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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

So worried after overhearing my husbands conversation

71 replies

mrsgreedy · 23/05/2008 14:30

Hello
This is my first post so I hope it works!

I am 20 weeks pregant with twins. We have one daughter already who just started school. When we decided to try for our second child my husband said he would like a boy.

Anyway finding out it was twins was a shock but I got used to it and was excited.

But on Wednesday my husband was watching the football and having a few beers with a family friend while he thought I was asleep. He told our friend he will be gutted if the twins are girls!!

I am so upset about this! I think the beer made him tell the truth.

We were going to let the sex be a surprise but instead I got the lady to write the sex of both twins on a piece of paper. I want to open it so I can prepare my husband.

Help!

OP posts:
Baffy · 23/05/2008 15:09

I agree with Sidge's posts.

gem1981 · 23/05/2008 15:27

men say all sorts of silly things to their mates - most of it we are blissfully unaware of and what we don't know won't hurt us - he probaby hasn't even given it a second thought since that night and you are making your life miserbale through worry.

I would talk to him and tell him you overheard and ask him to be honest and have an open conversation.

Open the envelope if you want but don't feel pressured into doing it because it might make your worry even worse

Daniya · 23/05/2008 15:29

I agree with talking to your DH - being completely open and honest with each other will help you decide what to do together. There's no point hiding how either of you feel as it will just build uncertainty and insecurity.

My husband told his friend that he wanted to find out so he could "get over the disappointment if its a girl" but I know he was only joking because he's told me the same thing! I think this is a common boy thing - men want boys to play playstation and football etc with them but in reality they will love any child who is born just the same. Ok he might prefer a boy as you have a girl already, I think thats quite normal, but it doesn't mean he would love a DD any less.

I think you should talk to him - no doubt he will put your mind at ease however he feels.

Good luck!

PS - I am a bit annoyed at some people telling you to open the envelope - do whatever feels right for you!

EffiePerine · 23/05/2008 15:33

Def talk to him . And open the envelope!

(if it says 'sex not obvious from scan I will be disappointed )

lastboxoftampons · 23/05/2008 15:36

I agree with Sidge. Talk to your husband about it. You can't change the sex of the babies - they are already whatever they are! If you BOTH want to find out, then open the envelope. Personally I don't think anyone could be disappointed when they're handed their newborn baby.

yummymumkte · 23/05/2008 15:39

My husband really wants our 2nd to be a boy, we have a gorgeous dd who he is totally in love with. I know he means it but if another girl arrives in July he will be totally thrilled anyway.

There is nothing you can do to change it, don't open that envelope unless you want to. And of course everything feels so much worse when you have so many hormones, really talk to him about it so you don't stew but he really won't care when you have them what they are.

My DH's grandma says every time I speak to her, oh I hope it's a boy this time and I am actually sick of hearing it! I tell her the same every time, 'we will have what we are lucky enough to be given and hope that they are healthy and so am I'

yummymumkte · 23/05/2008 15:39

My husband really wants our 2nd to be a boy, we have a gorgeous dd who he is totally in love with. I know he means it but if another girl arrives in July he will be totally thrilled anyway.

There is nothing you can do to change it, don't open that envelope unless you want to. And of course everything feels so much worse when you have so many hormones, really talk to him about it so you don't stew but he really won't care when you have them what they are.

My DH's grandma says every time I speak to her, oh I hope it's a boy this time and I am actually sick of hearing it! I tell her the same every time, 'we will have what we are lucky enough to be given and hope that they are healthy and so am I'

fondant4000 · 23/05/2008 15:40

I asked to know the sex of our 2nd (and def last child) for this very reason. We had one daughter. My dh had been a SAHD, and I knew that ideally he wanted a boy. I didn't want to be wondering how he was feeling after just giving birth! So I insisted we found out beforehand.

He thought he didn't reaaly mind, but when we discovered it was a girl at the 20 week scan he was shocked at how it affected him. He felt disappointed AND incredibly guilty for feeling that way.

We talked about it loads. It didn't surprise me he was disappointed - seems like a natural reaction. I told him that if we had had 2 boys I would always miss not having a daughter, It didn't mean he didn't want the child we were going to have, just grieving for the son he's never going to have IYSWIM.

He loves dd2 (18 months) to bits. He still wonders what it would be like to have had a boy - but it isn't sad for him any more. He's glad we found out early so that he had time to get used to the idea, and didn't have the feelings at the same time as holding his new dd in his arms.

hattyyellow · 23/05/2008 15:41

We have twin girls and chose to find out the sex at the 20 week scan.

My DH would love to have a boy and was a wee bit disappointed to find they were both girls.

Once they were born and he got to know them he really does love them to bits, and although he'd still like a son if he possibly could, he wouldn't change them for the world now. They are real daddys girls and adore him.

He said he was very glad that we found out at the scan as it gave him time to get his head around the fact that they were both girls and embrace that fact.

So he was glad that he found out - sorry don't mean to confuse you more!!

Original poster
mrsgreedy · 23/05/2008 15:41

Thanks for all your replies!

I have spoken to my husband. He said that of course he's gonna love the babies come what may, but what bloke would say he wanted to be in a houseful of girls, which I can see his point!

My daughter is at after school club till he picks her up on the way home from work.

So with my husbands blessing I am going to open the envelope!

OP posts:
frogs · 23/05/2008 15:41

Well go on, then! What are they?

EffiePerine · 23/05/2008 15:42

???

Original poster
mrsgreedy · 23/05/2008 15:43

2 boys!

OP posts:
hattyyellow · 23/05/2008 15:44

Congratulations!!!

frogs · 23/05/2008 15:44

Hooray! Now phone your dh and tell him!

Meeely2 · 23/05/2008 15:44

ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay! GOOD BLOODY LUCK!

Baffy · 23/05/2008 15:46

Wow you opened it!!

How lovely. To have 2 boys will be fantastic and I bet your dd will be great with them.

(My cousin is the most girly girl in the world but she now worships her little brother and they have the best bond ever.)

Congratulations!

geordieminx · 23/05/2008 15:46
Grin
NormaStanleyFletcher · 23/05/2008 15:46

Lurk

Come on - tell us!

EffiePerine · 23/05/2008 15:48

Congratulations!

NormaStanleyFletcher · 23/05/2008 15:48

Ohhh - network lag

Congratulations

gem1981 · 23/05/2008 16:07

why am I filling up ?

soooo happy for you, so excited for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a wonderful weekend. x

LadyK · 23/05/2008 16:17

Congratulations! Very happy for you and hope everything continues to go well. And it sounds like your husband might have just been saying stupid man things- they have a tendency to do this you know.

I'm pregnant myself with #3, with two lovely boys at home. My husband is one of the few men I know who has always been desperate for a girl, and the pressure's on, so I understand how you are/were feeling! A week a half to go til my 20 week scan...

Best of luck to you and your happy family!

Original poster
mrsgreedy · 23/05/2008 16:24

I'm so excited! I'd have been happy with any combination but to have a mixed family will be great. Told mny husband and he is over the moon! Just have my daughter to deal with now!!!

What is DH? Is that your husband? Sorry to sound thick!

OP posts:
ScoobyDoo · 23/05/2008 16:28

WOW just read the whole thread what a fab outcome, hey boys are totally fab. enjoy, i am very happy for you