fooled too - pregnancy is not what I thought it was going to be!

I was horrendously sick both pregnancies over twenty years ago, so no meds given. I had to take six weeks off work each time. With DC2 I actually lost weight whilst pregnant! The first time I was fine by 15 weeks, the second I’m afraid I feel awful almost the whole nine months. I would wake from sleep to go and be sick. I sympathise.

Absolutely the same, the only time I've ever been signed off in 13 years was due to pregnancy! No one will judge you OP, honestly it's not worth slogging on for xx

@Pregnantera I've been signed off work too, I had absolutely no choice as I was so sick. I honestly have no idea how you've continued to work!! Also I was prescribed xonvea which does take the edge off, can you ask about that? Not sure how many weeks you are now but I found my sickness got a lot better around 15 weeks but was still there until very recently and I'm 26 weeks now. Hang in there, it really does get better I promise x

There are other medications available, try and see a different GP or contact your local Epau or ante natal triage.

I had this through both of my pregnancies. The second one I was a full time teacher in the early years and little kids would follow me to the bathroom whilst I was going to be sick etc! It was horrendous and I honestly thought it would never end.

But, it did. I got signed off for a few days every now and then, just to get myself some rest etc. You have to be kind to yourself

I didn't get signed off until it became more tolerable, because it didn't. It was constant. But take time every now and then, when you're feeling it's getting too much and rest up. It will keep you going!

You're only human.

I had this and I was prescribed some travel sickness tablets but apparently I could get them over the counter anyway. They helped a bit. It was horrendous though and there's no way I could have worked. I didn't have it with my first so not every pregnancy is the same. There really needs to be more support and understanding. I felt so ill and would honestly rather go through labour than vomiting everyday for 3 months. Remember you are growing a mini human being in there.

There are definitely other medications available. Go back to your GP and refuse to leave until they give you something else.
Sickness is awful. I was signed off work for 3 months with my first over 20 years ago - drugs weren't really a thing. With my second, I was definitely more assertive with the GP.

@DemonsandMosquitoes I have lost weight too - I was only 9 stone to start with but still managed to lose half a stone. I can see my rib cage but no baby bump!

@mummabubs thank you for your reassurance, I will consider calling in sick Monday!

@Pennyroses I have a desk job so that has helped but so dizzy standing to go to the printer! I don’t know how I have managed. I am 15 weeks on Monday so hopefully the end is in sight.

@GreenFrogYellow thank you - will try different avenues!

@BedtimeBeliever oh gosh! How did you manage with all those children feeling so sick! True I don’t have to be off sick for months just a week as and when I need it.

@Apacketofbiscuitsaday I can honestly say this is the worst thing I have ever experienced. There was me fearing labour when I didn’t realise it would be the sickness that would get to me the most. It’s brutal how long it goes on for - most sickness hugs last a few days but this is a few months!

@Seeline thank you - I feel like I just get dismissed as being weak everywhere I turn. I will try and be more forceful!

Thank you everyone for your support and encouragement. I have felt a lot less alone because of you all! X

Your GP is talking nonsense OP! There's loads of different anti sickness meds that are frequently used in pregnancy. I feel so angry on your behalf that you've been suffering for this long without them even trying other medication options! Pregnancy Sickness Support are amazing they will give you some great advice that you can arm yourself with to speak to a different GP. Ice had severe pregnancy sickness in all my pregnancies but the 'best' was my most recent one which was the only one I tried Xonvea in and I didn't need to try any other meds, it worked better than any other I'd tried in my previous ones. Cyclizine did absolutely nothing for me except make me very drowsy, it was awful.

Oh I feel your pain! I'm 17+3 and have been signed off work since mid September. How on earth have you managed to keep going?! Please don't feel guilty about being signed off. At least you're protected by law and this WILL end when the baby is out at the very latest.

You can do this!

I was on two different anti-sickness meds from about 10 weeks in my first pregnancy, so honestly your GP is talking absolute rubbish. You deserve to be taken seriously, not dismissed.

If someone’s fobbing you off like that, I’d be asking to speak to a different GP or letting your midwife know what’s been said. You can also ring your maternity assessment unit for proper advice — they’re usually much more clued up about pregnancy sickness than random GPs.

Big hugs 💗 It’s so frustrating when you know something’s not right and you’re being brushed off. You’re not imagining it.

