Pregnant with 3rd partner won't speak to me

[Dora334]

Currently have 2 children ages 11 and 9 and found out I'm pregnant with the 3rd, had previous ectopic and miscarriages and one abortion due to partner not being happy and wasnt the right time (please dont judge), always wanted a 3rd child! Did test and has been faint for about a week so in my mind I felt I was having another miscarriage as line wasn't getting darker! Partner seemed supportive! Did a digital test which said pregnant line getting stronger now he won't speak to me and said I've trapped him again new what I was doing al along and now acting depressed and sad, don't no what to do feel lost and alone
X

Indeed.
Honestly if you know your partner doesn’t want a baby and you have unprotected sex, surly there is a moment to mention it. Did you tell him about the forgotten pills?

Not sure what to say to your claim that money doesn’t matter to you when you’ve got two kids to feed and clothe and another on the way. Do you have loads of savings and a high paying job that mean you can walk away from this house he owns without any major inconvenience?

Good for you if so.

You both knew you wanted a baby and weren’t using contraception even though he didn’t want another so he’s being stupid having a tantrum about it but don’t be surprised if he leaves you.

Come on she deliberately missed her pills and he thought she was on the pill. So many women have done this and think they're being clever about it but it's a tale as old as time.

Nothing but prejudice to support this assertion.

Do you have any assets op? If he owns the house and you aren’t married you are in am extremely vulnerable position. You’ve both been irresponsible with the pregnancy. As a general rule I don’t think having a baby when your partner doesn’t want one is a good idea.

Yeah. Quite a coincidence that the one who wanted a third forgot the pills and doesn't want to take some different pills now.

...and if the chosen method of contraception was condoms why were pills involved at all?

It's got baby trap written all over it and if there were any doubt this guy's reaction settles it.

How is the man any more 'trapped' than the first time he got OP pregnant?

He is building his wealth and owns his own property, not remotely trapped.

You might be able to walk away from your children without ever giving it a second thought, but most people feel they have to be there for their children, even if they didn't want that responsibility.

Here's a view in a Dad that walked away from another thread:
"Absolutely! He can’t be arsed with his own kids - massive dealbreaker for the majority of women. Why as a parent OP would you entertain a relationship with a deadbeat dad?"

Why did you both have unprotected sex when you hadn't jointly decided to have a third baby?? Madness.

OP you sound like you are trapped in a cycle of losing a baby and getting pregnant again, whether subconsciously or not. It is your decision whether to keep your baby now you are pregnant. Whether you or he he is or isn’t responsible, is irrelevant. I would recommend counselling either way, preferably with an abortion counsellor who could help you make sense of your regret about your last abortion even if you are 100% sure about keeping this one.

I would also talk to a friend since you don’t have the support of your DH. He is essentially guilt-tripping you into coming around to his way of thinking.

I don't understand this comment. Where did you get the man walking away from his kids from?

This. Homeless with three children is not funny.

Everyone has been irresponsible with the lives of the existing children and the one on the way.

I was asked in what way he was trapped, I answered. (I quoted the question too!)

Did you hope that forcing things along would result in a different outcome than him wanting you to have an abortion?
Surely the best time to talk about having a third is before you get pregnant, I think you are in a very vulnerable position 2 children and another on the way, not married and no financial security.
Of course your body your choice but I think you need to consider do you want to do this as a single parent?

I still don't get it. You think anyone who has a kid is trapped?
(I'm childfree, so zero skin in the game or kids to walk away from :) )

So he chose not to put the condoms on and you chose to take the risk?

Please tell me that you have something in place to protect you and your children financially in the event of you splitting up? A civil partnership, a cohabitation agreement?

I still don't get it. You think anyone who has a kid is trapped?

You think they're not?

How can a man who already has 2 children use the term trapped because he got his partner pregnant again - mental!

Or are the other two kids not his?

He's trapped for the duration of the childhoods. Now the clock starts again and he has to wait for another child to get to 18, or 25 of whatever age they still need him to be a hands on father.

Clearly he is gutted by this nightmare situation, he's hardly likely to be secretly pleased about it but pretending not to be. We can take him at face value, he definately didn't want this situation, and the OP did want this situation.

Woah. OP said she brought condoms after missing her pills and he wouldn't use them so let's not let him off the hook here.

That's an interesting take on parenthood, but ok.
He has got OP pregnant seven times, if not more, so I assume he's not too distressed.
(Sorry for your losses OP, if you're still reading)

I'm saying he is trapped in reply to someone who says he isn't. He might have trapped himself, but he's still trapped.

He's less free than he was before.

I assume he's not too distressed.

Well great, the OP lead us to believe he's unhappy with the situation. Glad she's misleading us and he's not too worried. A happy ending.

It's his own fault as he had the choice to use a condom and didn't, it's not like you fished a used condom out of the bin and inseminated yourself with the semen, that would be trapping him but you didn't do that, he should have used a condom if he didn't want another baby. I would have refused him sex.