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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Having babies in your 40s

71 replies

moonsovermiami · 26/05/2025 12:15

What's your personal stance on waiting until 40s to have kids?

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Notupmyalley · 19/06/2025 17:12

If I had a choice I wouldn't wait until my 40s.

Lucindaa · 20/06/2025 11:22

I'm 40 and in my 8th week praying everything is good.

The anxiety is killing me and I look 20 week with my severely bloated tummy.

Since reading things about the increases in complications and issues with the child I cant seem to get that out of my head.

Lu x

Charliede1182 · 20/03/2026 19:11

I think it sounds like a dreadful idea to those of us who already have children, however there are considerable differences physically, socially, emotionally and economically between women who are already mothers and those who are in their forties without having gone through pregnancy, birth, sleepless nights, all the stress etc of having children.

Those approaching or considering first time motherhood after 40 tend to have a biological age several years younger, be more resilient and often more financially secure.

I went through several rounds of IVF in my early 30's and made a few friends several years older pursuing treatment to become pregnant for the first time, and it was interesting to see the differences.

I think there are definitely some advantages but in my experience there are two things I would caution on -

One is that older parents are more likely to experience the onset of health problems and even in some cases pass away, whilst their children are relatively younger compared to people having kids in their 20s. This isn't a given obviously, but more likely.

Second is that IVF is not a treatment for age related fertility decline unless you either froze eggs or embryos years earlier, or are using donor eggs.

A lot of people think "it's ok if I've left it too late, I'll just have IVF" You can spend thousands of pounds to get your eggs into a Petri dish but those eggs are still 40 odd years old.

chewcheweewww · 20/03/2026 20:25

Not for me! the chances of a full term healthy pregnancy must be starting to drop by then and an 18 year old having a 60 year old parent is far from ideal IMO. Who knows though if i didn't meet someone to have a child with before then.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 20/03/2026 20:27

Charliede1182 · 20/03/2026 19:11

I think it sounds like a dreadful idea to those of us who already have children, however there are considerable differences physically, socially, emotionally and economically between women who are already mothers and those who are in their forties without having gone through pregnancy, birth, sleepless nights, all the stress etc of having children.

Those approaching or considering first time motherhood after 40 tend to have a biological age several years younger, be more resilient and often more financially secure.

I went through several rounds of IVF in my early 30's and made a few friends several years older pursuing treatment to become pregnant for the first time, and it was interesting to see the differences.

I think there are definitely some advantages but in my experience there are two things I would caution on -

One is that older parents are more likely to experience the onset of health problems and even in some cases pass away, whilst their children are relatively younger compared to people having kids in their 20s. This isn't a given obviously, but more likely.

Second is that IVF is not a treatment for age related fertility decline unless you either froze eggs or embryos years earlier, or are using donor eggs.

A lot of people think "it's ok if I've left it too late, I'll just have IVF" You can spend thousands of pounds to get your eggs into a Petri dish but those eggs are still 40 odd years old.

This thread is from last year

AuraBora · 20/03/2026 20:30

passmeaglass · 26/05/2025 14:21

Exhausted with my almost 3 yr old DS at 42. Absolutely couldn’t cope with another child now without losing something - myself, marriage etc! Wouldn’t have been my first choice to have him so late on but life had other ideas. I wouldn’t be without DS but nothing could tempt me to have another. I can imagine things might have been different if I was 5 or 10 years younger.

Similar here. Exhausted at 43 with a 4 year old (and also an 8 year old).
Id say early 30s is ideal if it works out that way.

VioIetMoon · 20/03/2026 22:42

Its a personal decision. How a woman feels in her 40s is an individual experience. Some women are healthier and fitter and some women are knackered. Im in my 40s now and im pregnant and also have a 1 year old. I dont feel any difference compared to my 20s or 30s.
I know alot of women who had their kids young and they wouldn't dream of having a child in their 40s cause theyre too tired to run after kids . They just want to be lazy and chill at this stage in life. More or less their words, not mine. My theory is, I think for some of them , having kids young has wore them out by this stage whereas people like myself, up until our 40s , weve been more free to focus on ourselves. We haven't exhausted ourselves having raised children for one possibility. Also some people just dont have as great of health like others do. They seemingly age faster. Be it genetics or lifestyle. Some just dont have the energy or same mobility anymore.
I think women shouldn't face judgement and should be free to have children whenever it suits their life and not feel pressured into doing so by a certain life stage
Some women face fertility struggles, others dont meet their partner until later in life. Some women want a career or want to wait until the own a property and can financially provide for a child.
Who cares what people think of you.
Have your children when its the right time for you , not what others think

Callmebubblesdarlingeverybodydoes · 20/03/2026 22:48

Irresponsible, selfish and just stupid in my opinion to have a child over 40.

