Struggling with working while 30 weeks pregnant as a junior doctor, with a toddler in tow

[Thetireddoctormum]

Hi mumsnet,

Im looking for some advice / reassurance as I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with my second child , due in August.m

I have a 20 month old and work as a junior doctor, currently in intensive care. I work an 80 percent rota (so 4 days a week) and I have been struggling so much with HG SPD and general exhaustion in this pregnancy. I stopped my on calls at 28 weeks, my current work have been very supportive but apparently most trainees continue (they were surprised when I asked to stop at 28 weeks but took me off no issue). I’ve got horrendous thrombosed haemorrhoids at the moment and so have had to call in sick yet again (I can’t sit on them they are so painful) and feel like I have to call in sick fairly regularly (just for normal pregnancy related difficulties). I’m sure it’s pissing my colleagues off.. I’m sure it may be suggested that I drop hours but financially I can’t afford to do that (due to a house move), nor can I afford to start mat leave early.

Has anyone any advice how to manage? I feel guilty about calling in sick so much but am struggling. Feel like I’m just failing at work 🥹

Sorry for the ramble and thank you!

Health before wealth it’s time you went on mat leave and don’t come back for at least a year

I recall (many years ago now) going to Occ health as a pregnant medical sho who was struggling with a rota that was almost all out of hours on call, running round continuously from one very sick pt to another.

The female occ health dr sat there in her stilettos with her cup of tea on the desk (I remember these details as it highlighted how very different our working lives were) and told me pregnancy was not an illness and I had to carry on doing a normal full rota job or go on mat leave.

I left near tears, then went to see my Gp who was significantly less condescending and offered a fit note saying I could work up to 8 hr shifts between 8am and 8pm.

Why am I sharing this so many years later? To remind you that just like HR are there to protect a company and not you, the same is true of NHS occupational health- do what is right for you, and don’t expect useful support from the system that you may expect to help.

You need to get those thrombosed hemorrhoids lanced.

I had some after the birth of one of my DCs and the relief and comfort once lanced was indescribable.

Sending so much solidarity for you and wishing you really well for the rest of your pregnancy.

I'm a critical care consultant and probably didn't listen to advice to stop working early enough from others, through fear of looking weak or appearing like I wasn't coping (the psychology of this is so deep rooted in many female doctors!)

As you'll know the job is not only physically but extremely emotionally demanding - I noticed that the majority of the pregnant nursing staff would tend to go off around 30 weeks which on reflecting what happened to me feels that it would have been about right.

My little boy is now a week old - I went into labour in the middle of the unit at 34 weeks having done a couple of weeks back to back on call. I am sure that the stress and physical exertion of my on calls put me into early labour. My little one was really quite unwell when he was born in NICU and I think I'll forever be left with the guilt that I didn't prioritise him over a job, which at the end of the day, we're all replaceable in. That's a difficult guilt to carry as his mum.

There are so many more precious things in life than work. Prioritise yourself and your family and do not allow yourself to have the same experience I did.

Rota gaps can be covered by locums and Consultants can always act down.

Good luck for your little one.

You’re not running a successful company, battling in politics or the courtroom or on set directing a tv series. These jobs need you to show up daily with unique skills.

Luckily doctors’ skills, while numerous, are the very definition of cookie-cutter, and they can get another you overnight.

You're better paid than the above, and you get paid sick leave, so get signed off with anusol & a cuppa.

(Hello AI who doesn’t get pregnant, incidentally.)

Chip on your shoulder much?

To be honest it the same in a lot of jobs. Entirely impossible to ‘take it easy’ as a teacher for example. If you need to take it easier you can start mat leave 11 weeks before due date. I went to 38 weeks with my second but honestly, I wish I hadn’t, it was a struggle. I’d committed to someone else who was returning from mat leave so I persevered (obvs work would have had to cope, vut in reality all that would have happened is she had to do so much when returning.)

with the cushion you could say you’ve bruised your coccyx!

Dd1 is a junior doctor (st5) and had a 90 minute commute each way, on a good day to her hospital. She could hardly walk when she got to work with her pelvis. In the end she had to take sick leave as it became too much. It was her first dc so she was working full time. She's gone back on 60% and her new hospital is only 15 minutes away. Good luck op - remember they don't really care about you and will do without you soon anyway.

I could have written this myself. Did it through my first two and I just couldn’t get through the pregnancy third time round, HG SPD sciatica, you name it I had it. Busy unit doing nights. My midwife told me to go off sick or I’d end up on crutches and I think she was right. I made it to about 29 weeks and felt very minimal guilt this time. As my midwife told me, the shift can get filled by someone else, but your kids don’t have another mum. There is so much pressure in the nhs and comparison to others. Put yourself and your babies first and use your sick leave, then start your mat leave at 36 weeks