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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Anxiety after loss

37 replies

OneHappyDreamer · 03/10/2025 13:38

Hi everyone.

I sadly had a miscarriage April 2025 and recently after 6 months of trying I have finally got my positive at 9dpo! Haven't missed a period yet and lines are getting stronger each day however I am on edge constantly worrying that if I go to the toilet there will be blood. I have been experiencing mild cramps like period cramps but nothing major and I'm scared it's going to turn the same way. Any advice? Are cramps normal :( anything to put my mind at ease right now

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Bookwormmumuk · 03/10/2025 13:42

Hiya i totally get that i had 3 miscarriages before I had my wee one and truthfully i was anxious until she was here safe and in my arms. Cramping that early on is totally normal and I actually bled alot during my pregnancy that didn't end in a miscarriage which was really scary but apparently happens to some women. All you can do is keep positive and try to distract yourself, easier said than done i know. Ive got everything crossed for you and praying everything turns out ok for you.

Original poster
OneHappyDreamer · 03/10/2025 14:01

Bookwormmumuk · 03/10/2025 13:42

Hiya i totally get that i had 3 miscarriages before I had my wee one and truthfully i was anxious until she was here safe and in my arms. Cramping that early on is totally normal and I actually bled alot during my pregnancy that didn't end in a miscarriage which was really scary but apparently happens to some women. All you can do is keep positive and try to distract yourself, easier said than done i know. Ive got everything crossed for you and praying everything turns out ok for you.

I'm sorry to hear of your losses that must of been awful :( I am trying to keep positive but it's always in the back of my mind what if. I am receiving counselling atm too due to the last loss so hopefully if I speak to them I'll feel a bit more at ease too!

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Ciderapplevinegar · 03/10/2025 14:02

To be honest it never really goes away. All you know is that right now you are pregnant, and as far as you can tell, right now everything is fine. And just one day at a time.
I still find myself checking for blood and I'm not even pregnant!

cinnamonda · 03/10/2025 16:28

Ciderapplevinegar · 03/10/2025 14:02

To be honest it never really goes away. All you know is that right now you are pregnant, and as far as you can tell, right now everything is fine. And just one day at a time.
I still find myself checking for blood and I'm not even pregnant!

This! A day at a time.
best of luck and thing positive thoughts

Superscientist · 03/10/2025 19:40

I had two losses last year but the next pregnancy stuck. It gives a different edge to pregnancy. I joined the November after loss thread even though I had an end sept due date. It really helped to have other ladies experiencing pregnancy after loss going through something similar. There's a due may after loss thread you might find it helpful to see other women experiencing pregnancy after loss

Samthenanny · 03/10/2025 22:35

Congratulations, I’m with you. I’ve had 3 losses, last was in December a week before Xmas and I’m finally pregnant again, 5/6 weeks and every time I go the loo I look, every cramp I get I worry.
im trying to not overthink things and take each day as it comes until my early scan when seeing a heartbeat might put me at ease x

Original poster
OneHappyDreamer · 04/10/2025 08:49

Superscientist · 03/10/2025 19:40

I had two losses last year but the next pregnancy stuck. It gives a different edge to pregnancy. I joined the November after loss thread even though I had an end sept due date. It really helped to have other ladies experiencing pregnancy after loss going through something similar. There's a due may after loss thread you might find it helpful to see other women experiencing pregnancy after loss

I'm sorry to hear about your losses :(. So happy to hear the next one stuck though 💗it is hard especially suffering a loss already cause i feel like I should be happy I have wanted this for so long but then it's always I the back of my mind what if. I was due next month with my first baby and this one is hopefully around May I believe or june but obviously won't know for sure until I see someone!

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Original poster
OneHappyDreamer · 04/10/2025 08:51

Samthenanny · 03/10/2025 22:35

Congratulations, I’m with you. I’ve had 3 losses, last was in December a week before Xmas and I’m finally pregnant again, 5/6 weeks and every time I go the loo I look, every cramp I get I worry.
im trying to not overthink things and take each day as it comes until my early scan when seeing a heartbeat might put me at ease x

So sorry to hear of your losses but so happy to hear your pregnant again,congratulations! I am the same.. every cramp or everything I go to the bathroom I feel like I'm just going to see blood. Hopefully though these babies stick for us💓

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Original poster
OneHappyDreamer · 04/10/2025 08:53

Ciderapplevinegar · 03/10/2025 14:02

To be honest it never really goes away. All you know is that right now you are pregnant, and as far as you can tell, right now everything is fine. And just one day at a time.
I still find myself checking for blood and I'm not even pregnant!

