Ss Pre birth assessment

[Annikin271]

Im 34 weeks pregnant and just been told to do a pre birth assesment with social services because I had an ambulance come to me few weeks back and one of the paramedics reported I smelt of stale alcohol (I haven't been drinking) i dont know why they said that because all the other doctors said i didnt smell at all but now social services want to get involved and assess me. What does this involve? I dont want them on my case when im gonna be having a baby in a few weeks and im in the process of moving house. Would they visit me once and that be it? Or could they end up getting involved constantly im worried about them trying to accuse me of things that aren't true and causing issues that dont exist I just want them to leave me alone

They will likely visit you at home and ask to see what preparations you've made for the baby. They will explore your history to see if there's any background of alcohol abuse and will give you an opportunity to respond to what was alleged by the paramedic. They will also speak with your midwife to see if she has any concerns.

I had a history of drinking alcohol in the past but not everyday I'd go out and drink on my days off work with my friends I was in my early 20s so I dont think its fair they'd use that against me

Okay, stop. First things first - you need to be really honest with yourself about why they are looking to investigate. You don't have to tell us of course but I can 10000000% guarantee to you that being a bit smelly just by itself has not triggered this action.

Once you've been honest with yourself, consider what help you might need, or what others might consider you need. Babies don't need that much more, but they do need to be clean, fed, warm, and have consistent adult care. Are there any of those things that youre struggling with? If so, this is the time to ask for help with that. It can be really hard to reflect on ourselves and consider that there might be some things we could maybe improve on but if you work with social care then the experience will be much better for you and have a better outcome for baby than if you are resistant, combative and dismissive.

I am not a social worker but I work with them daily - with families where mums have been able to keep their babies, and sadly where they have not been able to. The common connection between all of those who have kept their babies is that they worked with SS, not against them. I have seen social care give countless chances and choices and support options (way way more than I sometimes think they should have) - the families who have had their children removed have consistently refused to engage and ultimately social care havent been able to demonstrate to court that parents have their best interests at heart.

TLDR - be honest and work with them.

They literally just said to me at the hospital they wanted to put a MASH referral in because one of the paramedics reported I smelt of stale alchol and have drank in the past and they thought it was weird I was sat outside for a couple hours waiting for an ambulance when they told me to stay where I was in public all the other midwives said I didnt smell but wanted to put a referral in anyway even though I said I didnt need any help because I stopped drinking a long time ago

Whatever the circumstances are, work with them or things will only get worse.

If there's no issue, they will visit once and that will be the end of it.

Who called an ambulance? Why did you need an ambulance? Why were you sat outside?

That's what im hoping for its just stressed me out because im 34 weeks already and made me worry when ive done nothing wrong

Why was the ambulance called? Why was it weird that you were sitting outside? What was going on? There's more to it than smelling of alcohol isn't there?

This, and when you say 'a history of alcohol' do you mean this caused you to be known to services like health and ss?

Because I have low blood pressure i always have since I was little and It makes me pass out since ive been in my 3rd trimester its gotten worse and I passed out twice. It was just there opinion that they thought it was weird I was sat alone outside waiting for an ambulance for so long so no there is nothing more to it the midwives at the hospital just wanted to put a referral in I have no idea why its a bit over the top in my opinion

No i have never been known to anything like this everyone likes to party as a teen its got nothing to do with me now

Have you attended all your maternity appointments? Scans etc? Who called the ambulance - did they wait with you?

How would they know about this then?

Sitting outside for hours alone waiting for an ambulance while 34 weeks pregnant & concerned about passing out, coupled with a concern of alcohol use, would probably trigger the suspicion of most services to be honest.

If you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to worry about.

Hi @Annikin271

Thos sounds like a difficult and worrying situation for you. Are you able to answer some questions (it’s ok if not please don’t feel you have to share more than you feel comfortable with) it’s just to see if I can offer some advice as have experience in this area.

Do you have any other children ? Were there any issues with the pregnancies with them or any social services involvement ?

Have you needed to access help for addiction in the past?

again please don’t answer if you don’t feel comfortable

Yea ive attended everything I called 111 because I wanted to see if they thought it was worth getting checked out and they just sent me an ambulance because im heavily pregnant

Because I was honest and told them I used to drink alot years ago but dont anymore

No I dont have any children and I've never had help with addiction I only have a history of depression

What had they asked you to make you feel it was relevant to give them that sort of medical history ? Did they specifically ask if you had been drinking ?

Really great that you were honest about your previous history with alcohol addiction. This will not go against you, I promise. But if you did not have any formal support to overcome your addiction, they may well wonder if some support around birth might be helpful as it is a key tricky time for everyone who gives birth and old coping strategies can sneak back in.

Do you have a partner/is baby's dad involved? Do they drink? Who are you living with and do they drink?

My advice would be to fully engage with social services , they will probably do a home visit and check in with your midwife etc. Be open and honest and if there are no issues they will quickly realise or they may be able to offer support were needed.

Do you have a supportive partner and family / friends ? How is your depression now are you feeling ok or still having treatment/ therapy?

They asked me if I had been drinking I said no the midwives at the hospital was asking about it just routine questions I guess so I said I used to drink but I dont anymore

Im living with my mum atm im moving into my own house in a few days with my partner he doesn't drink

I think my depression was mainly worse from the drinking I still think im depressed but no where near as bad as I was when I was drinking my moods also gotten alot better since ive been pregnant I haven't been emotional at all like other pregnant women say they are

That’s positive then and you should tell them this. It’s also good that you have your mum for support will you still be living nearby to her when you move ?

I'll be about an hour away but ive got 2 sisters that live in the same area and have my partner and my dad visits every weekend so I wont be alone its my mums first grandchild so I suspect she'll be visiting alot