Mumblechum0 · 20/03/2026 23:06

Risky. I do wonder if there’s a correlation with autism, just based on my own friendship group. There seem to be a lot of kids with autism these days and a lot of older parents. I haven’t researched this in detail, it may be coincidence

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 20/03/2026 23:12

Personally I wouldn’t want to have babies in my forties. My children will be teenagers when I turn 40 and as much as I love babies, I really can’t see myself wanting to start all over again at that point.

mondaytosunday · 20/03/2026 23:14

@Callmebubblesdarlingeverybodydoeswhy? Why is it irresponsible? People over 40 are more likely to be financially stable. Why selfish? Why stupid? My children, and those of my friends who had children in their 40s, are all contributing in one way or another to society. Some are in the military, some are doctors, some are working in jobs that keeps society housed and clothed and fed. Explain to me why any of that is irresponsible, stupid or selfish.

curliegirlie · 21/03/2026 08:42

I’m 43 and now have a 7 week old (alongside our 7 and 10 year olds). It’s all been fine so far - smooth pregnancy, straightforward birth (even the induction I was railroaded into due to my age wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I feared), and the night wakes are actually ok too, despite being fully in the throes of cluster feeding! It’s lovely having a newborn again, and my elder two are besotted with her, and loving being big sisters!

cheesycheesy · 21/03/2026 08:48

Callmebubblesdarlingeverybodydoes · 20/03/2026 22:48

Irresponsible, selfish and just stupid in my opinion to have a child over 40.

Why?

PersephoneParlormaid · 21/03/2026 08:50

I’m 55 now and there’s no way I’d have the energy for a child/teen now. I’m glad that’s all over.

Thisle · 21/03/2026 08:52

Callmebubblesdarlingeverybodydoes · 20/03/2026 22:48

Irresponsible, selfish and just stupid in my opinion to have a child over 40.

You know people have done it time out of mind right. It is natural for a woman's body to have kids till early 40s.

Hallywally · 21/03/2026 08:58

I don’t have a stance- to each their own. I’m mid 40s and I personally would feel far too old but have had friends who’ve had babies in their 40s and I’ve been over the moon for them. I don’t judge anyone.

VioIetMoon · 21/03/2026 22:26

Mumblechum0 · 20/03/2026 23:06

Risky. I do wonder if there’s a correlation with autism, just based on my own friendship group. There seem to be a lot of kids with autism these days and a lot of older parents. I haven’t researched this in detail, it may be coincidence

I Know several children with autism. At least 6 children that i have interaction with and of all those mothers only one was above 35 . 3 of them their mothers had them in their very early 20s

SpecialAgentMaggieBell · 21/03/2026 22:29

Mumblechum0 · 20/03/2026 23:06

Risky. I do wonder if there’s a correlation with autism, just based on my own friendship group. There seem to be a lot of kids with autism these days and a lot of older parents. I haven’t researched this in detail, it may be coincidence

My dd has autism, I was 24 when she was born. My nephew has autism, my sister was 33 when he was born. There’s more kids with autism now because we’re able to recognise the signs more.

Purplerainblue · 21/03/2026 22:30

I personally wouldn't do it because I’d want my children to have the “ younger me” while they are young and also younger me while they are in their 20s but it’s personal preference people may see it as living their lives to the full and then beginning a family at 40 where as I’m looking at it as I’m 30 now pregnant for the second time with a 4 year old and I’ll be able to live again in my late 40s early 50s because my children will be grown up and be able to be left unsupervised 😂. It really is personal preference though but Personally for me I think if I got closer to 40 without this second pregnancy I’d have decided to be one and done.

catin8oot5 · 21/03/2026 22:34

Fools game

notthatoldchestnut · 21/03/2026 22:40

xMrsxHx87x · 26/05/2025 16:05

I'm pregnant at 38 after IVF due to unexplained infertility. This will be my first. I absolutely wasn't mum material in my twenties, and in my early thirties DH and I were enjoying the honeymoon period of early marriage. When we decided TTC naturally, it soon became apparent we were struggling; I'd said then that absolutely no way would I want a baby past 40, and that if it hadn't happened for us, that I would rather just embrace being child free.

Now I'm pregnant though, with another embryo in the freezer from the IVF process, I'm much less hard-line on that stance. I've honestly loved being pregnant - I'm VERY lucky to have had an easy pregnancy, which I didn't expect on account of my age - and I definitely feel emotionally and financially ready for this baby, as well as physically fit and well (probably more so than a decade ago, when I was very much a work-hard, play-hard career/party person!). So if it comes to pass that we want to try for a sibling, either naturally or through FET, it'll be near impossible for me to avoid having a newborn in my 40s (unless I want to end up with 2 under 18 months!).

Congratulations! Also - do it and have the small age gap. There’s 14m between mine and I would do it all over again.

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