Struggling with working while 30 weeks pregnant as a junior doctor, with a toddler in tow

[Thetireddoctormum]

Hi mumsnet,

Im looking for some advice / reassurance as I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with my second child , due in August.m

I have a 20 month old and work as a junior doctor, currently in intensive care. I work an 80 percent rota (so 4 days a week) and I have been struggling so much with HG SPD and general exhaustion in this pregnancy. I stopped my on calls at 28 weeks, my current work have been very supportive but apparently most trainees continue (they were surprised when I asked to stop at 28 weeks but took me off no issue). I’ve got horrendous thrombosed haemorrhoids at the moment and so have had to call in sick yet again (I can’t sit on them they are so painful) and feel like I have to call in sick fairly regularly (just for normal pregnancy related difficulties). I’m sure it’s pissing my colleagues off.. I’m sure it may be suggested that I drop hours but financially I can’t afford to do that (due to a house move), nor can I afford to start mat leave early.

Has anyone any advice how to manage? I feel guilty about calling in sick so much but am struggling. Feel like I’m just failing at work 🥹

Sorry for the ramble and thank you!

You can afford to go on mat leave early, you’ll just have to go back sooner? It’s unfortunate that it’s not your ‘ideal’ but plenty women do the same.

Have you got good shoes? Do you wear a belly band? Do you take all your vitamins? Do you offload your toddler to your partner as much as possible? Do you elevate your feel on breaks? Have you got a donut cushion for the piles?

Also, being preggo with a toddler is awful. Having a newborn and toddler is so much easier in my opinion!

Thank you! Yes I may have to, I read in contract that they should really make ‘alternative work arrangements’ eg light duties but the reality is, I know very few doctors or nurses who have had this. You don’t get moved to office work ,you just get told ‘take mat leave early’ , if you are struggling. Grossly unfair, because if I could sit at a desk comfortably and work , it would help with continuing working.
partner is super wonderful, and deals with the toddler as he has tonnes of energy, wearing a band at work etc. I’m slightly embarrassed to take my donut cushion to work though 😅

Don't feel guilty! You are pregnant and suffering. I'm sure you'll get comments along the lines of "other women do it" blah blah, but one woman struggling doesn't mean all women should struggle. You shouldn't have to take mat leave early, or drop hours. If it is too difficult to work, can you be signed off sick? What is the sick pay like for you? I can't imagine having to do your job feeling as bad as you do! Obviously if you reach the cut off and you're still off sick, your mat leave will start early but I think that's only 4 weeks early.

Sick leave and don’t think twice about it.
you are a number to the nhs. A training number that will be replaced tomorrow.

To your children you are everything. Their only mother.

Sick leave to 36 weeks when either annual leave or mat leave starts.

Do not risk yourself.

love, a previous training number.

This. Sick leave is there for a reason.

Honestly prioritise yourself and your health.
NO ONE ELSE WILL.

It took me ages to realise this.

I would self cert for 5 days NOW before 36 weeks - say its covid / flu / D&V whatever.

Put your feet up, eat some cake and get some haemorrhoid cream on your bum!

Bloody hell, OP. That sounds like a heck of a lot.

I echo PPs. You’re No 1. You’re not a shirker. Utilise your rights! If you dropped dead tomorrow, your employer would have your stuff cleared out and think no more of it.

I was working in ICU as a staff nurse with my first 2 pregnancies - it was very hard. On the first pregnancy I thought I would work until 34 weeks - well that sure as hell didn't happen as I got sciatica +++ wearing a belly band etc etc and couldn't make it to the corner shop . Felt super guilty about going on leave at around 27 weeks but really? I should have stopped sooner. Doing nights etc in a busy unit was basically hellish.

I'll reiterate what others have said, and say you need to prioritise your health and your baby's health - cause no one else will do - and Don't Feel Guilty.

