Date night tonight - would one drink be ok?

[Motherof1and2dogs]

Just curious to see what answers I get for this one.
So I am having a very rare date night with the husband due to having a toddler and the lack of babysitting help/ support we get. Currently 32 weeks pregnant, yes very uncomfortable and very big at this stage but really looking forward to our meal! We have so much to celebrate and we haven’t really had the chance to :(

Would having one alcoholic drink be ok to have with my meal, but something like a cocktail? I would kill for a frozen strawberry daiquiri.

I’m sure on balance it would be fine, but really why would you? One drink won’t enhance the evening in the way several would on a night out (sounding like a hardened drinker I know). If you want that lovely warm feeling (again, I know) you’re making your unborn child share that.
I would wait. Be smug in the knowledge you did everything you possibly could for your baby.
Have a nice evening

This is so sad thread.

Noone knows what is in someone else's glass. A good mocktail looks like the alcoholic version. There are 0 alcohol beers, very low alcoholic beers, non-alcoholic liqueurs deliberately served looking as "drinks".

So anyone throwing dirty looks at a (potentially) pregnant woman with a nice glass at her hand is not judging her really for drinking alcohol, but for her failure to demonstrate to everyone around that she isn't drinking. For daring to have something in a nice glass, for preferring her our privacy and dignity over behaving in a way which would make the public scrutiny easier.

Sad.

I was thinking the same!

Yes of course, I fully understand. I did wonder whether to cite any research in my first answer but thought if anyone was interested they would look it up. There is a lot of evidence including many literature reviews. I am going to paste this one simply because it is updated every three years. The supporting evidence is cited by the authors, each time the information is updated the latest evidence is provided. You can access the supporting evidence for free if you do a medical search. My password as a researcher takes me direct to the supporting literature, I think it will for you but sometimes only a summary is given. If that happens you should be able to access by opening Google scholar and copying in full text and the link. If you don’t feel this is high quality literature, NHS is not always, it is worth having a look at the Australian Dietetic and Midwifery articles on the topic.
www.rcog.org.uk/for-the-public/browse-our-patient-information/alcohol-and-pregnancy/#:~:text=Avoiding%20alcohol%20during%20pregnancy%20is,of%20harm%20to%20your%20baby.

Actually, I believed this but it's wrong.

In the right period of development, even one night's drinking can screw things up for the child it does not need a sustained ongoing drinking pattern.

Perhaps at 10 weeks, but it's unlikely to do much damage at 32 weeks. None of the online sources I've looked at mention specific major risks after the second trimester.

(Again, I'm not advocating for non-stop party time, but there are no zero-risk states or activities for anyone. Maybe the date-night restaurant has E.coli in the kitchen. Maybe the taxi will crash on the way home.)

It’s not like drinking when breast feeding (which is absolutely fine) - when pregnant it goes to baby who doesn’t have a developed liver and you haven’t processed it. Don’t bother. Wait till after the birth.

There is no safe level of alcohol when pregnant. Can’t believe this is even being asked. I’m assuming the OP just wants to validate a choice they have clearly already made.

No

I think it will be ok. But I'd maybe stick to wine/beer or something as these cocktails have spirits in which are stronger. I remember being pregnant and trying to have an alcopop on NYE. I ended up falling asleep on sofa lol.

What exactly did you expect? Everyone to say “go on, one wont harm baby” because nobody knows or can guarantee that. If you can’t go 9 months without a drink, there’s an issue there. Mock tails and alcohol free options are just as good. If I’d picked up a glass of alcohol whilst pregnant (which I’d never have done) then I know for certain hubby would have removed it and given me a telling off. Rightly so.

If my “hubby” had tried removing a drink from me and given me a telling off when I was pregnant he’d have got told to shove it.

All the medical evidence suggests that one drink, drunk slowly and with food, in the second and third trimesters, has zero negative effect on your baby. The risks are elevated in the first trimester and higher when the alcohol hits your bloodstream quickly. One drink on one night when there is no pattern of other drinking will do no harm at all.

Like a PP I highly recommend Expecting Better for debunking the myths around pregnancy.

absoloutely not

Whatever. I wasn’t daft enough to drink during pregnancy. I’m horrified folk think it’s ok. It’s not. Go spend some time with children with foetal alcohol syndrome. As I do in my job. It’s irresponsible and inconsiderate. And if you can’t go a few months without a drink, you have a problem

All my biases aside, are you going to be on here tomorrow all shocked at how rude people were for noticing you drinking while visibly pregnant. Makes for a great follow up post.

I think a lot of babies are conceived while a lot more than one daiquiri has been consumed.

OP this just goes to the RCOG advice page - no article showing that one drink can cause FAS.

Can you share the exact links to the studies please?

My friend was binge drinking every Saturday before she found out she was 2 months pregnant! The baby was fine. He is a healthy 16 year old now.

Oh please. Save your feelings of “horror” for the millions of pregnant women who endure famine, war, disease, rape or abuse during pregnancy, not the ones who have a single alcoholic drink.

I read a book, whilst pregnant, that said that scientific studies found that drinking one unit of alcohol during pregnancy was beneficial to the child HOWEVER anymore than that was not. The problem is that no one fully understands units so therefore they say none.

And i know a woman who went to out once and had a few and her baby has FAS. It was actually what made me research and find out having a drink here and there during pregnancy was not okay.

Full disclosure - I drank a dew times in my third trimester 17 years ago and I too have a very normal child. If I could go back, I would not drink at all though. I was extremely lucky.

One won’t hurt but you will get judgy looks from interfering people who think you are pickling your child and because you have one drink with a meal you must therefore also be drinking a bottle of vodka a day…

I was gutted when I was pregnant as wine tasted awful! So just be prepared to not actually enjoy the drink as your tastebuds change and the judgement sours it.

Advice has definitely changed in the time between my 10yo being born and this pregnancy (I'm also 32weeks). Id also very occasionally have a small glass of something then, because the guidance allowed it, whereas I wouldn't now. However I've also had a very late loss in the interim and IME you need to know you did your best in that scenario because your head goes straight to, 'what did I do wrong?' Midwives went straight from 'you did nothing wrong' to the list of things they would test for, starting off with drugs and alcohol. Personally I'd have a mocktail this time and buy a nice bottle for after birth.

I’d suggest your friend isn’t being entirely honest about their level of alcohol consumption in pregnancy!

who on earth would you take such a risk with your unborn baby? is alcohol really that necessary?!