I don't think it ever will tbh I just have to put on my big girl boots and realise ATM I am pregnant and everything seems OK. Until I have anything major like bleeding then I can worry properly but it will still always be in the back of my mind. I am the same even when I'm not pregnant too😄

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TruthUnwinding · 04/10/2025 08:54

I am really sorry to hear of your loss. I have had 5 losses and no children, but am now 12 weeks pregnant and things seem fine so far. I found that Zoe Clarke Coates book 'Pregnancy After Loss' really helps with the anxiety, and also being part of the Worst Girl Gang Ever 'Pregnancy After Loss' whatsapp group . (It's free to join WGGE). WGGE have kept me sane during the past 2 years of multiple losses. Sending love, it is really hard - but a positive test is a very good sign. <3

Original poster
OneHappyDreamer · 04/10/2025 08:55

cinnamonda · 03/10/2025 16:28

This! A day at a time.
best of luck and thing positive thoughts

Show quote history

Thank you so much. That's all I can do is take it a day at a time and just try my best to think ppsitive. I think as well because my due date is coming up with my first that I miscarried on the 26th Nov that's also making me more anxious but just gotta think happy thoughts haha x

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Original poster
OneHappyDreamer · 04/10/2025 08:56

Thank you so much. That's all I can do is take it a day at a time and just try my best to think ppsitive. I think as well because my due date is coming up with my first that I miscarried on the 26th Nov that's also making me more anxious but just gotta think happy thoughts haha x

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Bluffingwithmymuffin · 04/10/2025 09:24

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I had 2 miscarriages and I'm now happily pregnant (16 weeks) so I empathise with the anxiety. Tbh I am struggling with anxiety despite positive scans and think I will do until I get through the 20 week scan. Outside of pregnancy I am laid back and not anxious at all!

The first trimester felt very long, I had a reassurance scan at 8 weeks which helped break up the wait to the dating scan - you can ask your GP/midwife to refer you for one. I'd also recommend telling someone close to you how you're feeling so you've got someone to talk to in real life on days when everything feels too much.

RaeEve · 04/10/2025 09:25

I’m sorry about your previous loss, I also had a miscarriage in April this year and understand the impact it has physically and mentally. I was fortunate enough to fall pregnant again quickly and am now 14/15 weeks and due the end of March. I did really struggle in the beginning and think I didn’t form any attachment until I had had my 12 week scan when I could finally believe it was real. I’m still nervous and check for blood every time I go to the toilet, but I’m just telling myself that as far as I know, and was told at my last scan, that everything was progressing well and am trying to focus on that rather than any potential problems. I hope that everything goes well for you x

Superscientist · 04/10/2025 10:29

OneHappyDreamer · 04/10/2025 08:49

I'm sorry to hear about your losses :(. So happy to hear the next one stuck though 💗it is hard especially suffering a loss already cause i feel like I should be happy I have wanted this for so long but then it's always I the back of my mind what if. I was due next month with my first baby and this one is hopefully around May I believe or june but obviously won't know for sure until I see someone!

Show quote history

I didn't find out I was expecting again until Feb at 7 weeks as I didn't get my period after my last loss. My first due date was about 3 weeks later and a colleague had a similar due date to I had that reminder. My second due date was in July and a friend had the same due date. That one was easier as I was further along in the pregnancy.
I think I checked for blood on the tissue right up to giving birth! I couldn't bring myself to buy anything either. We picked up the newborn clothes on my way to the hospital to be induced and the crib didn't come out of the loft until he was born! I had some pregnancy complications towards the end and I got quite unwell so until he was there in my arms I didn't believe it was actually going to happen!

Samthenanny · 05/10/2025 08:31

@OneHappyDreamer i had very intense cramps yesterday late morning and thought the worst, started crying getting myself worked up and was so anxious going through loo but all was fine.
done another test this morning which was a dye stealer so today is new day

Original poster
OneHappyDreamer · 05/10/2025 17:03

Samthenanny · 05/10/2025 08:31

@OneHappyDreamer i had very intense cramps yesterday late morning and thought the worst, started crying getting myself worked up and was so anxious going through loo but all was fine.
done another test this morning which was a dye stealer so today is new day

So glad to hear it wasn't what you thought and you've had a dye stealer! I bought off amazon a clear blue set one with the + and one digital for 10.59. + came up straight away which I would of thought anyway seeing as I've been getting positive tests all week and still no sign of period that is due today. Still anxious to do the digital thought haha idk why

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sparklerr · 06/10/2025 08:38

Hi everyone,

Joining in as I’m in a very similar situation. Had a positive test yesterday with a clearblue early digital, not sure of my exact DPO but I’m not due my period for 5 days so it’s v v early. Tested as I had to get antibiotics last week and was so sure it would be negative. Even said no when the dr asked if I could be pregnant! Now I’m panicking and waiting to call them to see if I should finish the course or stop taking them.