Take sick leave. Your GP will sign you off. You and your pregnancy are far more important than work. You're a number at work and entirely replaceable. I'm also in training and have ended up taking over 3 months off in total due to HG, most in first trimester but then again in third trimester when my medication stopped working. Taking a chunk of leave is often easier on colleagues than frequent odd days off as cover can be sorted. I felt guilt at times but realistically, I couldn't work safely and in the third trimester I couldn't handle trying to persevere anymore. I took then took annual leave from 36 weeks and have started may leave at 39 weeks. Also in my specialty, almost everyone stops doing oncalls very early on, I don't think it's usual to keep doing them into the third trimester in any specialty from what I hear.

sick leave is one option, so is trying to negotiate annual leave. If working in some capacity remains possible though then some ideas.... any half decent ICU will be involved in research it may be possible to get involved with, there will be a billion audits that need organising, they will have a follow-up clinic that you could provide valuable support to, or there's probably teaching that can be done... all of which could be done in an office/home and would be a valuable use of someone's time...it may just be that they haven't thought that far out of the box and are only thinking in terms of covering the rota. Your occ health department should be able to support these adaptations. Your Deanery and educational supervisor should be able to support too and if your ed supervisor is clueless (/male) then find a sypathetic female consultant colleague who's had kids. BMA might have suggestions too if you're still giving them money. If all else fails and you're feeling ballsy tell them about the thrombosed haemorrhoids...it's amazing how quickly they'll move to make things better if you keep threatening to share all the gory details!!!

Sick leave 100 percent. It’s so true you are only a number at work.

I'm a nurse who is on light duties while pregnant. It may be easier for me as I'm not 'in numbers' in my role.

Have you asked for different duties? There must be some audit work or desk work you can do somewhere, it will require effort on your supervisor's side to find but say what you need. Ask for an OccHealth referral and say what you need.

And go on extended sick leave if you need it. You're only 4-6 weeks away from when many go on mat leave anyway.

This!

I'm a resident doctor with a 6 year old and a now month old. I had similar issues with my health in this pregnancy. Don't listen to your Trust telling you that "most" people continue to do on calls, this certainly isn't my experience at my hospital and these can be further detrimental to your health. I stopped on calls at 10 weeks and only worked 8.5 hour days.

I agree with the above advice, I ended up taking sick leave. The NHS does not care about us, the NHS just sees you as a number and will work you into the ground. Prioritise your health and your family, don't worry about anything else.

Get a support belt for your bump and re adjust frequently throughout the day to ensure bump isn’t putting as much pressure on your pelvis. I only managed to 31 weeks with SPD with my son then 35 with my daughter with the above changes. I work long hours as an NHS nurse.

Take breaks when you can and as often as you can (I could go a whole shift without food so can totally understand this is a ridiculous suggestion 😂) Look into exercises specifically for SPD, even a burring ball might be more comfortable for your haemorrhoids too.

Also as others have said go off sick!! You will get sick time and they then start maternity from 36 weeks!

Your employer should have completed a risk assessments or more than one. They should be able to put you on light duties / make reasonable adjustments. Just because others haven't need to do this doesn't mean you don't need to.
Contact Occ health for advice.
I reduced my hours before baby 1 by using up annual leave, so one day a week leave before I went on mat leave.
You will accrue annual leave during mat leave so this could be an option.
Consider what advice you would give to a patient in a similar position. Your health and baby's health is more important than anything else. Starting mat leave early may be best for you and baby, you can also spend more time with your toddler before baby arrives.

Edited to agree with others that sick leave is an option, at some point pregnancy related sickness becomes mat leave, check the policy for this.

sick leave. Look after yourself and your family. You’re just a number on a spreadsheet to the NHS. Don’t even think twice.

Could they vary your schedule where you work two days then one day off, then work two days with two off ?

That could give you a day of rest between your shifts perhaps ?

I feel for you. Sending love and strength. As others have said, ask for light duties, go to the Union if need be, then sick leave if they can't help. HG is fucking awful. If any of those men had it they would be in fucking bed for days.

I echo this advice to go off sick. Not everyone has the same pregnancy experience; you know that as a doctor, so don’t compare yourself to how others have managed, as it’s irrelevant.
In years to come, you’ll look back and wonder why on earth you didn’t put yourself first.
Ex-nurse here, by the way. Still working in healthcare and the environment is brutal with a tough pregnancy. It happened to me and I had to finish early.
Can they not find some kind of desk job for you for a few weeks? Advice and guidance is still a commissioned service, is it not? Couldn’t you propose something like that as an alternative? Maybe if you can think up an alternative, it could be allowed. Good luck.

Band 6 in a gastro ward. Went off sick at 25 weeks as just physically couldn’t do it anymore. The exhaustion, the aches and pains and the mental load. Felt guilty but patients deserve me sharp.
agree with everyone saying your just a number x

Hugely naïve comment incoming (disclaimer: I’ve never worked for the NHS nor any public sector body): I’m just shocked that even in a medical setting, women’s health/pregnancy is just ignored and you’re having to deal with this OP.

Come on now. You are a doctor. What would you advise a patient to do in your situation?