Struggling with Early Pregnancy following MMC

[DaLouO]

Hi everyone!

This is my first time posting in a group or on a forum in general, but I was wondering if someone was going through the same who can relate to my situation, maybe talk me down a bit or give me some reassurance if they’ve experienced similar.

I have two children from a previous relationship and am now engaged and pregnant to the absolute love of my life.

Having just found out I am pregnant whilst we are trying to plan our wedding it was a bit of a shock to us (I had the coil out in August as we had planned to start trying after the wedding anyway so it was a happy surprise).

However, I experienced a missed miscarriage in my last pregnancy in my previous relationship. This was the darkest and most lonely time of my life.

That brings us to now, I am really struggling with anxiety about my pregnancy news, I can’t stop doing tests and I am going insane with worry that the tests are fainter, clear blue digital isn’t increasing with weeks etc. I have only known I am pregnant for a week so I know I’m being irrational and I can’t help it.

My partner is the most supportive amazing man and he is telling me to stop and what will be will be, worrying does no good it’s out of our control and completely not either of our fault and there is nothing we can do to stop it if we do go on to lose the baby but it’s pointless worrying when we can’t control it, and I know he is talking sense.

I just feel really helpless and it’s becoming really compulsive that I worry I haven’t had many symptoms, I worry the tests aren’t getting darker and I worry that we will get to a reassurance scan and they will give us bad news.

Any help/ support or advice would be amazing.

thank you so much for anyone reading this rambling worried post! Xx

Can you post the pregnancy test lines so we can see this progression? It’s natural to feel like this after a mmc so don’t worry it’s totally normal.

@Itonlytakesonethank you so much for taking the time to reply. I have had only had pregnant 1-2 weeks on clearblue, which I know is to be expected. My worry lies with the lines on the tests I have done, I would have expected to see darker test lines by now, as I have done with all 3 of my previous pregnancies. I will insert them below:

Below is the tests I did, top is 5th November, bottom is 6th.

These are the ones I have done yesterday and today with the most recent one being at the bottom.

I'm sorry for the position you find yourself in. It's easy to forget that while pregnancy can be bring positive feelings like joy, it can also be triggering for a variety of reasons.

Perhaps, given your previous pregnancy, it's worth finding out if you can get an early scan? And if not, perhaps get one privately?

It might help to see things are where there should be to help calm your anxiety.

@Outside9thank you for your kind and sensitive comments I really appreciate it, in our area the EPU won’t scan unless given specific reason to, i.e bleeding etc. we have booked a private reassurance scan for the 22nd November so we only have until then to wait to check everything is okay, it does feel like a lifetime away though!! Xx

yes I can see it definitely looks fainter. From my experience it looks maybe pointing to a chemical? I’m only saying what I’m seeing on here I don’t want to upset you but i would be taking it cautiously being realistic so to protect yourself either way. I hope everything is ok though.

@Itonlytakesone no, I completely understand that, I would rather people be honest than give me false hope in any way at this point. Thank you for taking the time to read and reply! Xx

I know I’m same i want honesty not ‘oh everything will be fine, when maybe it won’t?’ You’ll have to update us all either way now!

@Itonlytakesoneyes I definitely will! I will just have to see how it goes! Thank you xx

i am sorry you are going through this, I know how it is hard - try taking it a day at a time - i mean if the whole day you haven’t had any bleed and no pain - call that day a success. And then the next day and so on each day.
soon you will see it has been a week, a month …

i wish you best of luck, stay positive and try to enjoy each fay being pregnant 💐

@cinnamonda Thank you so much for your very kind comment. I know I should be over the moon I’ve even become pregnant again I know this is a feeling a lot of ladies would love to have. I will definitely take your advice on board and just see every day with a positive test as another day still pregnant with is great. Thank you! Xx

You do just have to take it day by day.

I had a mmc in 2022 with twins. Had a positive scan at 6, then 8 weeks. Lost them at 10 weeks. I fell pregnant with my son 3 months later and spent the whole 9 months expecting to lose him, early pregnancy was hell. Especially with a MMC, you know you don’t necessarily lose symptoms or bleed during a miscarriage.

Take it day by day, mark off the weeks on the calendar.