I had a MMC at 11 weeks in June with surgical management. We had been trying again but I was just feeling so down and hopeless about it I convinced myself it wouldn’t happen.

Hoping that we all get through the v anxious first few weeks and thinking of you all going through the same wait!

Original poster
OneHappyDreamer · 06/10/2025 14:35

sparklerr · 06/10/2025 08:38

Hi everyone,

Joining in as I’m in a very similar situation. Had a positive test yesterday with a clearblue early digital, not sure of my exact DPO but I’m not due my period for 5 days so it’s v v early. Tested as I had to get antibiotics last week and was so sure it would be negative. Even said no when the dr asked if I could be pregnant! Now I’m panicking and waiting to call them to see if I should finish the course or stop taking them.

I had a MMC at 11 weeks in June with surgical management. We had been trying again but I was just feeling so down and hopeless about it I convinced myself it wouldn’t happen.

Hoping that we all get through the v anxious first few weeks and thinking of you all going through the same wait!

Hey lovely! So sorry to hear about your mmc :( depending on what anti biotics you are on it may be worth speaking to the gp to make sure they are still safe to take if you are pregnant? cb digital usually takes more hcg to actually show so if you've got a positive I'm sure it will be but if you're concerned maybe test over the next few days. I am currently away ATM my period was due yday but no sign so did a clear blue and it's confirmed I am 2-3 weeks which in my last pregnancy, I was this far long but my clear blue said 1-2 and then I miscarried so I'm hoping everything is progressing as it should be! It happens whenever you least expect it. Please keep us posted! X

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Peonies12 · 06/10/2025 14:44

Sorry for your loss, and congratulations. I had a late loss before having my 1 year old, and I’d really recommend getting some counselling. I did it between rhe loss and getting pregnant again, and jt helped me so much. I have started again since having my baby as I was struggling post partum with anxiety. It is such a big help to me, has really got to the root of my anxiety and i know will help me be a calmer mum

pbdr · 06/10/2025 14:59

I had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks in August last year. It was horrible, and took weeks and weeks to pass all of the products. I got pregnant again quite quickly and am now holding my healthy 1 month old girl in my arms. She was more than worth everything we went through to have her, and it has helped us to heal so much from our loss.

i really hope this pregnancy works out for you. All of your pain and anxiety is not for nothing. One day you’ll be holding the lovely result of putting yourself through all of this and you’ll be so glad you did it, however hard this part is.

Original poster
OneHappyDreamer · 06/10/2025 18:19

pbdr · 06/10/2025 14:59

I had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks in August last year. It was horrible, and took weeks and weeks to pass all of the products. I got pregnant again quite quickly and am now holding my healthy 1 month old girl in my arms. She was more than worth everything we went through to have her, and it has helped us to heal so much from our loss.

i really hope this pregnancy works out for you. All of your pain and anxiety is not for nothing. One day you’ll be holding the lovely result of putting yourself through all of this and you’ll be so glad you did it, however hard this part is.

So lovely to hear you have your rainbow baby after a mmc! I really do hope that it does work out, the obsessive testing has stopped now as I have ran out of cheapies and begrudge spending 20 pound on a clear blue but had that confirmed today on a cb that I ordered off of amazon before I ran out of the cheap ones. X

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Original poster
OneHappyDreamer · 07/10/2025 05:22

TruthUnwinding · 04/10/2025 08:54

I am really sorry to hear of your loss. I have had 5 losses and no children, but am now 12 weeks pregnant and things seem fine so far. I found that Zoe Clarke Coates book 'Pregnancy After Loss' really helps with the anxiety, and also being part of the Worst Girl Gang Ever 'Pregnancy After Loss' whatsapp group . (It's free to join WGGE). WGGE have kept me sane during the past 2 years of multiple losses. Sending love, it is really hard - but a positive test is a very good sign. <3

Edited

So sorry to hear of your losses :( its awful isn't it.im in a lot of support groups on Facebook already but always get a bit weary messaging them but will definitely look into the WhatsApp group <3 I hope you're pregnancy is going well! X

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Samthenanny · 15/10/2025 20:36

How’s everyone doing?

Original poster
OneHappyDreamer · 15/10/2025 23:41

Samthenanny · 15/10/2025 20:36

How’s everyone doing?

All okay over here samthenanny! 6+1 today. Had a bit of a scare yesterday but think it was just baby getting comfy. Had a scan on my kidneys and bladder today due to recurrent water infections and they even let me have a peak at little one to make sure they were the right size for how many weeks I am and so far so good everything seems to be going okay. How you doing?

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