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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Should husband go to wedding 4 hours away, 4 days before due date?

61 replies

lemonpeanuts · 30/09/2025 17:54

We have been invited to a wedding which falls 4 days before my due date. The wedding is at least a 4 hour drive away from our home. I'm happy/made peace with the fact that I probably will decline the invitation but am I naive about the idea that my husband could still go?

He is reluctant to but I'm saying it could be possible. Any early signs of labour and he can be on his way back straight away? First time pregnancy so obviously don't know what to expect or know what is realistic.

Any thoughts/advice welcome!

OP posts:
Fargo79 · 30/09/2025 19:34

If he goes, there is a chance he could miss the birth of your first child. If both of you are unfazed by that possibility then he could go. I think most couples - myself and DH included - would not want to run the risk and would therefore decline the invitation.

Kdubs1981 · 30/09/2025 19:34

Absolutely fucking not

Kdubs1981 · 30/09/2025 19:35

My first baby was born exactly four hours after my first slight twinge

Bluehels · 30/09/2025 19:44

No. Just no

Superscientist · 30/09/2025 19:54

My first was born at 38+6 and my second at 37+1 with both I needed my partner from the start of things kicking off and couldn't have waited 4h to get him back. 4 days before due date we had a newborn to look after in both cases.

My waters went at midnight with my daughter and I had to go in to be checked over. In the 12h between my waters going and baby arriving I had 3 trips to the hospital and I wouldn't have been able to drive myself. Active labour was 2 and a half hours.

i developed pregnancy complications with my second and has 2 examinations for preterm labour due to contractions starting at 33 weeks, had two admissions due to extreme fatigue, couldn't look after myself or my daughter and had to stop driving. I was called in for an induction with no notice - how soon can you get to the hospital situation.

Mama09876 · 30/09/2025 21:21

My husband works away. 5hrs on a good run so I’d say depends on how close of a friend/family member the wedding for for?

If my husband was home and the wedding id probably say not good idea

also with my first I was 5hrs from my waters going. I was having on and off contractions throughout the day but it’s risky being so far away with traffic etc!

(I’m just hoping I don’t go early 😂)

OutOfDateTreacle · 30/09/2025 21:24

No. Too far and too close to the due date. Decline politely - everyone will totally understand.

Slothey · 30/09/2025 21:28

Both my DDs were born by then, the first one with no clue that she’d come early until about 2hs before she did.

I’m very relaxed about this stuff - I traveled a lot while pregnant and worked up until the last moment.

But if you want him at the birth, he can’t risk this.

Zempy · 30/09/2025 21:29

Not if he is intending to be at the birth. No.

Dippythedino · 30/09/2025 21:31

DD came 5 days early so your husband shouldn't attend the wedding, it'll be absolute madness if he did.

CagneyNYPD1 · 30/09/2025 21:36

Your DH is reluctant to go because he knows it is too risky. Listen to him.

My first labour was 5 hours in total.

Woompund · 30/09/2025 21:38

No!! He's likely to miss the birth! Just why would you do this??

Iwantsandybeachesandgoodfood · 30/09/2025 21:40

Absolutely no chance! I had mine at 38 and 39 weeks so “4 days before my due date“ I had a newborn. I’m sure the couple will understand that you’ll both have to decline.
I also totally agree with the poster above who said about your partner being both your and your baby’s advocate.

DeliciouslyBaked · 30/09/2025 21:41

Both my DDs had been born by then (DD1 - 38w, DD2 - 39+3w). If he is reluctant to go anyway, let him decline. If you push him to go, and he misses the birth of his first child (not all first labours are late and / or slow), then you risk him resenting you for it.

BertSymptom · 30/09/2025 21:45

I can sort of see where you’re coming from as when I was pregnant everyone told me my first baby would be late and the labour would be long.

However, that was not my experience on either counts so it would be mad to risk it.

FuzzyWolf · 30/09/2025 21:46

I was told the one day in your pregnancy that your baby won’t be born is your due date, although statistically that’s not actually true.

Most labours take long enough that he could get back in time for the birth but you might find you labour quickly, or he’s missing at a crucial time when you need him to advocate for you. It also seems quite rude to the B&G to potentially get up part way through their ceremony and leave.

Needspaceforlego · 30/09/2025 21:56

Op who's wedding is it?
Is it UK?

I'd be tempted to say you BOTH go. Whats the worse thing that happens? You go into labour 4 hrs away from home and rock up at the nearest maternity hospital?

But I'd only take the risk if it was a close family member, sibling, who's wedding I really didn't want to miss.

HerbieFluffyDumpling · 30/09/2025 21:57

No

caringcarer · 30/09/2025 21:58

It just took close OP. I went 10 days overdue with my first but a friend had her baby 5 days early. Due date is not exact.

Cheeseballer · 30/09/2025 22:05

No way, why risk him missing the birth of your first child?
There's a strong chance you'd have already had the baby by then anyway

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 30/09/2025 22:22

Terrible idea.

Births are so utterly unpredictable. Why would you risk your DH not being with you. You may need the support, or you may just want the support. You won't know until the time comes.

User5306921 · 30/09/2025 22:25

anytipswelcome · 30/09/2025 18:25

It’s just not worth the risk is it? And tbh I think if he did go then people would be baffled as to the choice he made to be there so close to your due date so conversation would be quite awkward all night!

This. But a bit more than baffled.I'd say he'd go down in many people's estimations.

EnchantedToMeetYou2 · 30/09/2025 22:28

@lemonpeanuts It’s nice to hear about a sensible DH on here for once 😂🙌🏻

Far too close. Perfectly reasonable to decline the invitation - I'm sure the couple will be very understanding 😊

DaisyChain505 · 30/09/2025 22:34

No it’s far too close.

From the bride and grooms perspective I would rather you just say no now instead of saying your husband will attend and then risk him potentially not being able to go after his space at a table was planned for, his food was paid for etc etc.

whynotwhatknot · 30/09/2025 22:42

no not a good idea-i was first born hour and half my parents always tell me the story if my dad going to fix his car and they had to run out to find him as it was so quick

your husband might not make it back i time