Truly the anxiety never left until I held my baby but things did ease once I started feeling kicks.

Congratulatins and take it easy xx no one can tell you the outcome but for most woman a miscarriage is a one off event. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy

Can you go private and get a blood test done? I did that in early pregnancy and they checked 3 days apart or something to see if the HCG levels were increasing. My DH thought i was lunatic with the number of tests. Good luck, I hope this is the one.

@Rocketships008thank you so much and it’s lovely to read your story, I got to 11 weeks with my mmc, never suspecting a thing because I’d had two previous healthy pregnancy’s and didn’t feel anything was wrong. I think that’s what’s so worrying to me, that you truly don’t know or have an idea that something is amiss. The only positive I am taking right now is that tests are still coming up positive and I think that’s what I am hanging on to. Thank you so much for your lovely comment, I am marking the days off until we get to the reassurance scan, praying for a positive test each day! I’m not going to put too much pressure on the tests I have done as I know the latest one is slightly fainter but they are all done at different times of the day and different brands so I know that can vary!

@ColinVsCuthbertunfortunately I don’t have the option to go privately with Christmas and already paying £100 for a reassurance scan we’re just not in a position to pay the funds for that right now so I suppose it’s just a waiting game. But thank you so much for your kind comment

xxx

I couldn’t help myself and I have tested again today, both tests are the same sensitivity - I have known about my pregnancy since 5th November. These tests were done at 1pm so nowhere near first morning urine.

i would have thought I would be getting darker tests and “dye stealers” by now as I did with my previous pregnancies.

I have had no bleeding or negative tests.

I know I’m being annoying and very overly anxious but is this reason to be worried or not?

@DaLouOtesting with FMU is the most reliable way to see progress but even then the strength of your urine will vary so it’s not necessarily an exact science. I obsessed over tests but they ended up causing me more anxiety in the end, I don’t think it’s helpful to keep testing once you’ve had your positive

@firsttimepregnanthelp I know I’m being very silly, I know I shouldn’t be but it’s like I can’t help it. I’m waiting for the booking in call from the midwives and I am going to be telling her how I’m feeling. Thank you xxx

@DaLouO honestly, an MMC is a dreadful thing and having lost many babies, one of the most difficult for feelings to be resolved because there are no answers.

My children are 30 and 27 now and honestly it was easier 30 odd years ago when these super sensitive tests weren't available and the best ones were a tenner, so we didn't use them indiscriminately. It didn't mean that subsequent pgs weren't very stressful, they were. But most people bought a test when they were a week late and accepted the result.

Might some therapy be helpful?

Good luck.

@DaLouOits not silly, it’s normal given your experiences - you’re looking for some kind of certainty and control, I was the same. I hope it goes well when you speak to the midwife

It’s hard… I’ve had one MMC, then infertility, then one successful pregnancy, then another MMC. I’m currently pregnant now (just found out on Monday) and terrified of having a third MMC.

With my successful pregnancy compared to the two MMC there was no difference in tests and their progression. In fact the strongest positive I’ve ever had was with my first MMC pregnancy, so strength of the positive definitely doesn’t reflect on it being a successful pregnancy or not.

I understand how stressful pregnancy is after having a MMC! ❤️ Just get through one day at a time until you have a scan ❤️

Thank you so much, that’s really reassuring to know.

my partner and my sisters have been a wonderful support tbh, and my sisters did say to me yesterday that normally people would only test once and then just accept it, so most people wouldn’t actually know whether tests were different or not so how do we not know this is more common and normal? This really put my mind at rest.

obviously, my first two healthy pregnancies I really took for granted and did only test once and then used a digital for fun.

I’ve really calmed down about it all now.

congratulations and love to you on your amazing news to.

I have my fingers crossed for us both xxx

Will your nhs gp not do hcg testing

Or if not -, you could get that done @ a private clinic?

Theres a charity called
The worst gang ever

Who can be a great support with pregnancy after loss

Tommys baby charity are also ace

I’ve booked an early scan at a private clinic on 22nd November!

my gp have refused any blood work as I have hypothyroidism so they have stated I need to be seen in clinic by a consultant following my 8 week booking in appointment.

Thank you I will take a look xx