Agree with others to try again with the GP, you could also try your midwife. There are quite a few different medications that can be considered. I’m currently on cyclizine and prochlorperazibe and signed off work. With all that I’m just about coping at 9 weeks. It seems virtually impossible to get Xonvea in my area, it can only be prescribed by a specialist which is annoying. Really hope you get some time to rest and feel better soon.

Hi OP, try and keep a few dry snacks near your bed to eat before you get up and buy some seasickness bands. They may help. Also keep pressing your doctor.

You got this!

You poor thing. I had really bad sickness with ds1, ended up going from 14st to 11st in the first trimester. I found I was ok after about 14 weeks or so but only if i avoided certain foods. My diet was really very restricted but as long as i kept to it, then i was ok. The tiniest thing would set it off though, an advert for pizza hut would set it off and i had to go ou of church when they did communion because the smell of the wine would make me throw up.

Hi OP I’m so sorry you’re struggling and that because of your rubbish GP you’ve been trying to soldier on.

There are other medications available and many women find a combination better than a single one. At the peak of my sickness second time I was on xonvea, ondansetron, cyclizine, prochlorperazine and omprazole. Omeprazole is an antacid and can help quite a lot by reducing stomach acid so works a bit differently to the others. Ask Pregnancy Sickness Support for further info as they have detailed fact sheets on different medications and can help you advocate with yourself with difficult GPs.

Both pregnancies I had to stop working for a while. With my first I had 3 hospital admissions and was off work for about 3 - 4 months. Second time with better medication I only (!) needed 2 months off. Don’t feel bad about it. Just do it. Trying to push through will make you worse and just make it harder for you to get to place of (relative) wellness. My sickness lasted the whole pregnancy both times BUT was well controlled with medication by about 25 - 28 weeks both times. Resting is really important.

I know it’s hard to accept when you’ve never really been this ill but pregnancy sickness is extremely debilitating and you can get very unwell if you don’t take it seriously, so please keep pushing for help and get time off work if you need it. It’s temporary because it’s related to the pregnancy and work can’t treat pregnancy related sick leave in the same way as normal sick leave so they will just have to manage!

Thank you everyone for your support and encouragement. My husband rang 111 this morning after I woke up at 5.30 having another panic attack about managing another week. He was told to take me to hospital and I was seen by an understanding doctor who checked me out and prescribed me some different medication. She also said I was to take time off work and I will need to contact my GP tomorrow for a note. It feels a massive relief not to push through work and the Christmas social on Friday. Hopefully the new tablets help me and I can start to feel like myself again soon. Just having someone listen to me has helped no end so I really appreciate it.

I had HG earlier this year and ended up sadly terminating and that was the last thing I wanted to do. Nobody would help me and they were more concerned about the small
risk of cleft palate and heart issues in the baby than they fact I was telling them if they didn’t prescribe ondansetron I couldn’t carry on. I was so ill and now also depressed as it wasn’t something I wanted to do.

I’ve since found a private gynaecologist who has promised to treat me immediately on getting a positive test and will admit me if necessary for IV anti sickness etc and even steroids if needed but I’m so heartbroken at the lack of support on the nhs

@Iwashereyouarethere I am so sorry you were driven to that decision. I have to admit I had thought of that as an option for me too. Nobody should be left to feel so sick without proper help and support. No wonder you are heartbroken! I hope that you do get support in your next pregnancy and things don’t get so bad ever again. The NHS is broken unfortunately.

Thankyou it has just been awful. The nausea just crept right into my mind and I was waking at 3/4/5 am having panic attacks and crying because I couldn’t even drink and my lips were bleeding and dry and I just couldn’t get anyone to help or listen. I only found pregnancy sickness support charity after the termination . I’ve been ttc from virtually straight after the termination and I’m so sad that I didn’t fight harder for the support and right medication but my mind wasn’t right and I couldn’t speak up for myself

@Pregnantera I’m glad you’ve finally had someone listen and got an alternative medication to try. In my second pregnancy I got a peer supporter from pregnancy sickness support and she was such a massive help, just having someone to chat to who just gets it is a huge help.

@Iwashereyouarethere I am so so sorry at what you went through. You were let down so badly by our medical system, it’s so so hard to endure without help and medication so please don’t blame yourself or feel you should have done ‘better’. Advocating for yourself when you just trust the professionals and they aren’t helping you is almost impossible. I’m glad you’ve found a better doctor for the future.