My baby daddy doesn't want to trllnhis parents that I'm pregnant

[Kemelomommy]

I'm 27 years old and 36 weeks pregnant, my baby daddy and I dated for few weeks before i got pregnant. He started ignoring me when I was three months pregnant. He also hasn't told his parents about my pregnancy, and refuses to meet me to discuss anything related to the baby. I don't know what to do, this is my first baby and his second( his first lives with his parents). His excuse is that he's always busy and tired. I feel like my baby will be born and her daddy will always see her as a mistake.

It's a HUGE difference! Not having his name on the birth certificate means he he can't suddenly waltz in on a whim at any time in the child's life up to the age of 18 and start insisting on contact, or certain schooling, religion, or anything else. If he wants these rights, then he can go through the court process to acquire parental responsibility , which at least would begin to demonstrate a sustained commitment to his child.

You're 27 years old, a fully grown adult, yet you seem to be incredibly naive and behaving as if you're a teenager, believing all the crap spouted by a feckless loser. The cop stuff is just laughable, I've lived for decades next door to a now retired police officer who worked in an area of law dealing with particularly nasty and violent people, he managed to live with his wife and children all the time.

What on earth possessed you to be happy with a pregnancy by a man you'd only known a few weeks, whose child lives with his parents and who trotted out the old shit about begging you not to have an abortion because he'd be with you all the way. He's a terrible father to give a child, surely you realised that?

If you wanted an abortion why didn't you have one instead of bringing a child into this shit show? You're going to be a single mother, you need to face it. The man won't be any help, he's not interested, he's one of those that thinks it's cool to shag and impregnate women but then have little or no input into their children's lives afterwards i.e. the worst type of father. That's why he hasn't told his parents because he won't be having anything to do with the child.

Oh please OP, surely you didn't buy that. That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a long time

So no police can have their kids live with them as it’s dangerous? Rubbish.
He sees his existing child every four days?
You will be a single parent. He’s a waste of space.

I’m pretty sure the whole argument about putting him on the birth certificate or not is moot, as he would either need to go with the OP to register the birth or provide written confirmation in advance that he consents to that? Default would therefore be getting on with it without him.

And quite often these men do indeed show up after the birth of a child and tell the mother what she wants to hear so she takes him along. It’s a very valid discussion, not moot at all.

I could almost have bought the other child thing if it was ‘lives with his parents because he works shifts and it’s more stable for her to be in one place with constant carers, but he also lives there and sees her daily’ (assuming her Mum is not in the picture at all). He sees her every 4 days because he’s threatened by wrong’uns isn’t even a well thought through lie.

Land at the door with their grandchild

You got pregnant after a few weeks by a cop (notoriously bad partners) who has already dumped one child on his parents (and he's not doing 'everything for her', he's not even there FFS).

Get your head straight and start making some right choices. He's not interested, he will never be interested (see: first born child) and once the kid has arrived get CMS involved.

Also invest in some long term contraception until you've managed to acquire some bloody sense.

This is nonsense you've been fed OP, I can understand grandparents helping if he's a single parent but no police officer gets threats to the point their child can't live with them. Have you met his family? What has he said about his daughter's mother? Is it possible he's still with her mother and lying to you?

Oh girl, best forget about this one. He’s no good.
Continue to prepare being a single parent. I hope you have family, you could bypass him and tell them yourself they may be decent grandparents.

The situation with the first child should have told you everything you need to know and the sensible thing would have been to steer clear.

I know policemen and they live completely normal family lives.

If you choose to have a baby with someone you dont even really know, you have to expect to go it alone, IMO.

His story is bullshit.
Prepare to be a single parent.

You are going to be a single parent. Don’t put him on the birth certificate or give the baby his surname. File a claim for maintenance as soon as the baby is born.

Oh god, what awful circumstances to have a baby in. I really do feel sorry for the child. As their mother, you should have considered all of this before.

I’m sorry but this is complete rubbish .Have you actually checked that he hasn’t got a partner , have you met his other child ?

She'll have had the baby by now

Oh yeh that’s true. I didn’t see the age of this thread

Sorry OP but the police excuse is nonsense and seeing his child for a few hours every 4 days isn't doing everything for her, not even close. You'll realise this when your baby is born. He sounds like a shit.

Ah just realised this is old. I hope he turned out better than we all expected!

Blinking heck, I’m not saying it’s right but it’s no wonder he’s too scared to tell his parents when they’re already taking care of their grandchild. I think you need to adjust your expectations and go from there. Be realistic and move forward.

I didn’t even look at the date , what on earth makes people resurrect threads like this

I don't know!

Christ I just read the OP when it popped up on active and thought ‘fucking hell how many women is this ‘threatened cop’ knocking up and lying to, I’ve read this before!’ and now I realise it’s a zombie thread 🧟

Don’t subject your child to this. She must never know that you don’t think her father wanted her.