Who do I call in labour?

[Mslongears]

I live with my partner and two young children, with no family or friends around. He works long hours and he is just awful at answering his phone. I've currently been trying to call him since 8am regarding an appointment I have, because I need to confirm that he'll be around for childcare. No luck. He's always been dreadful at answering the phone. So now I'm starting to worry about when I go into labour! I'm actually considering a home birth because of this, but because of previous complications they're going to want me in hospital for constant monitoring. So what do I do if it happens while I'm at home with my child and I'm unable to get hold of him?! I've expressed my worries and he says there's not much he can do because if he's busy he can't answer the phone, which I do get. I feel I need a backup, but I know no one😫Baby #4 so will likely come quick too, my last came in 1 and a half hours!!

If you genuinely cannot rely on him to answer his phone then you need to find a childminder who is prepared to swoop in and look after your children when needed so you can get to the hospital. Start looking now so that they can have a chance to get to know the kids etc first.

It's pretty shit that he can't commit to answering the phone when you are giving birth to his child.

Can you call his boss? So his boss can make contact with him?

He is his own boss

I think that's going to be the only way. And he can pay for it!! 😂

"I live with my partner and two young children"

"I feel I need a backup, but I know no one😫Baby #4 so will likely come quick too"
Baby 3 or 4??

This is so weird? I would be so fucked off by this. Does he really care so little that he can’t guarantee that he’ll check his phone every hour in case you go into labour?

Unless he’s flying a fighter jet, performing surgery, or firefighting, I can’t see how this is impossible?

Baby #2 was a late term miscarriage. So this will be my 3rd living baby, 4th pregnancy

This. None of which are self employed generally. I can't really think of a self employed job where he couldn't at least ring you back 20 minutes later if he was really busy (can see if he's an electrician or something he might need to finish what he's doing first).

He needs to keep his phone close at hand so that he hears it ring, it’s not like you are phoning for a chat, it will be to tell him you’re in labour. He is needed!

You need to think before you ask questions like to ffs

What on earth does he do that he can’t answer / can he be ‘on call’ via a colleague who can inform him you are in labour?

I’m more shocked you seem to be so accepting of his complete shit-ness. Even if you weren’t pregnant you have two young children and he should be contactable in less than 5 hours in case there was an emergency!! Presumably he manages to make/return calls to get work??

Or get a smartwatch so you can text "LABOUR!!!" and he'll see it in his wrist.
Not phoning back for hours is not normal behaviour. No job is that important! Is he de-fusing an IED? At the bottom of the ocean? Negotiating a hostage situation?
Is it possible he's got a drink or drug problem? Only asking because that's a relatively common reason for not responding within a normal time frame.

Why isn’t he answering his phone to his pregnant partner?
What is so important about his job that he can’t?

I would be telling him it's not acceptable and that I expect him to answer when I'm heavily pregnant. There's no excuse at such a time.

Right? I read this and assumed there was a good reason why she referred to this baby as #4. Some people are thick.

You definitely need a back up- grandparent, other relative, friend, childminder.
Does he actually care about you and his children at all though? The fact that he can’t give any reassurances to you about this speaks volumes.
Is he even planning on taking any paternity leave?
He needs to be promising that around your due date he will keeping his phone close at all
times and will have some sort of back up plan in case he’s called away at short notice (does he have any other staff?). The best you can do is probably let him know at the earliest opportunity if you think you are in labour. Hospital probably won’t want you in until contractions are regular and frequent anyway but the last thing you want to be doing is stressing while trying to contact him and yeah of course that’s assuming all will be straightforward and of course it might not!

@Lifejigsawmaybe the poster just thought the OP had made a typo somewhere… no need to jump on them for asking a question

Was he present for your previous labours and deliveries? Who will mind the children while you are in labour? How will you get there if it is he who is staying at home with the children? Xx

Seems drastic but what if you gave him an emergency phone or a pager that you only call if it’s an emergency eg waters breaking or hospital trips

Can you get him a pager and tell him it will only ever go off if you are in labour

Are you in the habit of often calling him? Maybe he gets sick of it 🤔

I assumed she had an older one that was no a ‘small child’ and lived away.
either way not sure what we’d need to question OP as it’s not relevant and could have been a typo even.

He’s his own boss… self employed surgeon? Firefighter? Early years teacher? I can’t really think of a self employed job where you’d not be able to take an emergency call or see a message on a watch. He needs to step up!