Struggling with Early Pregnancy following MMC

[DaLouO]

Hi everyone!

This is my first time posting in a group or on a forum in general, but I was wondering if someone was going through the same who can relate to my situation, maybe talk me down a bit or give me some reassurance if they’ve experienced similar.

I have two children from a previous relationship and am now engaged and pregnant to the absolute love of my life.

Having just found out I am pregnant whilst we are trying to plan our wedding it was a bit of a shock to us (I had the coil out in August as we had planned to start trying after the wedding anyway so it was a happy surprise).

However, I experienced a missed miscarriage in my last pregnancy in my previous relationship. This was the darkest and most lonely time of my life.

That brings us to now, I am really struggling with anxiety about my pregnancy news, I can’t stop doing tests and I am going insane with worry that the tests are fainter, clear blue digital isn’t increasing with weeks etc. I have only known I am pregnant for a week so I know I’m being irrational and I can’t help it.

My partner is the most supportive amazing man and he is telling me to stop and what will be will be, worrying does no good it’s out of our control and completely not either of our fault and there is nothing we can do to stop it if we do go on to lose the baby but it’s pointless worrying when we can’t control it, and I know he is talking sense.

I just feel really helpless and it’s becoming really compulsive that I worry I haven’t had many symptoms, I worry the tests aren’t getting darker and I worry that we will get to a reassurance scan and they will give us bad news.

Any help/ support or advice would be amazing.

thank you so much for anyone reading this rambling worried post! Xx

@DaLouO so sorry for what you've been through. Pregnancy after an MMC is so hard as you really don't feel like you can trust your body at all. I've experienced multiple chemical pregnancies (2 before my now 4YO and another 2 before my MMC in March this year). I found the MMC the hardest as the line progression on my tests was SO good and I had so many symptoms, so when I went for a private scan at 8 weeks and there was no heartbeat, it floored me. My body had no idea, my symptoms were still there and I had to have a D&C at 10 weeks as it just wouldn't let go.

I got my next BFP in June after waiting for my cycle to return to normal and am now 23 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby. But the anxiety at every stage has been next level. I, like you, was testing loads and actually whilst early line progression was good, it seemed to stall on both cheapies and FRER before getting a dye stealer, I also didn't get a 3+ on a digital. But, I made the decision to stop testing for my own sanity because I knew from my MMC that the line progression actually didn't tell me anything. I honestly felt a huge weight lifted after I stopped testing... which I didn't think I'd be able to do given how much I have tested with all my pregnancies due to all my losses. So if you can, I'd step away from the tests completely and take it each day at a time until your scan.

Ask if you can speak to the bereavement midwife team at your local hospital - I found them such a great support and they also pointed me to a local baby loss support group which I found really comforting to be surrounded by people who completely understood my feelings and situation (obviously sharing a current pregnancy needs to be done sensitively, but there was no judgment or hurt feelings, only care, love and support).

Pregnancy after any loss is so hard - it's sucks the joy out of it. Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with as much support as you can, which it sounds like you do have a great network - lean on them as much as you need.

Thank you so much for your comment!

your story really resonates with me. I found out I had had a mmc at 11 weeks the baby had stopped developing at 6 and I had no idea at all.

I think that’s what made it worse the shock factor of it all and it’s like I’ve stopped trusting my body to be able to keep my babies safe now.

they did ask if I wanted counselling and a memory box at the time, I declined everything. I just wanted it to be over.

i have been speaking with my sisters and partner and partners mum about it a lot and they’ve been really kind and it has really helped.

again thank you so much for your comment and I’m so sorry for your losses too, I hope you’re doing okay xxx

Same experience as me. My MMC tests were soooo dark! My sickness was also worse than with my successful pregnancy.

@DaLouO Firstly, I’m so sorry you went through an MMC, I went through one at my 12 week scan in June so can totally empathise with everything you’ve said. Pregnancy after loss is so tough and can cause masses of anxiety, I think it’s very normal you’re feeling nervous so don’t beat yourself up about that.

I’m currently 17 weeks pregnant and had many moments of worry too! And a couple of reassurance scans, as you can’t help but worry after an MMC, it’s such a difficult thing to go through, so give yourself grace in this moment.

I’m certainly no expert but to me it looks like in your pictures they are getting darker, even if slightly. I would say it’s worth taking them at the same time every day in the morning and not do any more the rest of the day, if you do feel you need to take the tests, as my understanding is that they only get lighter throughout the day.

The other thought is to try and accept that they are positive and if you can go down to test every few days instead, easier said than done when you just want to know all is ok!

Great you have an early scan in, and you can explain to your doctor that you’re feeling particularly anxious and worried due to previous loss and they might send you for an early reassurance scan?

Please know you’re not alone with feeling worried. Ultimately there is nothing you can do at this stage other than try and focus on other things and accept that you are (as either way you will feel big emotions) and wait, and try and trust the process (this bit is very hard I know!) sending all the love your way! And try and do something nice for yourself today! 🩷

I had a miscarriage in December 2024 so only last year. Found out I was pregnant in May. Its been a whirlwind of a journey. Everything is fine but my anxiety has been awful. I also fainted during my glucose test which made my anxiety worse. Im currently 28 weeks. Im a little less anxious but its still there. I tested loads at the beginning too. Was so scared of miscarrying again. Sending my love ❤️

Thank you all for your lovely lovely comments.

Honestly, when I’ve read some of them I’ve sat and cried at all of you sharing your experiences, at just how supportive and kind complete strangers can be and how you’ve given me hope.

I did a test yesterday morning using a digital and an Asda test and it was the darkest ever and the digital had gone up in numbers. I feel really really positive right now and I’m not going to do any further tests and just wait for my scan on the 22nd but I just wanted to say thank you to each and every one of you.

Sending love and well wishes to all that are pregnant or trying to conceive ❤️ xx